


Academy Pilots

by callmeonetrack



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: AU, F/M, pre-mini
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-28
Updated: 2011-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-28 07:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/305553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeonetrack/pseuds/callmeonetrack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With their usual bad timing, Kara and Lee decide to start a "just sex" relationship the week before Lee's graduation, and naturally get way in over their heads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nectar of the Gods

“My gods, I am so frakking bored!”

Lee winces as the door to his bunkroom bangs open. He doesn’t need to look up from his textbook. There’s only one person in his life who feels free to waltz into his room at—he checks his watch—0200 without so much as a courtesy knock.

“I could have been sleeping, you know.” He hates the prim tone that creeps into his voice whenever Kara’s around. Somehow she always brings out the hall monitor in him.

“With finals starting at 0800?” She snorts, leaning against the doorjamb. “Yeah, right. I know you; you’ve been jacking your joystick over McAllister’s text all night. I bet that’s your sixth cup of coffee.” She nods to the cup by his elbow. He winces at her crudeness (though he should be used to it by now) and glances into his wastebasket, knowing there’s no way she can see the five cups crumpled there from where she’s standing by the door.

Annoyed, Lee watches as she flops backwards over the foot of his bed. The firm mattress bounces a little and so does Kara. She scoots up, tank rucking up over her stomach as she shimmies her way up his rack to rest on his pillow.  _Great._  Now it will smell like her. Not that he’ll be sleeping tonight anyway. He sips from the coffee, long grown cold, before speaking. “And what about you, Starbuck? You’re not the least bit concerned about your marks?”

“If I don’t know it by now, I never will. No point in stressing.” He watches as she stretches up, reaching for the pyramid ball on the shelf over his bed, her body arcing into a bow. Kara snatches the ball and begins bouncing it hard against the ceiling. “I don’t know what you’re so worried for. It’s all over but the crying now anyway. All of you seniors already have your commissions.”

“Our records are still open—”

“Please, you think war college is gonna boot your ass out for flubbing one little astrophysics test?”

 “One little— It’s sixty percent of our grade, Kara!”

“And you know it like the back of your hand, Lee,” she mocks. “You’ve never gotten below an 88 in that class. In fact, you probably recite formulas in your sleep.” She grins wickedly. “Maybe I should ask Mandy about it. ‘Ooh, E=MC— yeah, right there, baby.’ ”

“Oh, shut the frak up.” But Kara doesn’t seem to hear, clearly carried away with her invented scenario. She’s too busy giggling and grunting and doing a pretty fair imitation (“Yes, Lee, yes! Talk dirty linear equations to me!”) of his now ex-girlfriend’s breathy way of speaking. He’d broken it off with Mandy several days ago, but for some reason, he hasn’t gotten around to telling Kara that yet.

He wads up some scrap paper and launches it at her head. It bounces off her nose, and she yelps and fires the pyramid ball at his shoulder. She misses. Then Kara rolls over onto her side to face him. Her tank climbs an inch higher, exposing taut, tanned abs as she shifts, and Lee blinks. He has a sudden flash of Kara on his bed, twisting towards him, a lazy smile aimed at him just like now, except…she’s naked and he’s sliding in next to her. On top of her. Running his hands— He blinks twice and takes another sip of coffee.

Lee wants to chalk it up to being overtired. But these weird little fantasies—about  _Kara_!—have been happening with a frequency he can’t deny lately. It’s baffling. He doesn’t think of her that way. He can’t. Lee focuses very deliberately on Kara’s face. “Don’t you have someone else you could be antagonizing right now?”

“Hmmm,” she pretends to think it over. “Nope. Besides, gotta get my kicks in while I can. You’re not gonna know what to do with yourself without me around next year.”

An awkward silence falls as her words sink in. One week left. Lee feels a sudden ache in his chest at the thought of the new life awaiting him. He’s never wanted this. The Academy was bad enough, but without Kara around… Well, he’s not exactly looking forward to it.

 “Hey, isn’t your dad coming in tomorrow?”

Lee grimaces, turning back to his book. “Yeah.” He flips a page and it tears.

Blissfully unaware, Kara prattles on. “So I’ll finally get to meet the great Husker, eh?”

He nods, frowning. “My mother and Zak are coming down too. Separately, of course.”

She whistles. “The whole Adama clan. Impressive.” But her voice loses some of its enthusiasm and rings hollow.

Lee shoots her a glance. Kara’s on her back again staring at the ceiling, brow furrowed. He wonders if she’s thinking about her mom. He’s tempted to ask about her, but he knows better. Kara had all but taken his head off a couple weeks ago when he’d innocently inquired about whom she was sending her graduation tickets to. Things had been tense until a few days later, when he’d run by her dorm to drop off a music chip he’d borrowed and happened to spot the tickets in her wastebasket. He’d vowed right then to drag her along to all the family dinners he’d be subjected to before graduation. She could be the sister he’d never had. Sort of.

“Actually, my little brother’s the one who’s impressed,” he says now, smiling when she turns her head and quirks an eyebrow at him. “Keeps asking me why I haven’t introduced him yet to the ‘fox in the red bikini.’”

Her eyes about pop out of her head. “You showed him pictures from our beach trip?” She scowls. “I distinctly remember telling you to burn those.”

“I didn’t  _show_  him anything. He saw it when he was rifling through my wallet.” He sniffs, irked all over again at the memory. “Boundaries don’t really trouble Zak much.”

He expects her to laugh and say something about how Zak sounds like her kind of guy, but Kara’s sitting up now and staring at him in confusion. “You have a picture of me in your wallet?”

 _Shit_. “No! I have a picture of us in my wallet.”  _Frak._  “All of us. You know, from the…from the beach house.” He hopes she won’t call him on it. It  _had been_  a picture of all of them. Lee had just done some creative editing to it. The whole thing wouldn’t have fit in one of those little plastic sleeves anyway.

Kara gets up and walks over to stand behind him. She catches his eye in the mirror above his desk, a grin on her face. “So, little brother’s got a crush, huh?” Lee nods, trying not to get distracted by her hands, which are now resting on his shoulders. She smirks at him, one eyebrow raised mischievously.

Lee tenses, waiting for a wisecrack or maybe for her to ask him to set her up on a date with Zak. Instead she bends forward and he can feel the warmth of her breath as it riffles through the hair near his ear. “Too bad. You’ll have to tell him he’s too late. I’ve only got room for one pain-in-the-ass Adama in my life.” She laughs and reaches up to ruffle his hair, and Lee lets out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.

“Gods, your hair is getting long, Lee.” Her fingers comb through the strands—which  _are_  getting a little unruly—and tickle his scalp. He’s tempted to just lean back and close his eyes. But that would be weird and awkward.

“Damn. I meant to get a haircut today.” The Old Man (that’s what they call him on his battlestar and Lee hasn’t been able to think of him any other way since he heard it) would surely find fault with his decidedly non-military coiffure. “And I’ve got exams all morning, so I guess that’s out now.” He blows out a frustrated breath, muttering to himself, “He’s gonna love that.”

Kara catches his eye in the mirror again, her hands stilling on his head. “I can do it.”

“Do what?”

“Give you a haircut.”

He takes in her short, choppy cap of hair and eyes her skeptically. “Hey, I didn’t do this,” she says, pointing. “Besides, guys’ hair is easy. You just snip a little here and there and you’re done.”

“Kara, I don’t…” The protests die on his lips again when she leans forward, draping herself over and across him, reaching for his desk caddy, where a pair of gleaming scissors rest. Her breasts are pressing against his bicep and her hand is curled around his neck for balance and he finds he can’t speak after all.

“Got ’em!” She pulls back, waving the scissors rather recklessly. It does not imbue him with confidence. Her grin is infectious though.

“Is this really a good idea?” He has visions of himself standing in front of his father, his head looking like it’s gotten too close to a Mark-II turbine engine.

“No. This is a  _great_  idea,” Kara croons. “I am bored. And it’s your job to amuse me. Three years and you haven’t figured that out by now?”

“Oh, so I’m your personal slave, am I?” He lets his voice drop just a little. Just to show her he can play her game too. “I’m just here to see to it that your every need is satisfied?”

Her hand is warm on his neck and her face hovers over him, so close that he can see the little flecks of gold around her irises. She has cat’s eyes, he thinks randomly. Her wide mouth twists devilishly, catching his attention and dragging his gaze lower. He watches, transfixed, as her tongue peeks out and glides over her bottom lip. He’s so caught up tracking the motion that her voice, lowered to match his, almost startles him. “You think you could keep me satisfied,” she pauses, eyes locking on his, “Lee?”

His stomach flips when she says his name, which is odd, because it’s not like she hasn’t said his name thousands of times before. But maybe…maybe never quite like that, and it’s making him think impossible things. Like, what would happen if he reached up and tugged her head down to him, just enough so he could taste—

His thoughts abruptly terminate when Kara laughs suddenly and shoves him back in the chair. A flush burns its way up his neck as he realizes he’d been leaning forward like an eager puppy. Lee fidgets uncomfortably as she straightens up behind him, clicking the scissors open and shut with an enthusiasm he fears.

The unease must show on his face, because Kara rolls her eyes. “Just trust me, Apollo. And sit still for frak’s sake. Wouldn’t want to nick that pretty face.” She shoots him a sly glance. “Mandy wouldn’t thank me for it.” 

He coughs and clears his throat, which suddenly feels very tight. “Actually, she might.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Her voice is light, lighter than usual, and Kara’s looking down, not meeting his eyes.

“We broke up last week.” And now she’s looking right at him. Eyes wide, blinking. Her mouth falls open and he waits for the joke, the cutting insult, but all she says is, “What happened?” She turns away a little before Lee can answer, but he’s watching her closely and doesn’t miss the little grin she bites back.

Lee can’t tell her that Mandy didn’t quite understand why he’d rather invite his smart-mouthed best friend to dinner with his family instead of her. He’s a terrible liar (too many nights losing triad games to Starbuck taught him that a long time ago), so he evades the question. “I’m leaving soon anyway. I doubt I’ll have much leave time keeping up at war college.”

The grin disappears and they both fall silent. He’s shot through suddenly with a wave of such intense longing that it physically hurts for a second, and it’s crazy. He didn’t feel like this when he broke up with Mandy last week, and he hasn’t gone anywhere yet.

The scissors click open again and Kara says, “Well, we better do something about this mop, Apollo, or they really might change their minds about letting you in.” She lifts the scissors and snips the first lock before he can answer.

He watches Kara as she works. Her hands are surprisingly gentle, steady as they comb out the strands and snip away. The first few clacks sound loud in the quiet room and he wishes he’d thought to put a towel down because she’s getting hair all over his carpet, but after a minute he just gives in. The rhythm of the clicking metal and the feel of her hands lull him, and he really does close his eyes this time.

“If I didn’t know better, Lee, I’d think you were enjoying this.” Kara’s hand slides forward and cups his jaw, tilting his head back towards her. He rests the crown against soft curves as she trims the front of his hair.

“You’re dreaming it. I’m just too afraid to look.” But he does open his eyes and she’s closer than he expected. She’s leaning forward, hazel eyes bright above him, and they lock gazes again. A new tension steals through him, and for one crazy minute he wants to reach up and hold her face in his hands. She blinks first and releases his chin, then gives his head a little push forward. He clenches traitorous hands in his lap, just in case they get any ideas about roaming where they shouldn’t. The metal is cold but her fingers are warm against his nape as she tugs on the locks brushing his collar, combing through and trimming them.

His gaze catches on his open, forgotten astrophysics textbook on his desk, and Lee feels guilty. “Are you almost done, Kara? ’Cause some of us poor fools still have more studying to do tonight.”

“Hey, you can’t rush genius.”

“I’ll remember that when I meet one.”

“Do you really think it’s a smart idea to taunt a woman who’s wielding a very sharp instrument?” She narrows her eyes at him in the mirror. “I could slip, you know.”

Kara steps around to the side of his head, fiddling with the hair over his ear. Then she darts around to the other side to do the same, frowning. She goes back around and snips a little more, then circles again to snip yet more.

“Kara, you’re making me dizzy.”

He sees her glare at him in the mirror. “I just can’t tell…” Her eyes light up and she yanks his chair back from the desk. Kara steps around in front of him, straddling his knees and coming in close as she reaches for his head. Her hands settle on his jaw, pulling him forward. “That’s better.” She clips a few strands, tilting her head and squinting to be sure the sideburns are even. “Can you slide forward a little more?”

He shifts in the chair gingerly, sliding forward to the edge. This presents its own particular problem as now his eyes are level with Kara’s cleavage, and he’s not quite sure what to do with that. The ideas that are coming to mind are all very bad ones indeed. “Tilt your head down a little.” And now he’s pretty sure she’s messing with him, because his chin is nearly brushing her chest, and he’s also pretty sure she’s not wearing a bra under that non-regulation tank top, and he’s about a half a second from grabbing her hips and pulling her down onto his lap when she steps back, bumping into the desk behind her. “All done.”

Kara’s blocking his view, so he has to stand up to see his hair. There’s not much room with her in front of him, but he gets up carefully and peeks over her head into the mirror. He’s shocked to find that it doesn’t look bad. There’s a spot that’s still too long over his right ear, and he’s about to tease her, tell her not to give up flying for barbering, when he catches the expression on her face. She’s studying him, teeth worrying her lower lip that way she always does when she’s nervous. And he realizes she wants his approval.

“Not bad.” He runs a hand over his forehead and through his hair. “Color me surprised. Starbuck has hidden talents.”

Kara grins and waggles an eyebrow at him. “Mmmm. Wouldn’t you like to know?” She winks and twists away to put the scissors back in his desk caddy (even though she didn’t clean them first, and he makes a mental note to do that later).

Lee watches the graceful sweep of her back and thinks to himself,  _Maybe I would_. And then he’s not sure if his brain shuts off completely or just misses a memo, because suddenly his mouth is opening and he’s saying it. And almost of their own volition his hands reach out and settle on her hips.

She turns back to him, startled, a question in her eyes. “Lee?” If she’d sounded the least bit wary or disapproving, he probably would have stopped there, dropped his hands, let it go. But she sounds…curious. And he’s been curious too, for a long time now, if he’s honest with himself (which he usually isn’t). So he edges forward, thighs and hips, stomachs and chests pressing together as he crowds her back against the little desk.

The only thing he can focus on is her eyes, wide and watching him, and he leans in. “Lee?” she says his name again, and his stomach flips just like before, but this time he can feel her body against his tensing too. Her gaze is flicking rapidly from his eyes to his mouth, and his fingers press into the softness of her hips a little harder. 

“Kara?” It comes out like a question, but he doesn’t wait for the answer. He closes the last inch, tilting his head and pressing his lips to hers. He’s so lost in the feel of it, finally tasting her at last (and she tastes like cinnamon, he thinks), that it takes a moment before he notices Kara has gone completely still, frozen against him. He feels a pang of disappointment and eases the pressure, about to pull back, as he racks his brain for an apology, a justification that will fix things. But when his lips leave hers and his eyes open, Kara’s staring at him with a funny look he can’t identify. His tongue feels thick and he’s trying to decide how to fix it, what to say, and he’s still holding her hips when she moves. 

Kara reaches out, cupping the back of his neck and yanking him forward to mash her mouth hard against his. Lee almost yelps in surprise, and it’s awkward at first, noses bumping coupled with the strange awareness that  _Kara_  is kissing him. But then he tilts one way and she the other and her lips part under his, and suddenly it’s glorious. Lee flicks his tongue against the soft curve of her bottom lip and Kara makes a little noise that he’s never heard from her before and slides her free arm around his waist, pulling him closer. Emboldened, he darts his tongue into her mouth, sliding it against hers, stroking hard, and an electric current goes through him. The wet heat of her mouth is like a drug, intoxicating him, and her fingers are trailing over the sensitive skin on the back of his neck. She pulls back a little, sucking his upper lip between her teeth, scoring it gently, and he shivers.

Lee wants more, more, more suddenly and his hands scrabble against her hips, palming them and lifting. Kara takes the hint, boosting herself up onto the edge of the desk, her legs rising to wrap around his waist. He lifts a hand to her cheek, thumb stroking her soft skin, even as his mouth opens, sealing over hers again, and he catches her tongue, sucking on it gently. Kara writhes against him and his hips settle more directly against her groin. He can feel himself hardening, and he grinds just a little into the cradle of her hips. It feels so amazing that he does it again, sliding his mouth down over her jaw and chin, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses all over her neck.

Her hands are gripping his shoulders now, hard enough to bruise, and he leans forward, edging Kara backwards as he stretches over her, dropping kisses down the column of her throat and down her chest, over the swell of her breasts and along the v-neck of her tank top. Lee remembers that she’s not wearing a bra and he reaches up to grip the thin fabric, his palm brushing against a stiff nipple. His fingers hook into the material and he’s just about to wrench it aside and take her into his mouth when Kara yelps and gives him a hard shove back. Lee drops his hands and stumbles back into the chair, shock and confusion infiltrating his desire-fogged brain. He watches as she jumps down, twisting away from him and hunching over the desk.

 _Frak!_  Reality claps through his brain like lightning and he feels ashamed. He’d been practically mauling his best friend on his desk. “Gods, Kara, I’m so… I shouldn’t have—I, I don’t know what came over me. I…uh…I just…” he’s still stammering when she looks over her shoulder at him, and thank the gods, she isn’t crying or anything, not that he’d expect her to. In fact, the very idea of it is kind of—

“Lee.” She snaps her fingers twice rapidly. “Hey! Lee!” She shifts, revealing the surface of the desk, where a puddle of brown liquid is spreading from the overturned coffee cup and trickling towards his physics notebook. “You got a towel or something?”

Snapping into action, he grabs a towel from his closet and throws it over the spill. He pushes the cloth around while Kara sweeps up his books and gives them a shake. A few droplets splatter his arm as she does, but they look okay, relatively dry. Lee lets out a hard breath and just focuses on the desk, his brain still revving in overdrive as he replays the last few minutes in his head.

“Uh, I think you’re gonna wear through the wood, you keep that up.”

He snaps his head up to find Kara watching him, eyebrows raised. “Oh, right.” He stands, wadding the towel up in a ball and pitching it towards his laundry basket. Then he meets her gaze, and it’s remarkably composed. He clears his throat, unsure what to say. “So…”

“So,” she echoes, and smiles strangely, overly brightly. “That was weird, huh?”

“What?” His brain is blank.

“You, me,” she nods toward the desk and laughs, but it sounds weak, a little strangled, to his ears. Or maybe he just hopes it does. “Must’ve been all that caffeine, got you on an endorphins high or something. Yeah?”

He scans her face, wondering if he’s imagining the hopeful, tentative look there. Lee’s unsure how to answer. Does he admit that it was all him, that he’d been wanting to do that for longer than he’d even realized? Or does he take the out she’s offering? He calculates the risk quickly and carefully. He’s only got another week here with Kara and he doesn’t want a fling. He wants her in his life for a long time, maybe even… There’s only one way to answer.

“Yeah, right, I—I’m sorry, Kara. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He steps toward her, a hand extended to…do what? Shake her hand? Touch her again? She steps back anyway and he shoves it into a pocket, rocking awkwardly on the balls of his feet.

“Forget it.” She shrugs, her eyes wide, lips twisting as she shakes her head. “It was nothing. Just a stupid kiss. No need to get all weird about it.” But she takes another step back as she’s talking, and he feels miserable. Lee wants to step forward and tell her it wasn’t stupid at all, that it was the most amazing kiss he’s ever had and that he wants to do it again, right now, in fact.

But she’s already turning toward the door. “I gotta go.” She huffs a laugh. “Either I wet myself in all the excitement or there’s French Vanilla running down my leg.”

“Kara, wait.” He steps forward and sees the expectant look in her eyes, and he gets nervous all over again. “I’ll see you tomorrow right? Lunch with the Adama clan.” He forces a smile that he hopes looks natural. “Don’t make me go alone.”

She ducks her head for a minute and when Kara looks up, she’s smirking again and it’s so damn normal that he breathes a sigh of relief that he didn’t ruin everything after all. “You need protecting, Apollo?” She sighs exaggeratedly, “A hero’s work is never done. I’ll be there.” Kara winks at him. “Besides, I’ve got a little brother to impress. Wonder where the hell I put that bikini…” she’s muttering as she strides out of the room. He hears her call out “Sweet dreams, Lee,” before the door bangs shut behind her.

He stays where he is for a moment, just watching the door for a good minute. He thinks about how close he came to losing everything in one little moment of indiscretion. And then he’s thinking about that kiss again and how she’d tasted, how her skin had felt, how her legs had locked around him. Lee flops onto his bed and pulls the pillow over his head to muffle the long groan he lets loose.

It smells like cinnamon.


	2. Family Matters

Lee was sitting alone at a table for five when she finally slipped into the little café just off base, and he looked peeved.

Kara didn’t hurry. It’s not like she was looking forward to playing happy families for an hour, especially after last night, but she’d promised to come so here she was. She hoped they ate fast.

“Finally,” he said, as she sank down into the chair next to him. “I thought you bailed on me.”

“Told you I’d be here, didn’t I?

“Yeah. Ten minutes ago.”

Kara just shrugged. “Rehearsal ran over.” She’d been in the sims all morning, running through the flyby that the junior class’s top pilots would be flying at graduation. She watched Lee frowning and fiddling with the edge of the placemat in front of him. “What’s twisting your shorts?” She looked around with a little snort. “The royal family’s not even here yet.”

His face twisted in a grimace and he gave her a look. “Could you turn the attitude down to 11 please? It’s been a hell of a morning and I’ve already got a headache.” He rubbed a hand across his brow and Kara shot a questioning look at him. “I overslept. I was twenty minutes late for MacAlister’s exam,” his brow creased. “I’m pretty sure I blew the last three questions.”

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Frak, Lee. What the hell were you doing last night?” The minute the words were out she cringed. She knew exactly what the hell he’d been doing. “Ah, right.” She refused to blush, covering instead with a smirk. “Too much coffee, couldn’t sleep.”

He shot her a tortured look. “About what happened. I just wanted to say again that I’m sorr—“

She held up a hand and interrupted him. “You’re sorry it ever happened, you didn’t mean it, biggest mistake of your life, blah blah. Got it. No need to rehash Adama. I told you it was no big deal, alright? Just forget it.” Kara looked away, feeling irritable again. Crap, she’d reached for casual, but she had the sneaky feeling she’d fallen short at bitter. Gods, it was just a kiss in the heat of the moment. He hadn’t meant anything by it. She had to stop thinking about it.

But when she looked back at Lee, he was staring at her with that wounded look like she’d just kicked his puppy. “Kara, I didn’t—“

Suddenly a voice drowned him out and a shadow fell over them. “Lee!”

Kara watched Lee stand and embrace the stocky teenager bouncing on his heels next to the table. “Hey Zak!” He pulled back and looked over the boy’s shoulder. “Where’s mom? Did she-“

“I drove,” he answered hurriedly and a look Kara couldn’t read passed between the brothers. “We ran into Dad outside. He, uh, wanted a word.” Zak hesitated, shrugging a little, then he turned to her, his smile widening instantly. “Hey! Red bikini girl. Thought you said she wasn’t your girlfriend, Lee?” 

He slugged his brother in the arm ignoring Lee’s embarrassed protests and then plopped down, all elbows and knees, in the chair next to Kara and dragged it so close he was practically in her lap. He had slightly shaggy hair and his eyes were brown, not blue like Lee’s. In fact, he didn’t look much like his brother at all. Though maybe the cocky little smirk was what was throwing her off. The kid wasn’t bad for a 16-year-old but he obviously thought he was quite the ladykiller. She flashed a quick look at Lee, eyebrows raised, teeth sinking into her lower lip so she wouldn’t laugh.  _Is he for real?_ She wanted to ask.

Lee grimaced and rolled his eyes. “Zak, this is Kara.”

“Leland! Bro! You’ve been holding out on me.” Kara’s eyes lit up with mirth, she mouthed the word “Leland?” and watched Lee cringe. Oh, this was perfect. Blackmail material for sure. She was just about to crow gleefully and make a joke about the name when a sweaty hand landed on her knee.

She whipped back around to Zak, who very obviously dropped his eyes to her chest, even though she was wearing her regulation tanks and had no cleavage showing at all. “A woman like you is way too much for my brother to handle.”

“Oh really?” Kara dropped a hand over his. She tilted her head, and gave the kid a long, slow once over. “You’re cute.” He preened and she smiled the same way she did when she got a lock on a raider in the sims. “But you’re not that cute.”

Kara closed her fingers around his and squeezed hard and Zak yelped. “You want to keep using these hands, I strongly suggest you learn to keep them to yourself.” She let go, and scooted her chair a bit further from Zak and closer to Lee.

“Damn! She is a firecracker!” His eyes were wide as he shook his fingers out and looked at Lee, who was shooting a disapproving look at his brother. Surprisingly Zak was still grinning too. “That’s okay though. I like a good challenge.” 

Kara laughed, shaking her head, and looked back to Lee. “You sure you’re related to this one, Apollo?”

He opened his mouth to respond, an irritated look on his face, when a couple stepped through the café door. The woman was beautiful, blonde and slim and wearing a dress that to even Kara’s unaccustomed eye was clearly quite expensive. Commander Adama wore his dress uniform, his face craggy and stern, and his hand was gripping Mrs. Adama’s elbow rather tightly. The woman hissed something at him and yanked her arm away, which threw her off balance. She staggered a little, her gait uneven as they made their way to the table.

Both Lee and Zak stood up and Kara scrambled to follow just a half a beat later. She swallowed hard, feeling her guts roil just a bit. One hour, two tops. She could do this. It was only lunch.

The boys walked around the table to kiss their mother hello and she lifted a smooth cheek to them both but didn’t smile. Kara shifted uncomfortably, standing alone now, but when the commander turned her way, she straightened, hand already lifting to salute. There was something imperious about the man, despite his short stature, and the only trace of Lee she saw in him was maybe a similarity in the set of his shoulders.

“Dad, Mom, this is Kara Thrace.”

His father smiled a little and his whole face changed with the movement of his lips. Kara found herself smiling back as he said, “At ease, soldier. This is a family lunch.”

“Yes sir,” she shuffled a little, feeling a bit unsure as to why the frak she should be included in a family lunch. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir.” Kara shifted slightly and looked at Lee’s mother, whose eyes were narrowed and lips were pursed. “Ma’am.” She nodded. The woman barely returned the gesture, a hand lifting for the waiter simultaneously as the other curled around her wineglass. “Leland, you didn’t mention you’d be bringing a friend.”

“I didn’t think it’d be a problem.” Lee looked confused, tense and Kara wondered again if this had been a terrible mistake. The waiter came and filled their glasses, rattling off a few specials. As he left, the commander leaned over towards his ex and Kara heard him say in a low rumble “Caroline, perhaps water would be a better choice...”

“Oh really, Bill?” She hissed. “You’re going to lecture me on making choices, after you spent the last ten years with your head buried in that battlestar you’re so in love with. That’s rather amusing.”

Lee cleared his throat loudly, shifting his chair perhaps in an effort to drown out the words, though it didn’t work. Zak’s head was lowered, systematically tearing his placemat into strips. Kara looked around at the pinched face of the commander and the equally icy countenance of his ex-wife. She froze in her chair, wondering what the hell was going on. She couldn’t say she had much experience with how families normally operated, but she’d watched enough TV to know this wasn’t the way it usually went. Lee was such a golden boy, she’d never imagined his family would be anything less than perfect. Yet his parents seemed entirely caught up in this little cold war they were waging. Gods, they hadn’t even congratulated Lee.

The waiter bustled back over and took their orders. Lee’s mother suggested he leave the wine bottle at the table and the commander glowered and turned to Lee.

“Do you have everything in order for next week? The shuttle to Libran leaves at 0600 the day after graduation.”

“Yes, sir.” Lee said glumly.

“Good. The ceremony should be interesting. I understand Colonel Masters’ son Doug will be giving the valedictory speech.” He paused and looked at Lee, a small smile on his face. “Thought maybe it’d be you up there.”

Kara watched Lee’s shoulders tense. “I came in third in my class,” his voice was laced with frustration. “Out of 160 ."

“Uh, that’s probably my fault,” she jumped in, drawing the commander’s attention. “He probably would’ve finished first if I hadn’t dragged his nose out of his books so often.”

“Oh? And Kara, do you plan to go on to War College also?”

“I’m only a junior, sir. I have another year before I get my commission.”

“Still, surely you’ve given some thought as to your future placement.”

Kara bit her lip, stalling “Well, uh…to be honest, sir, as long as they let me fly, I don’t much care where my posting is.” He didn’t respond right away and in the silence, Kara wondered if she’d said the wrong thing. Frak. Why had she promised Lee she’d come to this thing? Kara could count on one hand the number of “family dinners” she’d experienced in her life. She was no good at this kind of stuff.

Her leg twitched and she was just about to shoot up and excuse herself, when Lee spoke up. “Kara’s the best pilot at the Academy. She’s held the record for the Mark V and Mark VI viper sims since her second term.”

She shot him a look, surprised, but he smiled at her, looking like himself for the first time since she’d walked into the cafe. It was easy to smile back.

“Kara also holds the record for the most time in hack at the Academy.” Lee chuckled and she kicked him under the table. He yelped and she glared at him before turning sheepish eyes to the commander. It was odd. She barely knew the man but for some reason she felt a twinge of shame, like she didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Is that so?” he asked, his voice mild, but Kara thought she spied a bit of amusement in his eyes.

“Let’s just say, I probably have logged a few too many demerits for War College, sir.” She shifted as the waiter returned and laid plates in front of everyone.

“Don’t be so sure, cadet.” The commander’s deep chuckle rumbled over the restaurant’s din. “I spent my fair share of hours behind those brig bars myself once.”

“What? You did?” Lee looked astounded, his eyes round and fixed on his father. “But…you’re the one who’s constantly going on about how ‘ _Only the best and brightest can wear a viper pilot’s wings, Lee_ ’ and ‘ _I expect more out of you, son_.’” His voice was low, imitating his father but Kara was surprised to hear real anger there under the surface.

The commander frowned and when he spoke he sounded weary. It made Kara think they’d had this conversation many times before. “A father always wants more for his son.”

Lee’s mouth tightened into a grim line and he shook his head, but didn’t respond. Kara felt more uncomfortable than ever and prodded at her noodles. A heavy, awkward silence settled over the table before the commander spoke again, a forced joviality in his voice.

“Well, Cadet Thrace, perhaps I can convince you to serve with me on Galactica someday. We can always use an ace pilot.”

“Could we please get through one blessed hour without you mentioning that dreadful ship?” Caroline Adama interjected, her words rushed and just the slightest bit slurred, as she lifted her wineglass, gesturing wildly with it. Some dark wine splashed over the rim and stained the tablecloth. Kara’s chest tightened a little. “They should just…just…shoot that old thing and put it out to past-pasture.”

Another embarrassed silence fell over the table. Then Caroline turned to Lee. “What happened to that lovely brunette girl you were dating? Amanda?” She sidled a glance to Kara and sniffed, the tip of her patrician nose lifting. “She was such a refined young lady. “

Kara paused mid-chew, a heaping fork of noodles poised to shove in her mouth, and swallowed hard. She carefully laid her fork down and tried to shrink in her chair. She felt eight years old again. Next to her Zak piped up, “More like a boring young lady.” He nudged Kara’s elbow and leered at her. “Besides, refinement is overrated.” Gods, did he think he was helping? Kara wondered if anyone would notice if she tried to hide under the table.

“Mom,” Lee said, quietly but sharply, with that trace of anger still in his voice. Kara could feel eyes on her again, but she wasn’t sure which Adama they belonged to. “I broke up with her, okay?” Frustration tinged Lee’s voice now. “She wasn’t,” he paused and Kara didn’t dare look up. He still hadn’t told her why he’d finally dumped Mandy, “…what I wanted after all.” This time, there was something in his voice that made Kara lift her head, but Lee wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were studying the tangled pile of noodles in front of him as if they held the answers to the world’s great mysteries. “Besides, I’m leaving in a few days anyway.”

“Yes. There’s no need for distraction. Lee has higher priorities now. Speaking of which, son, before graduation I want to take you around to meet some of my colleagues. I’ve already scheduled some appointments.”

“Without even asking me?” The sharp-edged anger peaked higher in Lee’s voice and she could feel his leg shaking, foot tapping the floor next to her.

This time the commander was the one to glower. “This is for your future. I’m sure any other extracurriculars you might be involved in can be put on hold for this.”

“For once we agree.” Caroline interjected dryly, signaling the waiter for more wine. She turned another cold look Kara’s way. “Whatever else you’re… _involved_  with can’t possibly be so important.”

“My gods, the two of you have no idea what is important to me! NONE!” Lee’s hands were gripping the table edge, hard enough that his knuckles were white. “All of my life it’s been, ‘Watch your brother, Lee. Get the best grades, Lee. Date the right girls, Lee. You’re going to the Academy, Lee’.”

He was yelling now and people -- the other diners and some of the wait staff too -- were looking. Ordinarily, Kara would be thrilled to see him let loose, he was always so damned controlled. But the look on his face as he shouted at his parents was too much. She reached out for his arm. “Lee, c’mon.” But he just shook her off, shooting up out of his chair, the legs making a loud screech on the floor.

“You were never around. Either of you. Not in any way that counted,” he took a deep breath, nostrils flaring, eyes flashing . “Neither of you have the slightest idea what I want because you never bothered to ask me. Because it didn’t matter to you.” His voice lowered to a growl as he leaned over the table, gritting out through locked teeth. “Because  _I_  didn’t—” The words choked off in his throat and he whirled suddenly, storming off towards the exit.

Kara watched him go for a moment then slowly pushed her own chair back and got to her feet. She looked across the table at his parents, both of whom were staring looking shell-shocked. Irritation flooded through her and she paused before turning away, knowing she would probably not be helping matters by saying anything but unable, as usual, to hold her tongue. “Lee works harder than anyone else I’ve ever met. Instead of being so worried about what kind of man he’s gonna become, maybe you could try being proud of the man he already is.”

She swiveled and headed for the exit, her footsteps echoing loudly in the now-hushed restaurant. Just as the door swung shut behind her, Kara heard Zak’s voice rise above the now-hushed restaurant. “Oh yeah, he’s totally banging her.” She rolled her eyes and looked around. Lee couldn’t have gone far. A minute later she spied him on a bench at the edge of the small park across the street.

Crossing over, she settled down on the bench next to him. His head was in his hands and when he looked up, his eyes were a bit red around the rims. Kara felt a sharp urge suddenly to touch him, squeeze his shoulder or smooth his hair (which was sticking up where it was still a little too long over his ear, she noticed now) or rub his back. Such gestures were not common to the Starbuck-Apollo relationship, but a day ago she might have said frak it and done it without much thought. She exhaled heavily wondering how much more frakked up things were gonna get.

Kara shifted, trapping her hands under her thighs and toed the ground with the scuffed tip of her boots. She didn’t usually stick around to deal with other people’s breakdowns. Kara tried to think of something to say that didn’t sound stupid or trite, but “Sorry your family are such jackasses, Apollo,” might not go over so well.

“I’m really sorry.” Of course, he beat her to it. But gods he sounded so broken. She inched closer, let her bent elbow poke into his arm.

“It wasn’t that bad,” she lied.

“C’mon, Kara. My mother was totally out of line. And I lost my temper, like I always frakking do.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m just- I should’ve known it’d be like that. They always—I’m sorry I dragged you along into my mess.”

“Right, ’cause I’ve never dragged  _you_  into any awkward situations.” His lips quirked a little at that. “Look, don’t sweat it, okay? I know better than anyone that you can’t pick your family, Lee. Trust me, if you could, I would’ve been first in that line.”

She reached into her jacket pocket for a cigar and her lighter. She bit the tip off, but had trouble getting it lit, with the brisk breeze in the air, until Lee reached up and cupped a hand around the end. His palm brushed the back of her wrist and Kara felt a shiver travel up her spine. It still took two more tries before she got it lit. As she exhaled, felt the sweet pull of the nicotine fill her lungs, Lee was staring at her. “You never talk about them.”

She looked at him, wary. “Your family, Kara. I mean, I’ve known you for three years and I only know the bare minimum. Your dad left when you were a kid. You traveled around a lot with your mom who was a major.”

“Sergeant-Major.” She corrected reflexively, then flicked some ashes into the dirt at her feet. “It’s not worth talking about.”

Lee looked at her skeptically. “What’s she like? How come she’s not coming up to watch you lead the flyby at graduation?”

Kara blinked hard, studying the ground again, her toe tracing circles within circles. There was enough curiosity in his voice that it made her want to get up and run. But she didn’t because this was Lee and clearly he knew from frakked up families and…well, if she couldn’t tell  _him_  about this, maybe she’d never be able to tell anyone. Kara took a long drag off the cigar and pushed her lips into an O, letting smoke rings waft into the cool air. The breeze blew them apart within seconds. “My mother’s favorite phrase was ‘Suffering is good for the soul.’ So she made sure I suffered. Broke all my fingers slamming the door shut on them when I was eight.”

Lee inhaled sharply then breathed her name out like someone had sucker-punched him. “Kara…”

“That was a highlight.” She told him some of the worst of it and Lee didn’t say anything more, just let her talk, like he knew if he stopped her that would be the end of it. But his hand dropped to the bench and inched closer and closer as she talked until his fingers brushed hers, his pinky hooking around her ring finger. “Anyway, I didn’t tell her about graduation because I don’t talk to her.” Steel crept into the words she bit off. “I don’t want to see her face ever again.”

His fingers curled tight around hers in a little squeeze and then Lee let go and reached up and stole the cigar out of her mouth. He took a long drag and sighed, the sweet smoke drifting out in a little cloud around them. For a minute, Kara wished it was solid, that they were really wrapped in some sort of protective little bubble that kept the rest of the world out.

“You know what? Families are overrated.” He shifted closer, his arm solid against hers and Kara let herself lean into him just a little.

“Yeah.” Kara reached over and stole the cigar back, taking a last puff before she dropped it at her feet and stubbed it out with her toe. “C’mon, we better go back before they send out an APB.” She reached a hand out to him and pulled him up off the bench. “Or worse, your brother.”

“But Kara, he’s your biggest fan.”

“Well, he is pretty cute.” Lee goggled at her and she smirked. “Maybe he can call me when he’s out of diapers.”

They paused to let the traffic pass before they crossed back over to the café and Lee turned to her with his best puppy dog face. “We really have to go back in?”

“Don’t whine, Apollo. If you’re good, I’ll take you out for coffee later.”

He crooked an eyebrow. “Just coffee, no dessert?”

“Who knows?” Kara shrugged. “Interesting things have been known to happen when you get overcaffeinated.” She winked and he laughed, as he swung open the door to the café for her.

Kara sailed past, one eye on Lee smiling in the bright sunlight, and thought maybe she’d been wrong, after all, about the picking your family bit.

Maybe family picked you.


	3. Just Desserts

“I’m gonna frakking kill him.”    
  
Lee tried not to roll his eyes. It was the ninth time she’d said it in less than five minutes and he was starting to get a complex.    
  
“C’mon Kara, is this really so bad?” He gestured to their surroundings. It was a nice restaurant; definitely nicer than any place Lee had ever taken a date. But Helo had said Diora was used to expensive things—her mother was a high-ranking official in the Tauron government. Karl had been after her all semester, but the only way she’d agree to go out with him was in a group, so Lee and Kara had been drafted.    
  
Secretly, Lee fancied himself a bit of a gourmand—and he’d been hearing raves about this place for months—so it definitely wasn’t a hardship eating haute cuisine and drinking good red wine on Helo’s dime. Kara, however, had been miserable since they got there. And her mood had turned worse ever since the others had scuttled outside for some “fresh air” as soon as the dinner plates were cleared. He eyed her, slumped as far away as possible on the small banquette, practically hugging the wall.    
  
“Frak yes.” She scowled.    
  
“Is it the dress?”    
  
“NO,” she snapped, even as her hands reached for the hem of the slinky black sheath and tugged it down to cover more of her thighs. He still had no idea how Karl had convinced her to wear it. Lee had been knocked out when she’d showed up at Helo’s room earlier; between the dress and the heels (he hadn’t ever even dared to imagine Kara “Starbuck” Thrace in such a getup), he’d only been able to stare. Kara had brushed by him, knocking his shoulder hard and hissing, “Not a word, Adama.” The scent of cinnamon had instantly invaded his nostrils and then he was so busy remembering how to breathe that the idea of actually forming coherent speech was pretty ludicrous.    
  
In fact, he was still stunned twenty minutes later when Helo had caught him gawking in the rearview mirror and suggested he shut his mouth before he started catching flies. Lee was pretty sure he’d seen Kara smirking in the reflection of the car window at that though.   
  
She grabbed her wineglass now and took a long swallow. “Where the hell are they? I don’t plan on staying here all night with you while they get their rocks off.”    
  
The derision in her tone stung. Kara had been biting his head off all day. He couldn’t understand what had happened. She’d been just fine at lunch with his family yesterday, but had barely uttered a civil word to him in the roughly 30 hours since. And he was getting frakking sick of it. “What exactly is your problem, Kara? You have been a raging bitch all day.”    
  
She glared at him. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she crooned, her voice dripping with false sincerity. “Is my bad attitude disrupting your perfect little world, Lee?”    
  
He frowned, confused. “What the hell are you talking about?” he nearly shouted. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw several diners and a few servers, look his way disapprovingly. Lee lowered his voice, trying to rein in his temper. “Look, I have no idea what this is about or what I did to piss you off so much, but I’ve only got five days left, Kara, so—”    
  
Her head snapped towards him, eyes wild. “You think I don’t frakking know that? Like I could forget that the only—” she stopped suddenly, her face shutting down faster than the Mark VI sim over at the base. Kara quickly snapped her mouth closed and crossed her arms over her chest. The movement made her look about ten years old and Lee rubbed his forehead wearily, feeling tired suddenly.    
  
“Kara,” he tried again, his voice softer now.    
  
“No. No don’t.” She said, wincing as she unfolded her arms and reached up to run a hand through her hair. “Don’t go getting all understanding on me,” she hissed like it was a dirty word. “I just…” she paused, blowing out a hard breath. “My head’s just all messed up lately. I can’t stop thinking about the stupidest, most impossible things and it’s pissing me off.”    
  
Lee raised an eyebrow, wondering if her impossible things were the same impossible things he’d been fantasizing about for the past few weeks. “Do you… do you want to talk about it?”    
  
She looked at him in horror. “No, absolutely not. Let’s just forget it, okay. Move on.” Kara stuck out a hand. “Truce?”    
  
He sighed, but reached out anyway, closing his hand over hers. “Truce.” They shook but when Kara tried to pull back Lee just tightened his grasp on her. Struck by a devilish urge, he trapped her thumb with his and smirked. Kara gaped and then grinned, already wriggling her thumb out from under his and trying to pin him. They battled for several minutes with no clear victor (their typical outcome) and finally called it a draw.    
  
“Well, that’s one way to kill the time. Shoulda brought a frakking triad deck.”    
  
Lee looked at his watch and just shrugged. “It’s been ten minutes. They’ll probably be back soon.”    
  
Kara shook her head. “No way, we’ve got another 30 at best.”    
  
“Why do you say that?”    
  
She didn’t answer, just reached for her drink. He did the same and barely caught her mumble into her glass, “Helo likes it slow.”    
  
He choked on his wine and stared at her, incredulous. “You and Karl—”    
  
Slowly she turned to him, lips pursed. “A few times, back in boot camp.” He could only blink, pretty sure those flies would have no trouble wandering in again should they happen by. “What?!” Kara rolled her eyes. “Gods, you are such a prude. It’s a frakking miracle you aren’t still a virgin.”    
  
Lee felt his face heat up. “I just happen to think there’s nothing wrong with being discerning.”    
  
She just stared at him and he could swear he saw hurt flash in those big hazel eyes for a moment. “Discerning, huh?” She tilted her head sarcastically and stared at him for a minute, before she smiled harshly. “Right. Because Lee Adama wouldn’t want to do anything he might regret.” Kara faced forward again and upended the last dregs from the wine bottle into her glass.    
  
Lee stared at her, hurt and confused. He wondered if that was another reference to what had happened…or rather almost happened between them in his room the other night. He'd stopped apologizing, but he still wondered, in vivid detail, what might have happened had he not felt the need for a sixth cup of coffee. He opened his mouth to respond, but his voice refused to kick in. They didn’t talk about things like this. The silence grew tangible in the room as Kara gulped more wine. Lee debated how to proceed, trying to come up with something—anything—to say, but just when he opened his mouth to speak, she beat him to it.    
  
“I don’t see what the big deal is anyway, it’s just sex.” The trace of anger he’d heard before was gone now; she was all cool casualness. “It feels good, you do it. Simple as that.”    
  
“Simple.” He couldn’t help the sigh that slipped out. “Right.”    
  
“Your problem,” she said, gesturing towards him with her now half-empty wineglass, “is that you think too much. Sex is easy. Part A fits into Part B. A little ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,’ and everyone goes home happy.”    
  
He rolled his eyes. “You’re a real romantic, you know that?”    
  
“Oh right, you need the romance. Well,” she shrugged, “maybe you should take your next date here.” Kara waved at the thick velvet curtains enclosing their booth, the lit candles, and fresh flowers on every table. “A little dinner, some intelligent conversation and then maybe she’ll go down on you in the parking lot like little Miss Holier-Than-Thou.”    
  
Lee winced.    
  
She shrugged. “Karl has shitty taste in women.” He raised an eyebrow, and she glared at him. “Present company excluded of course.” They both looked up when the waiter came to their table holding a tray with a small pot on it.    
  
“We’ll take another.” She said to him, holding up the empty wine bottle.    
  
“Kara, that wine is 200 cubits a bottle!” Lee hissed.    
  
“Serves him right for making us play chaperone and then leaving us to our own devices.” She smiled, all charm and innocence at the server. The waiter just nodded stiffly, laid down the bowl he was carrying, and stepped away. Her eyes widened with curiosity at the bowl. “What the hell is that?”    
  
Lee leaned forward and peered into the pot filled with dark, bubbling liquid. A tray with fruit and cookies surrounded it. “It’s fondue.”    
  
Kara just looked blankly at him.    
  
“It’s chocolate. Try it.”    
  
She scooted a little closer and looked into the little bowl. Her brow was furrowed, her eyes suspicious. He sighed and speared a strawberry with his fork, dipping it into the pot of melted chocolate. Lee lifted the fork towards Kara. She leaned closer and sniffed it, then her eyes widened and she grabbed the fork and bit into the strawberry. She moaned and closed her eyes as she chewed the ripe fruit. “That’s amazing.”    
  
Lee couldn’t tear his gaze away from her mouth and lips and jaw; he thought it was pretty amazing too.    
  
Kara opened her eyes and slid closer, pulling the pot of chocolate towards her. Her bare leg pressed up against his from hip to ankle and Lee could feel the heat of her skin through the thin material of his dress pants.    
  
“You want some?” she muttered, mouth full.    
  
He shook his head, watching as she tore into the food. Kara attacked her meals with abandon, the same way she did everything else. It was quite a sight to behold. He eyed her as she tilted the pot, scooping more chocolate out of the bottom with her spoon. The utensil made a loud scraping noise against the metallic bowl. “You gonna lick it clean too?”    
  
She didn’t lift her head, just made an indistinguishable noise.    
  
“You know you have the table manners of a wild boar.”    
  
Kara rested the bowl back on the table, her spoon stilled. There was a little smile on her face and Lee couldn’t resist teasing her. “Well that certainly put you in a better mood. If I’d known chocolate had that kind of effect, I would’ve made sure to keep some in my pocket at all times.” He smirked. “You know, like they do with the animals at the zoo.”    
  
She made a face and stuck her tongue out at him.    
  
A mature response like that deserved an equally adult comeback. “You have chocolate on your face.” Lee gestured, and Kara licked her lips, then extended her tongue, trying to get at the chocolate. He shook his head and she picked up her napkin and swiped at her face. That only managed to smear the melted confectionary in a line down her cheek. She looked at him expectantly. “No, it’s—” he reached out tentatively, his hand faltering with indecision, and Kara sighed and thrust her face towards him. “Just get it off.”    
  
Lee drew his thumb gently up the swell of her cheek scooping up the chocolate, trying not to think about how soft her skin felt under his fingers. He started to pull his hand back, but Kara grabbed his wrist, studying him. Her face changed, like she’d decided something and she tugged his hand toward her mouth. “Don’t waste it.” She grinned once wickedly. Then she locked her gaze on his and slowly licked the chocolate off his hand, the tip of her tongue curling around his thumb.    
  
His eyes went wide and his mouth went dry. Lee swallowed hard and Kara giggled. She actually giggled.    
  
“OK, You’re cut off. I think you’ve had enough.” He pulled his hand back, reaching for her wine glass but she managed to catch the stem and twist away, leaning back on the bench even as he leaned forward to reach for the goblet.    
  
Kara raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I’m just getting started, Lee.” She was almost horizontal now, and when she tilted her head back to finish off the wine a little stream of the expensive liquid missed her mouth and trickled down her jaw.    
  
Suddenly, Lee was very aware of the fact that he was hovering over her, one hand planted on the leather cushion by her hip, the other closed around the wineglass and her fingers. His heart started pounding and his blood was running hot and he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the droplet of wine sliding down the side of Kara’s throat. His brain started whispering traitorous ideas about turnabout being fair play and his gaze flicked upwards to find her watching him with something dangerously close to anticipation. Kara’s lips, red and shining from the drink, parted slightly and she shuddered a warm little breath.    
  
A strange feeling swept over him and he had the sensation of moving before he was actually doing it. It was not unlike vertigo. But then he was moving, leaning his head into the crook of her neck and stopping the little droplet with his tongue, licking its trail back up her throat and jaw, all the way to the corner of her mouth. Lee’s brain was fuzzy, like it was wrapped in cotton wool, and Kara’s shocked stare gazed back at him when he looked at her. Slowly, he pulled back, glass still in hand and Kara let go. He set it on the table and shifted to sit upright. “It’s expensive.” He murmured, facing forward again, yet feeling incredibly foolish and incredibly hopeful at the same time. “Shouldn’t waste it.”    
  
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kara slowly sit up, still staring at him with those wide confused eyes. He froze, uncomfortable enough that he couldn’t look at her, and felt a flush spreading up the side of his neck. Then, just when the air started to feel like it was choking him, she leaned forward swiftly, lips fusing to his. Her hands pushed him back into the banquette. Her mouth was warm and spicy and sweet all at once, tasting of wine and chocolate. Lee couldn’t move, just opened his mouth wider, his tongue catching on faster than the rest of his body, licking at her lips and driving past her teeth.    
  
His neck was tilted at a vicious angle and his hands clenched suddenly with the need to touch Kara, to have her closer. Lee slid his hands down her back and under her thighs and hauled her onto his lap. Kara’s hands settled on his shoulders and she rose up on her knees, straddling him. It dimly flickered through his addled brain that this was not the place for such activity. But his head thudded back against the cushion behind him as she crashed her mouth down on his again. Lee reached out, groping for the curtain, pulling it shut. It was the best he could do. He had far more important issues at hand than dignity.    
  
They kissed, practically devouring each other, until Lee thought his lungs might burst if he didn’t suck in some air immediately. He drew back, panting hard, and Kara dropped her forehead to his for just a minute, her breath coming in hard bursts against his temple, before sinking back on her haunches. Slowly, she raised her eyes, fear and suspicion etched into her face. “What are we doing? Do you want—” she broke off. She lowered her head and spoke in a quieter voice. “Are you sure this time?”    
  
Lee felt a sharp pull in his chest and—despite the fact that his first instinct was to reassure her how much he wanted this, wanted her and had for a long time now—the words that came out of his mouth were, shockingly, not those words at all. “It’s only sex, right, Kara?”    
  
It was like someone else had taken over his brain. He cringed inwardly before he even finished saying her name, but she didn’t shove him or slap him or even climb off him. She just exhaled slowly, and her hands which had been digging into his shoulders, relaxed, and when he looked up at Kara, she wasn’t upset at all. In fact, a slow smile was spreading over her face and there was a particularly devilish look in her eyes.    
  
“Right. Simple.” She twisted around quickly, grabbing something from the table. She turned back holding a strawberry covered in chocolate, which she dangled in front of his mouth, smirking at him. Lee opened obediently and she fed him the fruit. Her fingers, also chocolate-dipped, lingered—tracing across his lips as he chewed and swallowed the sweet dessert.    
  
Kara pulled her hand back, then leaned forward again to kiss him, rising up on her knees. He slid his hands down, skimming them up the back of her thighs, tracing circles on the soft skin there with his fingertips, just under the hem of her dress. Her mouth was slippery against his from the chocolate and he sucked on her lips, even as his hands wandered higher, brushing the curve of her buttocks.    
  
Lee felt the scratch of lace against his knuckles and was momentarily confused. He opened his hands, molded them to her backside and ran his fingers over decidedly non-regulation underwear. An image seized his brain of Kara in nothing but this scrap of lace under his grasping fingers and he immediately stiffened and groaned.    
  
Kara chuckled against his mouth. “Laundry day. Had to settle for these. You like?” He kissed her, slipping his thumbs under the elastic edging in response. A thrill shot through him as his fingers pressed between her legs and found her wet for him already. She let out a sharp little sound, a purring “Ohhhhh” when he squeezed her in his hands, two fingers slipping in and parting the slick folds. Kara’s hands flexed on his shoulders and she sunk down, her knees splaying a little wider as she rocked back into his touch.    
  
Pulling his head back, he watched her face, eyes shut tightly, lips parted, as he stroked her slowly. Her hands slipped down to his chest, palms pressing against his nipples, fingers pinching him lightly through his shirt. It hurt just a little, enough to let him know that he had to move faster. Lee pulled his hands out from under the lace then skated them over her hips, rucking the skirt of her dress up as he reached higher and hooked the underwear with his fingers, pushing it down her spread thighs as far as he could.    
  
Quick on the uptake as usual, Kara slid back off the cushions, her heels tapping hard onto the floor, and stepped between his thighs. She tilted forward, leaning against his torso, in the limited space between the booth and the table’s edge. She reached down, hands brushing his as she helped push the panties to the floor, kicking them aside before climbing back on his lap. He was hard under her soft flesh already, and when she reached for his zipper and tugged it down, slipping a hand into his pants and closing it around him, Lee bit his lip so hard he nearly drew blood. Her fingers curled around him, squeezing and stroking, and he gasped. “Kara, wait. Not—“ he shuddered as she ghosted a thumb across the head, “here. We should go—” he lost his thoughts completely as she fisted him hard from base to tip once.    
  
“So you can change your mind again?” Her voice was bitter and twisted on the last word. “No! You want me.” Her hand squeezed around him again and his hips surged up involuntarily. She lowered her head, lips pressing kisses down the side of his face, mouth nipping at his earlobe, and whispered, “and I want you. I need you. Inside me. Right now, godsdammit.” He opened his mouth to explain, that he didn’t change his mind before, that he just got scared because he wanted her so frakking much and he’s pretty sure now that he always will, for the rest of his life probably, but he can’t say those things because that would probably send her running.    
  
And he was too far gone anyway. She was already pushing down on his shoulders, lifting herself up over him, and positioning him between her thighs. He felt the yielding heat of her core envelop just the tip of him and skipped a breath. Kara’s hands came up and cupped his face and her eyes bore into his. Lee thought briefly that there was a desperation in them that he didn’t recognize, even as she sunk down, taking him into her body until he was sheathed completely.    
  
All of the urgency was gone suddenly, and in its place was a fervent desire that time stand still, stop completely and eternally in this one moment. It felt like he’d been waiting for this his whole life, even though it’d only been a few weeks that he even dared to think about Kara like this, but it was so overwhelming he could only wrap his arms around her, tight, as if she might escape if he didn’t hold on. Lee could feel her trembling in his arms, or maybe it was him, and he dropped his head to her shoulder, turning his face into the warm, fragrant skin at her throat. Kara’s hands brushed the nape of his neck, sliding up through his hair and she was saying his name, softly, over and over, like a chant. His mouth opened against her skin, kissing and suckling and needing to taste her, to experience her with every sense in this one moment.    
  
Her stomach expanded against his as she drew in a deep breath. And then she moved. Slowly, she rocked up a few inches, then slid down. She flexed up again and this time his hips surged up too, following the sweet warmth of her body. Lee slid one hand down to brace on the small of her back and reached out to grip the table’s edge with the other as they moved together in quick sharp thrusts. A soft little breathy grunt passed Kara’s lips each time they came back together and he focused on the sound, determined to make this last.    
  
The light in the shadowed booth grew brighter for a second and Lee thought maybe he heard a gasp that came from neither himself nor Kara. But he was so beyond caring what happened outside of the circle of their bodies that he couldn’t be bothered to open his eyes. Instead, he ducked his head again, lips traveling over the soft swell of her shoulder, even as he lifted, pushing into her with a jolt. He wanted more so he reached up to the thin strap of her dress and tugged it down her arm, until he could slip his hand into the loose material and cup her breast. Lowering his mouth, he lapped at the soft skin, feeling her nipple pebble and harden against his tongue. Kara gripped his arms, short nails gouging into his biceps, and he closed his mouth over the tip of her breast, suckling hard. She cried out and he felt her convulse around him suddenly, muscles clenching tight again and again. He slithered his hands down to clutch her hips and bucked up, trying to drive as deep as possible before he burst, spilling himself inside her in a rush of relief and euphoria.    
  
The sound of their breathing was loud in the silence of the enclosed booth. He lifted his head to look at Kara, but she was already watching him, eyes dark and inscrutable. Then she smiled and he immediately recognized it as an impostor, stretched too wide and falling off her face too quickly, as she moved to climb off him. She reached for the cloth napkins on the table, tossing one to him, even as she swiped at herself and tugged her dress down her thighs again.    
  
Lee was stunned, his brain reeling as he tried to catch up. He was also sitting there exposed and vulnerable and he realized, with a shock, that Helo and his date could be back any moment. He made judicious use of the napkin, adjusted his clothing and zipped up again. (He shoved both napkins in his back pocket, so the poor waiter wouldn’t get a nasty surprise.)    
  
“Well, that definitely felt good. We should try that again sometime.” Kara calmly reached for the wine bottle, refilling her glass and taking a long swallow. She wasn’t looking at him and Lee was torn. He wanted to grab her, make her face him and wipe that nonchalance off her face. He wanted to tell her it’d been amazing. That his entire world had been rocked off its axis. That he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to close his eyes again without seeing the look in her eyes as she slid down over him. But he was still having trouble believing it had happened. It hadn’t been the way he’d wanted it, or ever could have imagined it, but the fact that Kara wanted it to happen again was mind-blowing and the promise of it kept him from saying any of that.    
  
Kara had said sex was simple, so Lee was going to try to keep it that way, even if it killed him. It would be worth it. He was wracking his brain for a response that was casual enough when Helo pulled the curtains open and he and his date piled into the other side of the booth.    
  
“Sorry, guys, that took a little longer than we thought. Hope you weren’t too bored while we were gone.” Helo grinned at them.    
  
“We managed to amuse ourselves.” Kara said dryly, shooting a sly glance at Lee. He prayed he wasn’t blushing.    
  
Helo raised an eyebrow, a suspicious look creeping over his face.    
  
“We had dessert.” Kara smiled innocently in return.    
  
Diora looked at the empty fondue pot on the table, a little crestfallen expression on her patrician face. “Oh, you finished it.”    
  
“Sorry.” Lee said. “One little taste and she went kind of insane for it.” He coughed into his hand to cover the chuckle that he couldn’t contain.    
  
Kara spluttered into her wineglass. “Uh, correct me if I was wrong, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself there too, Apollo.” She smirked, her eyes sparkling.    
  
“Yeah, but you’re the one who asked for seconds.” Her mouth fell open and her arm shot out, elbow gouging into his stomach. He hunched over, holding his side, owing and laughing. “Fine, fine. It was good.” Kara glared at him. “Great, I mean” he amended, looking straight at her with a lopsided smile, his tone changing from boisterous amusement to hushed sincerity. “Amazing. Mind-blowing. Best I ever had.”    
  
This time, when she smiled, it was genuine and just for him, and his heart swelled a little to be back on familiar ground. She broke the gaze and turned to Helo. “I’m still a little keyed up from all that sugar actually. I think I’ll walk back to the base.”    
  
“It’s kind of late, Kara.” Helo frowned. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea?”    
  
Lee felt Kara press her ankle to his under the table. “I’ll go with her. Make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.” He stood up and slid out of the booth with Kara close behind. “Thanks for dinner, Karl. Nice to meet you Diora.”    
  
Kara gave him a little push in front of her. “Let’s go, Apollo. Move ‘em out,” she lowered her voice and whispered in his ear, “before the bill comes and he sees I ordered a second bottle.” She turned her head and winked over her shoulder at Karl. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”    
  
Kara twisted around again and eyed him with a wicked grin as they walked away from the booth. “Maybe we’ll stop for seconds on the way home. I have a big appetite, you know.”    
  
Lee grinned. He was counting on it.    
  
****    
  
Helo and Diora stared after them, Kara’s laughter ringing through the now quiet restaurant. “I thought you said they weren’t a couple?” Diora looked at him, puzzled.    
  
Helo shrugged. “They’re not. They’re just….Starbuck and Apollo.” Her pretty brow furrowed in misunderstanding. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t really understand them either.” He kissed her, and was just starting to get into it when a throat was cleared loudly at his side. Karl looked up into the disapproving face of the waiter, who handed him the check silently, then disappeared.    
  
He looked at the bill, doing a double take at the charge for the second wine bottle and inwardly cursing Starbuck. He made a mental note to totally fleece her at the next triad tournament, even as he was digging in his pocket for his wallet. Karl pulled it out with a little too much force and it flipped out of his hand under the table. He reached for the floor, feeling around with his fingers and snagged something that was definitely not his wallet.    
  
He crouched, poking his head under the table, and found a pair of black lace underwear lying on the expensive carpet. What the frak? he thought. Then he considered for a moment the closed curtain, the grins on their faces, the weird conversation about dessert and the speed with which they’d hightailed it out of there. No. There was no way. For one thing, Kara wouldn’t wear anything like this. Though he didn’t ever think he’d see her in that dress and heels she’d been wearing tonight either. But if Helo had been stunned when she’d swept into his room earlier, Adama had been nearly catatonic with shock. Poor bastard had stared at her all the way to the restaurant too. He grinned. And when Karl had dropped his fork earlier, there definitely hadn’t been a pair of women’s underwear on the floor. Maybe…    
  
“Hey, are you alright under there?” Helo snagged the scrap of lace, stuffing it into his pocket, and picked up his wallet.    
  
“Sorry.” He shook the leather wallet at her. “Slippery little bugger.” Karl smiled, laying on the charm just a little. As he paid the bill, trying not to wince at the total, he thought again about what kind of fun he could have with this. Walking out of the restaurant, he slung an arm around Diora and couldn’t help from grinning. All in all, a nice dinner and two bottles of Caprica’s finest red wine was a small price to pay for this kind of dirt. 


	4. Bound & Determined

_  
Swish._

Slowly regaining consciousness, Kara batted a sleepy hand at her nose.

 _Swish. Swish._

It tickled. She grunted and swiped again, her fingers brushing only skin. “Mmpfh. Frak off,” she muttered, and rolled over on to her side. She was just falling under again, when she felt the strange sensation once more and her eyes flew open. A blurry silhouette loomed over her and Kara shrieked and shot up, scrambling back against the wall. Then she blinked and recognized him. “YOU MOTHERFRAKKER!”

Helo was doubled up beside the bed, clutching his gut, nearly weeping with laughter. “My gods, Kara, your face!” He wheezed, gripping the mattress and hauling himself up to sit on the edge. “Oh, that was priceless.”

She was scowling now. “Real amusing, Helo. How’d you get in here anyway?”

“Door was unlocked.” Kara frowned. That was odd. She was always pretty good about locking the door at night. Especially since her roommate had transferred out after the first month. Kara might be strong, but she wasn’t crazy. Crap, she must have been more out of it last night than she thought. “You should be more careful, you know. You’re lucky I’m not some pervert looking to get his jollies.”

She looked at him in confusion. “You’re not?”

“Oh, frak you!”

Kara laughed and he raised an eyebrow. “Hey, wait. You’re awake and cracking jokes at 0900 on the last Sunday of term? Someone’s in a good mood this morning,” Karl smirked at her. “You have fun last night?”

Kara froze in the middle of a stretch and looked at him, eyes wide. Did Helo suspect? Nah, he couldn’t. She scooted to the edge of the bed, hoping she wasn’t blushing and stood up. Thankfully she’d thrown on a tank and underwear before she’d hit the sack last night. Or, this morning rather. She almost grinned at the thought. It had been a long night.

Scooping a pair of jeans off the heap on the floor, Kara made a note to hang the mostly clean clothes up later as she spied her dress uniform in the pile. “Yeah, sure. Dinner was good.” Kara pulled the jeans up her hips and buttoned them. She flashed him a grin and deflected. “Guess I don’t need to ask if you had fun what with all that…” she paused dramatically “ _fresh air_  you were getting Karl.”

He leaned back on her bed resting his shoulders against the wall and folding his arms behind his head and grinning wide. “Oh I did, but uh…I don’t think I was the only one.” He reached into a pocket suddenly, pulled out a dark ball and tossed it at her. It hit her in the chest and Kara reached out to snag it on a reflex. She looked at the lacy fabric in her hands and gulped.  _Frak_. Busted.

She looked at Helo, who was practically beaming now from ear to ear. “Something you want to tell me ’Buck?”

She lifted a shoulder halfheartedly. “Nothing to tell.”

He raised his eyebrows and folded his arms over his chest, just looking at her.

“OK, fine, fine. I guess… we should talk about it.” Kara looked at him balefully and stepped over to sink down next to him on the bed. “But I don’t want it to be awkward between us. You are my best friend and all.”

He watched her, face solemn. “Yeah I am, Kara. And hey,” he lowered his head, to look her in the eye, “you should know that you can talk to me about anything.”

She smiled tentatively and reached out to gently place a hand on his shoulder. “I’m…I’m really glad you feel that way.” Kara frowned, smoothing out the black lace thong in her hands and holding it up. “Because If this is the kind of underwear you’re sporting these days, Karl, you’ve really got a problem.” She shook her head disapprovingly, clucking her tongue for all of about 30 seconds, before her face twisted and she started giggling.

Karl just glared at her, shaking his head. “Oh real funny, Thrace.” He watched her as she bit back her grin, trying to compose herself again. “C’mon Kara, spill it. You and Apollo? Seriously?”

“Oh, what’s the big deal? And why the frak did you say it like that?”

He shook his head in wonder. “I just never thought the two of you would finally get your shit together. You’ve been dancing around each other since our freshman year and you wait till now to start something?”

She stood up, feeling fidgety and uncomfortable under Helo’s disbelieving gaze suddenly. Kara balled the underwear up and tossed it towards the pile on the floor. “We’re not starting anything, not really.”

He frowned. “So it was a one-time only thing? That’s it?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.” Maybe….except they’d done it three times on the way home, the last up against a tree and the bark had scratched the hell out of her ass. They’d finally stumbled back to the dorm at 0330 and the only reason she hadn’t dragged him back to her room with her was because he’d had a meeting this morning with his advisor and insisted on actually sleeping. “It’s not like we had a long discussion about it.”

“Kara, are you sure about this?”

She rolled her eyes. “What’s with the inquisition?”

He shrugged. “I just…I hope you know what you’re doing here.”

“That’s kind of rich coming from you, Agathon.” She fisted her hands on her hips, irritated. “You’ve docked your ship in every port this side of Picon.”

“This is a little different, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, well, I’m no blushing virgin. I think I can handle it.” If Helo had a girl in every port, well Kara’d had her share of bar conquests. In fact, she had a few ground rules when it came to her sex life: Don’t get attached, don’t get too comfortable, and always, always, be the one to leave first.

“But can he? Adama’s a good guy but he’s not like us, Kara. He dated what’s-her-face with the helium voice for nine months. Anyone else would’ve shot themselves in the head to be rid of her in a week.”

Kara bristled at the thought of Lee’s ex-girlfriend Mandy. Girl had grated on her from the first day she met her. “Your point, Karl?”

He stood up and moved closer to Kara, resting a hand on her shoulder. “My point is that Lee isn’t a casual sex kind of guy. He’s gonna want more.”

A warm rush surged in her stomach at Helo’s words, but Kara tamped it down. Because Karl was wrong. She shrugged off his touch, walking over to her desk for no particular reason. “Well, he’s leaving in a few days anyway, so what does it matter?”

“Yeah he is. And you’ll still be here. “ He leveled earnest eyes at her. “Kara, I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Kara bit her lip. “I won’t,” she grinned brightly, just a few seconds late. “I can handle this.”

He looked at her for a long minute, then just shook his head and changed the subject. Karl left a few minutes later and Kara tried to focus, forget the whole stupid conversation and get some stuff done. She reached for her laundry bag and walked over to the mounds of clothes strewn around her bed and desk, starting to shove them in. Two handfuls later, she snagged the black underwear from the previous night and paused.

Crap. What if Helo was right and this really was a bad idea? What if Lee regretted it this morning? Or what if he didn’t regret it and he really did want more? Kara wasn’t sure which would be worse. She’d never been so confused—never been confused about sex  _at all_. The last couple of days had been surreal; nothing made any sense any more.

Kara had wanted Lee Adama instantly, from the first moment she met him, when he’d climbed out of the simulator after she’d handily blew his ass up three times in a row and shaken her hand with a grin that was part-admiration, part-aggravation. Those first few weeks, she had flirted outrageously, even made an obvious pass or two, but he’d never taken the bait. And when he’d started dating some rich girl from the nursing college across town, Kara figured she’d just read too much into the way he looked at her sometimes, like his eyes might burn right through her. By then, the two of them and Helo were already fairly inseparable, and she’d been okay with that. Kara had never gone wanting for sexual partners, but friends were harder to come by.

So she’d been completely blindsided when he’d kissed her the other night. Then when he’d shrugged it off immediately, Kara had figured it was a fluke, that everything would just go back to normal, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it. And the fact that he’d be gone soon and it really would be too late. That must have been what possessed her to pull that little stunt at the restaurant with licking that chocolate off his hand. Well, that and the better part of a bottle of Caprica’s best red wine. Not that she regretted it. Last night had been amazing. Maybe—

She was jolted out of her heavy thinking when a pair of well-muscled arms encircled her waist, pulling her back against a hard chest, just as warm, wet lips tickled the back of her neck. “Miss me?” Lee’s voice was low and muffled against her skin.

Kara couldn’t stop the grin that curved her lips, warmth rushing through her and bubbling in her chest as he squeezed her. Without pausing for thought, she twisted in his arms and twined her own around his neck. “Mmm. How was the meeting?”

Lee’s eyes sparkled as he leaned in and kissed her. “Terrible. And it’s all your fault.”

She pulled back and quirked an eyebrow at him. “My fault?”

He nodded and pulled her even closer, lips brushing up over her jaw, along her cheek, to the corner of her mouth. “Yeah” he murmured, sounding breathless, “because the only thing I could think about the whole time was when I would get to touch you again.”

A delighted shiver skated up her spine at the words.  _This should be weird_ , Kara thought. They had changed overnight from platonic friends to insatiable lovers and the difference should have been strange and awkward and overwhelming. Hell, even with Karl things had been strange for a bit, and that had been entirely different. She hadn’t felt this…this kind of insane, continual hunger that suddenly seemed as normal to her as breathing. It felt comfortable. It felt…right. 

Lee nipped impatiently at her bottom lip and she opened to him automatically. He licked into her mouth, hands sliding down her back to press her tighter against him. Kara hitched a leg high against his hip and he grasped the back of her thigh, fingers pressing hard through the denim. She kissed him hard, her head tilted, nose flattened into his cheek until she nearly couldn’t breathe. Good lords, she could do this all day.

But just when she started feeling a little lightheaded, he pulled back, breathing hard. “You are driving me insane, you know that right? I mean literally, insane. I don’t have a clue what I said in that meeting. He kept staring at me like I had two heads.”

She sucked in a breath and brought her hand up to his face, grinning as she traced her fingers over his throat. “Maybe he was just distracted by that monster hickey on your neck?”

“What?!” Lee clapped a hand to his neck, and turned, taking a few steps over to the desk to look in the mirror hanging above it. “My Gods, Kara! Are you part vampire? This thing is huge.”

“I may have gotten a little carried away last night.” She shrugged. “Didn’t you see it this morning?”

“I was in a rush!” he said, fingers poking at the vivid red mark on his neck.

“Oh, well, that explains a lot actually.” Kara said, nodding solemnly.

“It does?” he turned and looked at her suspiciously.

“Yeah.” She smirked. “I guess you really don’t look in the mirror when you get dressed in the morning.”

He narrowed his eyes and walked back towards her. “Is that a crack about my clothes, Starbuck?”

She snorted. “Let’s just thank the Lords of Kobol that the Colonial Fleet requires uniforms, Apollo.”

“Oh really?” Lee raised an eyebrow

“Real—” she cut off with a squeak, as Lee ducked and grabbed her by the legs, hefting her over his shoulder. Kara was laughing and squealing. “Lee. LEE! Put me down damnit.” He threw her on the bed and dropped down over her, trapping her between his arms and legs. Kara’s giggles turned into a sigh as he lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers again. 

“I can’t believe we didn’t do this before," he murmured. "Why didn’t we do this before?”

“Because we’re frakking idiots?”

“Right. We have to make up for lost time. We’re not leaving this room—maybe not even this bed—for the next three days.”

“Yeah? That’s gonna get messy.”

“We’ll deal. We’re on borrowed time here.”

He shut her up by kissing her again, but the words echoed in her head.  _Borrowed time_. In a week this would all be a memory. Lee would be gone. Kara would be here, stuck working some crappy summer job and counting the days until she could come back to the Academy, where at least she’d have Helo and Lee…except…Lee wouldn’t be there. It all slammed into her at once and she jerked her head back suddenly, her eyes flying open even as she pushed against Lee’s chest.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I….just…. maybe we should stop. Slow down.” She ran a shaky hand through her hair, heart still racing. “Maybe pulling 3Gs right out the launch tube is a bad idea.”

Lee slid back, sitting up and watching her, concerned. “Slow down?” he blinked. “Uh, okay. But…” Lee looked at her, confusion etched on his face. “What’s the problem? Are you….having regrets?”

Kara stared up at him, wishing she knew how to answer that. She didn’t have regrets…yet… but she was worried that she would. Or worse, that he would when the novelty wore off. “I just think maybe we should set some ground rules, you know.”

He shook his head, a hint of amusement on his face now. “You? The girl with the Academy record for the most days spent in hack is worried about rules suddenly?”

She shrugged, even though he had a point. Maybe that was a little strange coming from her. Hell, she couldn’t think straight anymore. She scrubbed a hand over her face.

“Kara, look, I’ve never done this before, OK? I don’t have one-night stands. I’ve never been the kind of guy who could say ‘frak it’ and just…just act, without thinking about it.”

She sighed and rolled her head to the side. This was it. He’d come to his senses. Decided he didn’t want her after all. It almost felt good, sort of like relief anyway. She’d been waiting for the shoe to drop since they’d stumbled out of the restaurant last night.

But Lee’s hands were cupping her face now and turning it back to his, as he leaned down to her, mere inches between them. She blinked, having nowhere to look but right into his eyes. “But I’m glad I did. Because whatever this is between us, it’s amazing. I’ve never felt like this before.”

She felt the relief rush through her for real this time and Kara whispered. “Neither have I.”

He smiled, softly, and dropped another inch, nudging her nose with his a little. “We can slow down. Take our time. Whatever you want.” He pulled back a little, eyes locking intently with hers. “But I wasn’t kidding about the time I have left, Kara. I don’t want to waste it.” His voice dropped to a rough whisper and he brought his head down to hers, lips brushing the shell of her ear. “I want to spend it with you. Touching you. Tasting you. Making love to you.” The intensity of his words made her whole body quiver with need, even though the intimacy should have made her pause. This was why they needed ground rules, she thought. Because when he said something like that it was damn difficult to think of him as just another frak buddy. But before she could tell him any of that, he killed her. “ _Please, Kara._ ”

Her hands flew to his face this time, catching his mouth and kissing him. It was soft and sweet and not the kind of kiss you’d give someone you were having a torrid affair with, but it felt right. Kara’s own words came back to her, her voice telling Lee,  _“It feels good, you do it. Simple as that.”_  Maybe she should take her own advice and stop overcomplicating it. Being with Lee felt good. Maybe it could really be that simple. She broke the kiss and laid her head back on the pillow, smiling at him.

“Was that a yes?”

“That was a ‘Less talking, more doing.’ “

 “Thank gods.” He grinned and it was a beautiful thing. He should really smile more often. She could work on that. “I was prepared to beg, you know.”

“Mmm. I’ll remember that for later.” She tugged his face down so she could kiss him again and he sunk down over her. Lee was solid and warm on top of her and Kara couldn’t resist sliding her hands under his t-shirt, her palms coasting up the firm planes of his stomach and ribs, tugging on the material, till he lifted his arms and peeled it off and dropped it to her floor. Her arms encircled him, skimming down his back, and Lee winced.

“Easy, someone did a number on me with her nails last night.”

“Yeah, well you should see my ass. That tree was brutal.”

“I like that idea. You had too many clothes on last night.” He looked her up and down. “You have too many clothes on now.” He dropped a kiss on her nose. “I want to see every inch of you.” He sat up and settled back on his haunches, grabbing Kara’s wrist and pulling her to sit up with him. He kissed her again, lips hungry against her own, and his hands reached around to caress the small of her back. Lee pushed up the hem of her tank slowly, peeled it over her head, down her arms, and tossed it aside. His mouth opened as he raked his eyes down her body, but he didn’t speak. He gently pushed Kara’s shoulders back down into the mattress and sat up again. He slid his hands down her sides, thumbs pressing into the swell of her breasts, tracing her ribs and over her abs, then reached for the waistband of her jeans. The slow, deliberate motions made her breath rush out in a whoosh, her stomach flexing against his fingers as he unbuttoned her jeans.

Kara wanted to speak, or laugh, or slap his hands away and scramble out of her clothes herself, but her throat was dry suddenly and she couldn’t move. His eyes were intense, predatory even, pinning her to the bed. He popped the last button and his fingers brushed over her hips as he hooked her jeans and underwear and tugged. Kara lifted her hips, gaze still locked on his, and he skimmed the clothes down her thighs and calves and tossed them to the floor.

They didn’t move for what had to be a solid minute. Lee’s eyes were wide, traveling up and down her body, studying her like he was memorizing for a test. Kara was almost embarrassed to feel her nipples harden. His gaze raked down her again to stall on the juncture of her slightly parted thighs. The air was charged with an electricity she could’ve cut with a knife and just when she thought she was going to have to scream or cover herself or do something—anything—he bent over her, hands on her waist and pressed his mouth to her stomach. “You’re amazing,” he breathed into her skin, lips rasping against her. Lee’s tone was hushed, awestruck, reverent—certainly nothing like Kara had ever heard from him before when he’d addressed her—and she shivered.  

“Are you cold?” he lifted his head and frowned, reaching for a sheet, but Kara was quicker. She grinned and grabbed his hips, pulling him down to her. 

“Maybe you should warm me up,” she winked. Obediently, he blanketed her with his body, fixing his mouth to the pulse point in her neck and sucking hard. Kara sighed and skated her hands over his hips, fingers toying with the back of his jeans, stroking his back and slipping under the denim to cup his ass. She squeezed him and he ground into her in response, the heavy fabric of his pants twisting roughly against her sensitive flesh. Kara wrapped her legs around him and Lee slid down her body, mouth trailing wet kisses to her breasts. His hands cupped and lifted them, his fingers pressing and rolling the stiff little nubs, before he closed his mouth over the flushed tips, licking at her and suckling until she was groaning under him.

Lee slipped down further, his hands on her hips as he kissed her stomach. Kara laughed as he darted his tongue into her navel, tickling her, then licked broad stripes down her abs. Her laughter died and she skipped a breath when his tongue skittered over the taut skin under her belly button. He pressed a line of sloppy kisses against her bikini line and Kara froze, then nudged him hard under the armpits with her knees. “Come back up here, so we can get to the good stuff.”

He lifted his head and frowned in confusion. “This isn’t good stuff?”

She shrugged a shoulder, feeling uncomfortable. “I have some better ideas.”

“Better than this?” He raised an eyebrow skeptically and leaned down, licking a strip through the short blonde hairs at the top of her cleft. Kara rolled her eyes and shifted, wanting to close her legs but unable to with him between them. Lee caught her restless movements. “You don’t like this?”

“It’s…fine. Just doesn’t really do anything for me.” She didn’t really feel like explaining that she always felt uncomfortable when a guy went down on her. Not that it had happened that often. Her conquests were usually too drunk or too selfish to bother. Helo had tried once, cajoled her into letting him, and it had been close but Kara hadn’t been able to climax and they’d moved on to other activities.

He lifted his head, staring at her with surprise. “You’ve never had an orgasm from cunnilingus.”

She rolled her eyes, smirking. Of course, he would use the official medical term. “No, Doctor Adama. Clinically speaking, I have not.”

“Really? Cause Mandy lik—” he stopped at her death glare and cringed. “Uh, most girls seem to like it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not most girls.” She gritted out and tried to wriggle a leg out from under him, feeling ridiculously exposed now. But Lee trapped her leg pinning it with his bicep and braced his hands against her thighs.

“Oh, I think I’ve definitely figured that out.” His voice had that awestruck tone again and he turned his head pressing a kiss against the soft inner skin of her thigh.

Kara stilled, feeling warmth rush through her and pool in her gut. He turned his head again and kissed her other thigh, his mouth traveling up to lick the crease at the top of her leg and she fidgeted. “Lee,” she said insistently.

He stopped, and she thought she heard him groan quietly, before he lifted and climbed back up the bed to bring his face to hers. “Kara,” he said matching her tone. “Do you trust me?”

She frowned. “Yes, but that doesn’t have anything to do with—”

“Actually, I think it does.” His hands were at her breasts again, distracting her, and Kara narrowed her eyes. He was playing dirty, the little frakker.

“Lee” she started, pulling his hands away.

He twined his fingers in hers and met her eyes, his face solemn. “I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that right?”

The seriousness of his tone made her eyes widen again, fix on his earnest stare. She nodded, her breath catching and making her stutter. “Y-Yeah.”

“So trust me then. If you don’t like it, we’ll stop.” He grinned, wickedly. “I’ve been told I’m pretty good at it though.”

“An expert, huh?”

He grinned and lowered his voice to a husky whisper, even though they were alone. “I bet I can make you come.”

She ignored the little thrill shooting down her spine. “A bet?” Kara could never resist a bet. “Are you serious?

 “50 cubits says I can.”

She shook her head, amused in spite of herself. “Alright, stud. Hit me with your best shot.”

He grinned, rather wickedly for Lee, and stretched out over her again, hips settling flush to hers and pressing their twined hands into the mattress over her head. Lee caressed her forearms and wrists, pinning them together and bracketing them with one of his hands. He leaned in and kissed her long and hard, his tongue tangling with hers, stroking deep. Slowly, Kara relaxed under him completely again, a soft little sigh escaping when he broke the kiss. Lee lifted his head and smiled. “Hold that thought.” He reached over the side of the bed behind her and grabbed something. Kara felt soft velvet trail over her arms, then circle her wrists. Her eyebrows shot up. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Just hedging my bets.” The circle around her wrists tightened, and her eyes bugged out. She couldn’t believe it. Lee Adama was tying her to the bed! She twisted her head trying to see what he was doing. Kara let out a yelp.

“That’s my dress sash!”

“You don’t need it. You won’t be wearing your uniform for the next few days.”

“Lee, come on” Kara tugged against the restraint but it was tight enough that she couldn’t wiggle free.

“I was the best at tying knots in my junior explorer class.”

She was torn between admiring this cocky side of Lee and being annoyed that he’d gotten the best of her. Apparently, he had a bit of a kinky streak too. Very Interesting. Kara cocked her head. “Well, you’re just full of hidden talents today, aren’t ya?”

He shrugged, grinning. “Everyone has a skill.” Kara opened her mouth, but Lee swooped, covering it and muffling her protests with another long kiss. She arched into him, frustrated at being unable to touch him and Lee groaned. “Besides, this way, you won’t be able to distract me. I have a mission to complete.”

She laughed. “And what makes you so convinced this mission is going to be successful Cadet Adama?” She hooked a leg around his thighs and pressed her hips up into him again. “I don’t like to lose.”

“Well, that’s the beauty of this little deal.” He winked. “Either way, you win.” He slid back down her body, dropping kisses between her breasts and over her stomach. Kara sighed. Damn, he was determined. She might have to fake it.

Lee pushed her thighs apart with his hands and lowered his head. She could feel his breath, warm and steady, ghosting over sensitive skin. Kara closed her eyes and waited. And waited.

And waited.

She lifted her head as much as she could, digging her shoulder blades into the mattress for leverage. All she could see was the top of his head between her legs. “Hey, did you fall asl— _Ohhh._ ” She gasped as he suddenly pushed his tongue into her, licking from bottom to top in one swift, sure movement. Her eyes fluttered shut and he did it again and this time his tongue sort of curled around her clit just slightly and Kara moaned.  _Oh, he_ was _good at this._

“So far so good?” Kara opened her eyes and crooked her neck to look down at him. He was grinning, almost like he was mocking her, the smug bastard.

“It’s okay.” She said nonchalantly, determined not to give him the satisfaction.

“Only okay? That sounds like a challenge.” He lowered his head again and she felt his lips brush her gently, kissing her intimately, and she melted a little. His hands tightened on her thighs, thumbs stroking her skin as his mouth pressed into her again and again.

She watched him, feeling a little strange at the idea that this was  _Lee_  with his head buried between her thighs, doing rather amazing things to her that she hadn’t really ever pictured Lee’s tongue doing. Or not since first term anyway. He stopped and lifted his head suddenly and she frowned, but his voice was low and full of arousal when he said, “Tell me what you want, Kara.”

Kara blinked. No one had ever asked her what she wanted before. She looked at him, with his serious eyes and his mouth red from kissing her and his fingers pressing into her skin, and she thought:  _you_. But she said: “More.” He smiled anyway and she let her head fall back to the pillow.

Lee swirled his tongue over her again and again and Kara felt the pressure building. He surged forward, closing his mouth over her and sucked gently and she groaned. Kara arched, her shoulders aching a little from the restraints, and shifted, spreading her thighs wider in invitation.

 Lee pulled his mouth away. “Kara? Did you like that?” She couldn’t answer. “Talk to me.”

She took a deep breath; her voice was shaky. “Harder.”  

Lee shifted, sliding his hands down the inside of her thighs and under them, pushing and Kara bent her knees. He hooked an arm around her left leg, his fingers snaking down to part her, his thumb pressing against her clit. She gasped as he rubbed with firm, sharp strokes. Her muscles clenched a little and she whimpered. Her entire body tingled, and it occurred to Kara that she might be out 50 cubits after all.

His right shoulder nudged her thigh and she felt his fingers parting her lower, the tip of his index finger pressing into her entrance slightly. Her hips jolted at the light pressure and she exhaled shakily. Lee let his fingers slide away, but ground down just the slightest bit harder with his thumb against her clit. She was on fire now, so close she could almost taste it and she shifted restlessly, her heels pressing into Lee’s ribs.

“Kara,” he breathed out, voice rough and unsteady. Then he was pushing into her with the tip of his tongue, flicking and curling it inside her, and Kara cried out. Lee stopped, pulling back. “Good?”

“Good.” She gritted out. He pushed into her again, driving just a bit deeper and Kara’s hips snapped upward, her back arching, body curling. The movement made her shoulders ache as she pulled against the restraints but Kara didn’t care. She just didn’t want him to stop.

But maddeningly he pulled back again and she tried to scoot closer but couldn’t get any leverage. “Untie me,” she hissed, frustrated. And Lee shook his head slowly, his eyes not leaving hers. “Call the ball,  Kara.” He leaned forward and flicked his tongue, lashing it against her clit quickly. “More of this?” His lips fastened on her, sucking her swollen skin. Kara gasped. “Or this?” Before she could speak, he lowered his head again, sliding into her. Her chest heaved as she tried to breathe and a sheen of sweat beaded on her skin. “Gods…Frak… _Yes,_ ” she growled. But Lee didn’t move. She narrowed her eyes and groaned. Fine, he wanted to play hardball. “ _Deeper_.”

She felt him shift, his shoulders nudging the back of her thighs, and his hands grasped her hips and tilted them. Kara bit her lip and wrapped her hands around the bedframe, impossibly turned on. She’d never felt like this. Never ran this hot with anyone before. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. Kara closed her eyes, arousal strumming through her and rocked upwards against Lee’s hands just as he surged forward, thrusting his tongue inside her, driving deep. A high, keening sound escaped her lips and her muscles clenched. He wriggled his tongue, rubbing his face against her and her thighs tensed, shaking. Gods, she was so close.

“Yesssss….Ohhhh…Oh Gods,” Kara cried out. “ _Don’t stop_.”

He pushed forward again and again, his nose nudging her, and Kara bucked under him. It was almost painful. Her whole body felt like a live wire that wouldn’t ignite. She strained forward, wrists chafing against the tight bindings.

Lee pulled back, panting hard. He slid a hand up over her hip, palm flat on her stomach and just the pressure of it made her moan. “Kara,” his voice was ragged. “I’ve got you. Just let go.” He leaned in and brushed his lips across her damp skin in a kiss, then murmured low, his mouth tickling her.  _“Come for me.”_

A sharp ache flared through her at his words. Lee was the only person who’d ever made her feel like this. Not just aroused, but…cared for, protected, cherished.  _Loved._  The realization overwhelmed her just as he licked into her again, curling his tongue and hitting her sweet spot. Kara’s whole body spasmed, clenching tight, and she broke finally, choking out his name as she came hard under his mouth. As her body pulsed with relief, she couldn’t stop chanting it.

Boneless and sated, Kara sagged back into the mattress, and Lee crawled up the bed and untied the sash. He rubbed his fingers over her reddened wrists and pulled them to his mouth, kissing the marks. Kara just watched him, unable to muster the energy to move. She’d just broken every rule about sex she’d ever had. This wasn’t casual at all.

And she didn’t give a damn.

He scooped an arm under her shoulders and pulled her into his body, cradling her head against his shoulder.  Lee brought his lips to her ear and whispered, “I think you owe me 50 cubits.”

Kara pulled back her head to look at him, her face serious. She wrapped her arms and legs around Lee, squeezing him tight. “I think I owe you more than that.” Kara kissed him, slow and soft, and it was a thank you and a promise and maybe a little something more besides. Suddenly a wave of utter exhaustion swept over her and she yawned obnoxiously wide. Lee chuckled and she dropped her head back on his shoulder. “First, sleep. And then you’re at my mercy, flyboy.”

He grinned. “I’ll be looking forward to that.” He titled his head, resting his cheek on her hair.

Kara hummed her assent, eyelids drooping as she started drifting off.

“Oh, and Lee? I have handcuffs.”


	5. Letting Go

Lee Adama had a problem.

He’d been lying there for twenty minutes now, trying to get lost in the sound of Kara’s even breathing. But watching her let go like that,  _just for him_ , had made him hard enough to cut glass. And it was starting to hurt.

Carefully he reached around and lifted her head, wriggling his arm free. He rolled off the bed and crept out of the room. But ten minutes later, he was shivering under the stinging nettles of ice in the dorm bathroom and his dick was still half-hard. The problem was the water kept getting into his eyes, so he’d close them, but then all he could see was Kara. Kara writhing under him and crying out his name and looking hotter than his wildest fantasies come to life.

It was madness, really, the way she’d gotten under his skin. He’d known her for three years and he’d never really thought about them like this before a month ago. Well, not that often anyway. When he’d first met Kara, he’d been attracted to her instantly. She’d been wearing an insufferable smirk because she’d just kicked his ass in the sims three times in a row. When he’d put out a hand to shake (her grip had been bruising), and looked into her eyes, Lee had been shocked. She was so alive she was practically throwing sparks and for one moment, he’d felt overwhelmed, dizzied by her tangible vibrance.

But he wasn’t the only one. There was a long line of guys who sought Kara’s attention and whenever she and Helo dragged him out, he’d notice her nights would end with either a fight or a frak. And either way, he wasn’t the guy under her. No, he was the one who bailed her out of hack and kept an eye on any potential conquests who got out of hand (Kara didn’t know so much about that last bit because he probably would’ve ended up with a black eye and a warning that she could take care of herself). It had rankled at first to watch her flirt with every guy in the bar. Sometimes she’d flirt with him too, but he never reciprocated because he knew she’d just move on in the morning. Lee knew a one-night stand wasn’t what he wanted, not with Kara. She was his best friend and that was worth more than any temporary lay—tempting as the prospect had been at times.

And yet…wasn’t that exactly what he’d jumped into here? Graduation was in three days and then he left the following morning for War College. That was two whole years without Kara. And he was already going to miss her, but now that he knew how mind-blowing it was to have her—even if they were telling themselves it was  _just sex_ —he had a whole new set of reasons for not wanting to go.

Lee sighed, pushing away thoughts of his departure, trying to live in the moment instead of worrying about the future like he always did. He had four days and he was determined to make the most of them. Maybe he’d look back on this and kick himself for being such a fool later, but he couldn’t regret it now— not when he knew how she felt under his hands, how her skin smelled, how she tasted on his tongue. He closed his eyes again, his mind flooded by sense memories, and reached down to take himself in hand. Slowly he stroked himself, skin burning even under the frigid water and let his imagination take over.

He was so taken by the mental pictures, that he didn’t hear the shower door creak open, didn’t even notice another presence until warm skin brushed his back. Lee froze, eyes snapping open, just as a laughing voice whispered in his ear. “Looks like you could use a hand there.”

He grinned, his blood quickening at just the sound of her voice, as Kara slid her arms around his waist. Her palm was hot as it skimmed down over his stomach and closed over his fingers. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, then tightened her hand over his and pushed gently, so their mingled grip stroked the length of him. What blood remained in his head quickly rushed to his groin. He groaned as she did it again and stiffened, swelling until he was fully hard again. Kara’s tongue glided over his shoulder and she released her grip, slipping around in front of him. The water streamed over her naked body and Lee reached out for her, needing to touch. His hands landed on her waist just as Kara yelped.

“Frak, that’s freezing, Lee.” She slapped her hand out and wrenched the faucet to the warm setting and ducked under the stream. Her eyes were dancing, her lips quirking into a little smirk when she said, “Anyone ever tell you you’re a bit of a masochist, Adama?”

He watched as she tipped her head under the spray, a hand raking through her slicked back hair. The water cascaded down her chest and he watched as a single rivulet slid over creamy skin, his eyes tracking a perfect droplet that quivered from the tip of one nipple and his mouth watered. “Only with you,” he answered her question, voice lower than his usual tone. His hands tightened on her hips and he yanked her forward, crushing her against him and dropping his head to kiss her breastbone. She tasted clean and sweet under his mouth and a fresh wave of desire rippled in his stomach. How much more could he want this woman?

Oblivious, Kara was chuckling in his ear, her hands skating over his shoulders, stroking between his shoulder blades with maddening little feathery touches. “Mmm. Or maybe I should say sadomasochist.” She raised an eyebrow, her voice mocking but still warm. “Who knew? Lee Adama, boy scout, likes to play bondage games?”

He smirked. “That’s junior explorer, to you.”

“Right. Merit badges and all.” She scraped her nails lightly across the small of his back, and Lee arched into her, hissing a little breath as she passed over one of the scratches she’d given him the night before. Lee groaned, pushed his thigh between hers and shifted against her slightly, his erection rubbing urgently against the high curve of her hip.

“Well, I guess you had no problems getting the one for tent pitching.”

She burbled out a peal of giggles as she said it, choking on the words, and Lee couldn’t help but laugh too. It shocked him suddenly to realize he couldn’t ever remember laughing during sex before. He grinned and pressed closer, his mouth fixing hard over hers, swallowing her laughter and some of the stream from the shower besides. They kissed, tongues tangling together, until they had to part for air. He stroked his hands up and down her sides just because he could and when he looked up again, Kara was staring at him, a knowing little smile playing on her lips.

“What?”

“I’m on to you, you know.”

Lee pulled her tighter to him. “Well, right now, yes, you are indeed  _on to me_ , I’d say.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “I’m talking about this little façade of yours.” She poked a finger into his chest, then trailed it back and forth against his collarbone, teasingly. Despite the playfulness, her words made Lee tense a little, wondering where she was going with this.

“Everyone thinks you’re this golden boy. Flies by the book. Never breaks the rules. Always does the right thing.” She laughed, a delighted gleam in her eye. “Hell, I’m surprised they don’t have you on the Fleet recruitment posters, Apollo.”

Her hand flattened on his chest suddenly, her head moving closer till he could feel her breath puffing against his chin. “But that’s not the real you at all, is it?” Her lips curved, mouth wide and wicked, and he blinked. “The restaurant…the tree...the sash? You’ve been hiding a bit of a wild streak.” She raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Yup. Underneath that… _junior explorer_  act, you’re a ticking time bomb.”

“Kara,” he started, but she slid her hands up over his shoulders and cupped his neck, fingers laced tight against his nape. Kara’s challenging eyes locked onto his own, and Lee felt exposed suddenly, vulnerable in a way that had nothing to do with being naked. He swallowed hard and shifted, wanting to pull back but unable to look away from her eyes, so dark and focused on him now. Her voice was rough and low, barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to pretend with me.” She moved in closer until their noses were nearly touching. “ _I know you_ , Lee Adama.” Kara smiled suddenly and it was a breathtaking, dangerous thing. “And I’m going to make you explode.”

She fused her mouth hard to his, and Lee wrapped his arms around her, his heart pounding. He felt adrenaline rushing in his veins, flooding him, that familiar feeling like the world might fall out from under his feet with the next step. It was the feeling he always got when Kara was around. She was the only one who made him feel this much excitement and fear and hope all tangled up together. She was the only one who made him feel this much.

Lee surged forward with Kara in his arms, pressing her back into the wall, and pinning her with his hips. His hands dragged roughly, almost manically, down her slick curves, desperate to touch her everywhere suddenly. But Kara reached down and grabbed his wrists, just as she nipped at his tongue. Lee pulled back with a yelp. “Hey!”

“Well, stop distracting me!” She smirked, narrowing her eyes at him. “It’s my turn _,_  remember? I’ve got a debt to settle and payback’s a bitch, Lee,” she grinned. “Of course, my handcuffs would rust in here, so I guess we’ll have to improvise.” She closed her fingers around his wrists and lifted his hands up to her shoulders.

Kara tugged him forward and he overbalanced, slapping his palms against the wall on either side of her head to avoid crushing her. She smiled wickedly, her fingers still locked around his wrists. “That’s better. Now don’t take your hands off this wall.”

“Or what?”

Her eyes flashed wickedly as she murmured, “Or else I might just have to punish you.”

Lee’s eyes widened at that, as she slid her hands forward and up to grip his biceps. She ducked her head and touched her tongue to the base of his neck, then licked up, her lips fastening on the hickey she gave him the previous night and sucking gently. The spot was a little sore, but he felt more pleasure than pain and Lee shivered. Kara lifted her lips to his ear. “I bet you like that idea.” She snaked a hand down and closed it around his straining erection and he heard himself let out an embarrassing noise that was more whimper than moan.

“Oh, you definitely like that idea,” she smirked at him. She slid her hand up then down, pumping her fist over him and Lee’s hips jerked hard, his head bowing. The hand on his bicep tightened, her fingertips digging in and squeezing. Kara leaned in so her lips brushed his lobe, her voice husky, her breath blowing warm on the sensitive inner skin of his ear. “That turn you on, Lee? Just thinking about all the ways I can make you scream.” She loosened her grip, letting her fingertips just graze the velvety skin, tracing little patterns on his shaft. “I could touch you like this,” she pressed her palm over him cupping his balls in her hand and squeezing gently, “or I could take you into my mouth,” she closed her wet hand around him again, “or maybe I could lick right  _here_ ,” she glided a fingertip up over the slit on the head of his cock, probing gently. Lee shuddered, moaning at the caress. “Would you scream then?” She pinched him gently, her lips pressing tighter to his ear, so her voice and her hands were the only finite points in his universe suddenly. “Would you beg…Lee?”

Arousal slammed through him, and he lifted a hand to her face, needing to touch her, but she caught his fingers and pulled it away. Kara turned her head, kissing the center of his palm, tongue skittering over his flesh, then twisted a little to slap his hand back on the wall over her shoulder. “That was cheating.” She singsonged, eyes sparkling. “And now I  _am_  going to have to punish you.”

Kara reached out and twisted the water off suddenly. Her hands fell to his waist and she bent her head, kissing his chest. Her mouth burned, as she inched down his body slowly, suckling and nibbling on his skin. Her tongue flicked at his nipples, then lower into his navel, then lower again still. Lee pressed his hands hard against the wall, watching, aching already, as Kara sank to her knees in front of him.

Her hands traced up his thighs and she leaned into him, letting her lips brush against his shaft almost as if by accident. But then she tilted her head back and the sparkle in her eyes told him she knew exactly what she was doing. “So, how do you want your punishment?” Those perfect lips curved. “Quick and dirty or long and slow?”

She grinned, looking up at him expectantly and he flushed, mouth going dry, unable to answer.

Kara shifted and her closed lips pressed against the stretched skin of his head, not quite a kiss, just bumping against him and he twitched. She pulled back slightly and the tip of her tongue slid out, wetting her lower lip, but she was close enough that it grazed him too and he let out a hard breath. “Oh, Kara.” It was halfway between a sigh and a moan.

“Stop thinking, Lee.” Her hands traced circles over his thighs and she murmured against his skin, her tongue touching him again when she said his name. “I’m on my knees here.” There was the slightest hint of irritation, impatience in her voice, and it almost made him smile because it was so  _Kara_. “And I’m ready to do anything you want. You just have to ask for it.” Those perfect lips curved, and a barrage of incredibly dirty thoughts flashed through his brain.

“I—“ he paused, stuttering, as her hands slid around his legs, then came up to cup his ass. “I want—“   
But he stopped again, his desire for her warring with his embarrassment, unable to force the words out.

“C’mon, baby.” Kara said suddenly in a high-pitched breathy voice like she was straight out of one of those soft-core porn flicks Helo was always trying to get him to watch. She grinned up at him and wiggled her eyebrows, then stuck her tongue out and swiped it up his shaft in one long wet stroke. “Talk dirty to me.”

He gasped, and reached down for her again, forgetting the rules. But Kara shook her head and he slapped his hands back on the wall, frustration and lust boiling in him now. She ducked her head and her tongue swept over his balls and he jerked. But Kara followed him, licking up and up and then just swirling once around the tip of him.

“Gods…please…Kara.”

“Please what?” Her smile was maddening.

“Frak,” he breathed out. He could do this, he could. “Touch me.”

She slid a hand over his hip and made a tight circle around the base of his shaft with her fingers. “Like this?” her breath was warm and her lips were right there, if he could just… Lee rocked his hips forward, but Kara leaned back.

“Tell me what you want.”

“Your mouth.”

She stared at him, challenge in her eyes and the barest hint of a smirk on her lips. “Say it.”

He sucked in a breath and his voice was low and tremulous. “Take me in your mouth, Kara.”

She stroked her hand up slowly, fingers trailing lazily over him, and grinned. “Good boy.” And then she parted her lips and pushed forward, closing her mouth around just the head of his cock, and Lee died a little. He groaned, pressing the heels of his hands hard against the tile and tried to rock forward, wanting more. But Kara’s hands were on his hips pushing him back and her mouth tightened, clamping down so he couldn’t move.  _Frak._  He almost smiled because it was typical Kara. Stubborn and bossy even now. Fine, he’d play it her way.

“More,” Lee said, his voice stronger this time. “Take me deeper.” Her lips slackened a little around him and she slid down, her tongue rubbing against him till he was half buried in the wet heat of her mouth. And then she frakking stopped.

He let out a frustrated groan. “All the way, Kara.” She made a noise, which Lee could swear was a laugh if he wasn’t so distracted by the way it made her throat flutter a little around him. He gasped and she pushed down, swallowing him inch by agonizing inch, until her lips were flush to his groin. Lee stared down at her blonde head bent over him and had a moment of dissociation, like he was watching it happen but wasn’t really there, because the concept of Kara Thrace going down on him in the shower wasn’t something he could readily wrap his brain around.

But even if his brain wasn’t comprehending the rest of his body was definitely onboard. Kara glided her hands up, caressing his stomach, but she didn’t move her head, just held him in her mouth and waited. Strong thumbs rubbed back and forth in the divots under his hip muscles, stroking him steadily and Lee had to close his eyes and concentrate because the feeling was almost too much already and she hadn’t even begun yet. And then he realized she wouldn’t begin at all until he— _unless_  he instructed her to, and the knowledge flushed through him, making him heady with desire and power.

“Yes…Oh gods...please…” Kara hummed around him, and the buzz rippled through him, making his stomach quiver. Her hands slid down and around, grasping the back of his thighs, pulling him forward slightly even as she tilted her head back a little to meet his eye. Lee pressed his weight into the wall, feeling like he was falling, and let out a low moan as the change in angle made her mouth pull on him slightly. He locked eyes with Kara, who lightened her grip, tracing a feathery caress down the back of his thigh. She was waiting for him. “Frak,” he breathed, feeling dizzy with want. “Suck me, Kara.”

Her mouth tightened around him immediately and the sweet suction was incredible. Kara pulled back, easing off till she was closed over just the tip of his length again, then slid back down in one smooth rush and the pleasure slammed into him like a wave. A harsh grunt escaped his lips, then another as she did it again. He was torn between the need to close his eyes and just bask in the sensation, and his inability to tear his gaze away from the way her head bobbed up and down as she worked him over with that expert mouth. He’d heard rumors, of course, jokes about Starbuck’s talent in the  _cockpit_ , but Lords of Kobol, if he’d known she was this amazing… Lee moaned as she shifted, gently scraping her teeth against his rigid flesh as she sucked him in.

His hands twitched, palms burning against the cool tile with the need to hold onto her. “Nghhh…Need to feel you,” he growled the words, not even embarrassed at how close to desperate he sounded, “Let me touch you.” She stilled and Lee dropped his hands to Kara’s head, smoothing over her cheekbones and cradling her face in his palms, his fingers tangling in the slick blonde strands of her hair. She shifted too, slipping a hand down between his legs, to cup his balls, her fingers gentle but nimble as she massaged him.

 _“Harder, yes, faster, gods, just like that, more, please,”_  the words were streaming out now, his jaw clenching as he tried to stop himself from bucking under her mouth, afraid he might hurt her. But Kara was relentless, her mouth every bit as punishing as she’d promised, as she increased the suction and the speed. She was making these little half-whimper, half-sigh noises each time she pushed down on him that were driving him insane and Lee could feel his body tingling as the need to release spiraled sharper in him.

He was so consumed that it barely registered when the door to the bathroom slammed open. But he took notice when Kara paused as the loud voices of their fellow students echoed from around the wall that sectioned off the shower block. He tugged on her hair, pulling her head back so he could catch her eye. “Don’t stop,” he hissed, and he swore she smirked around him. Then she rose up higher and bent her head almost parallel with his belly. She moved her hand, making a tight circle with her fingers around his cock and balls that verged on painful, but before he could protest, Kara slid down hard, opening her throat and taking him deeper than before, her nose pushing into his groin. He cried out, a long, loud obscene moan, and the voices in the other room fell silent.

He was oblivious by the time the door slammed shut again because Kara was swallowing around him repeatedly, her throat massaging him. Lee was panting hard with every breath, his thighs trembling with the restraint. “Gods, I want to take you….want to frak your mouth.” His fingers curled in her hair reflexively even as Lee froze at the shock of saying that out loud. But Kara just eased back, her mouth softening around him even as she settled a hand on his hip and tugged, murmuring something that sounded like a yes.

He rocked forward, sliding between her lips and moaned when he bottomed out against the back of her throat. His entire body was buzzing with pleasure. Lee’s hips pistoned forward, thrusting a little harder and faster, sweat beading on his straining body. His hands tightened on Kara’s head, and he hoped to God he wasn’t hurting her, because there was no way he was gonna be able to stop now. But Kara’s grip on his ass was bruising, tugging him closer each time he pulled out and not for the first time, he appreciated the fact that Starbuck could handle anything. She sure as frak knew how to handle him.

Lee groaned, his thighs shaking and he felt his release coming, so close he could taste it, and he tensed rocking up on the balls of his feet. “Kara, Kara, Kara, oh, oh gods, I’m…ahh, I’m gonna c-come,” she bore down, her lips and her hand squeezing at once, clamping tight around him and Lee thrust deep, climaxing harder than he ever had before in his life. His orgasm ripped through him, as he forced out low, guttural noises, just primal sounds that weren’t even recognizable as words, as he pulsed out, his fingers clenching and shaking on Kara’s head. She was swallowing, cheeks hollowed, her mouth milking him until he was done and soft again and she released him. Lee sagged, bracing himself against the wall and trying to catch his breath. Kara turned her face, resting it against his thigh for a moment and he could hear her suck in a breath as well.

When she got to her feet, she was wincing. Frak. He reached out for her, hands cupping her face. “Gods, I hurt you didn’t I?” His fingers traced lightly over her face but Kara lifted her hands to his, stilling them. “Please, I’m fine,” she scoffed. “Although my bum knee is not your biggest fan at the moment.” She gave a little shake to the leg she’d injured playing pyramid when she was 16, and Lee felt like a heel. He’d been so consumed by the thought of Kara on her knees for his own pleasure that he’d forgotten about her old injury. Not that it was too surprising considering—he’d practically forgotten his own name there at the end. He frowned and Kara shuffled closer, reaching up and rubbing her thumb against his brow. “Hey, cut that out. The worry line is back. I’m fine, Lee. Really.”

He shook his head, flushing a little, even as he wrapped an arm around Kara’s waist and pulled her to him. “That was…I’ve never lost control like that before.”

Kara smirked, all cocky pride. “Guess I just know how to push your buttons.” She winked and pressed closer to him, her hands on his shoulders. “Wild abandon looks pretty good on you, Apollo. You should try it more often.”

Lee didn’t answer, he was too absorbed by those bright eyes and that amazing mouth, curving with amusement. She made it seem so easy to just let it all go, the pressure, the stress, the expectations that he never could quite live up to. He realized with a start that Kara was the only person in his whole life who didn’t hold him up to some impossible standard. He didn’t have to be the perfect son, the model brother, the top student, the doting boyfriend when he was with her. He could just be Lee.

He leaned in and kissed her, soft and slow until she melted into him. Lee kept his eyes open the whole time and when she pulled back, he watched her lashes flicker up, her eyes wide and a little glassy as Kara came back to herself. Maybe it was that easy to just let yourself get lost. After all, wasn’t he already completely lost in her?

Kara smiled, and it wasn’t brimming with bravado this time, but small and private, and longing pierced him so sharply the words started to tumble out before he could think. “Gods, I lo-” Kara’s eyes widened and he caught himself, breath skipping just slightly as he rushed on, “-st the feeling in my legs I think.” Lee forced out a laugh, sagging against the wall, his heart pounding.  _Frak_. Kara was still staring at him, a curious look on her face.  _Frak. Frak._

Hoping to distract from any awkward questions, he bent his head and kissed her again, quick and hard this time. It only took a moment till the hunger took over again and they were pressed up against the wall, tongues and lips and hands roaming. Finally Kara broke away and grabbed his wrist, pulling him out of the shower stall and tossing a towel at Lee’s head.

“Let’s go back to bed.” She raised a brow and leered at him. “I’ve got some ideas on how you can make it up to that bum knee of mine.”

Lee watched as she wrapped the towel around herself, his head still spinning from the revelation. He was in love with Kara Thrace. And he’d nearly told her. Lee thought for a moment, trying to imagine Kara’s reaction. She’d probably laugh. If he was lucky. And this thing between them—he refused to call it a fling—would be over faster than he could pull an end-to-end flip in his Mark V, no doubt. He stared after her as she headed for the door, calling over her shoulder for him to hurry the frak up.

Gods help him now.


	6. Take Me Higher

Kara’s eyes snapped open to darkness and the feeling of a heavy weight across her chest, pinning her down. Panic clawed at her for an instant, her muscles tensing. She was ready to fight or maybe just flee. Then her vision adjusted to the dim twilight cloaking her room. Her room. The Academy. Her mother wasn’t here.

She took a breath and the arm that was draped over her rose and settled with her chest. Kara turned her head. Lee. She was in bed with Lee. The incongruity of it made a bubble of anxiety rise in her chest, but then her memory kicked in. Right. They were doing this now. She took another breath.

Grateful his eyes were closed, Kara studied his sleeping face. His brow was unlined, his expression soft. There was a tuft of hair sticking up from his forehead that made him look all of about twelve years old. Fortunately, the length of his naked body pressed against her side made it very clear that he wasn’t. She shifted, pressing closer as she turned to face him. His arm tightened around her, and his breath huffed out in a little humming sigh.

She’d known Lee for three years, seen any number of expressions cross his face, but she’d never seen him like this. He looked so peaceful. Kara realized suddenly that, in some indescribable way, he looked different to her now. Lying this close to him, the curves and angles of his face were both sharper and softer, familiar and new. Every hour they’d spent together these past few days, Kara had learned things about Lee that didn’t fit into the boxes she’d assigned him over the past few years. The steady, predictable mental portrait she had of him—her pain in the ass, endearingly earnest, ridiculously straight arrow best friend—had shifted slightly. Lee was still all those things, but he was also more—more beautiful to her now. More dangerous too.

Without thinking, she lifted a hand to trace a fingertip across his brow, so smooth without the perpetual creases of worry. Her fingers glided down the straight slope of his nose, into the soft hollow above his lips, over the curves of his mouth, across the slight stubble texturing his chin and jaw. Lee hummed again, a little rumble in his chest, and his lips parted on a sigh _. “Kara.”_

She snatched her hand back, but he didn’t stir. What was she doing? Her words to Helo rang in her ears.  _“I can handle it.”_ She’d been so damn sure. And now what was she doing? Losing her godsdamned mind, that’s what. Getting all stupid. Mushy.  _Attached_. Hell, they’d spent most of the last eighteen hours wrapped around each other. Kara seldom did seconds, but she never did thirds. Or fourths. Or fifths. _Frak_.

She didn’t do this. She didn’t fall asleep with her conquests and she definitely didn’t cuddle. She absolutely did not moon over their pretty faces and wish for more. Gods, she was so gone on him that she’d even thought for a moment there, when they’d been in the shower, that he was going to say – well, something he’d no doubt regret later. The crazy thing was that she wasn’t sure if she wished he had or was glad he hadn’t.

She rolled her eyes at herself and grabbed his arm, lifting it so she could slide away. Lee’s eyes flew open. “Hey.”

Kara froze. “Hey.”

Confused blue eyes stared into hers for a moment. “Going somewhere?”

She opened her mouth and paused. She knew what she  _should_  do. She should make a joke, kick him out before she got any more tangled up in him. Walk away before he could, because he would. He’d stop thinking with his dick and start thinking with his brain again and realize she was all the things her mother always said she was. And then where would she be?

But she couldn’t. Maybe it was selfish—it was definitely stupid—but she couldn’t walk away this time. Only a few days left and then it wouldn’t matter anyway. Lee would be gone. Kara stared back at him and longing pierced her so sharply her breath stuttered. She closed her mouth and just shook her head, not trusting herself to speak for fear that something would fly out that she couldn’t take back.

Lee smiled and lifted a hand to her face. “Good,” he said, thumb tracing her cheekbone as he quirked an eyebrow at her. ”I thought maybe I was going to have to get out the dress sash again.” She couldn’t quite manage a laugh, but he didn’t seem to notice as he leaned in and covered her mouth with his.

Lee slid over her, rolling her onto her back and sliding a thigh between hers. She slipped her arms around him, pressing her hands against his shoulder blades. Suddenly a muffled noise trilled out. Lee groaned and pulled back. “That’s me. Sorry.” He swung out of bed and padded over to their heap of clothes, which had been kicked into the corner of her room and fished out his cell phone.

Kara propped herself on an elbow, watching him. Her eyes lingered proprietarily over the sweep of his back, the jut of his hip, the lines of his thighs. She could’ve lain there all day, just watching him, but she was distracted by the sharp tone of his conversation.

“Dad, I didn’t—” His mouth snapped shut in a firm line and Kara could hear the squawk of a raised voice coming through the receiver.

“Yes, but—” He frowned, gritting his teeth. “Fine. I will be there. Okay?” He clicked off and tossed the phone back on the heap of clothes with a little more force than was necessary. He slumped down, leaning forward on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees. Lee dropped his head, his hands running through his hair, and blew out a frustrated breath.

“What was that about?”

“My father,” he said, his voice steely, “just calling to inform me that I  _will_  be reporting for duty at 0800 tomorrow.”His hands curled into fists which he banged against his thighs as he sat up. “He wants to show me off to some old war college buddies of his.” His mouth twisted in a sneer, the words tumbling out bitterly. “I’m sure he can’t wait to tell them all the ways I don’t exactly measure up to the Old Man.”

Kara sat up and scooted a little closer, drawing her knees up to her chest. “Hey, Lee, can I ask you something?”

His head lifted. “Yeah, of course.”

“What are you doing here?”

Oddly, he flushed and started stammering for an answer, and Kara got it and grinned. “Not  _here_ ,” she waved a hand at the bed, “I mean here at the Academy. Is it out of obligation to your dad? Is that why you enlisted?”

“Partly.” He shrugged. “And, you know, it’s a good way to get an education.”

Kara made a face.

“What?”

“Really? That’s your answer?” She looked at him incredulously. “Six weeks of sheer hell during boot camp, insane drill sergeants yelling in your face 24-7, reveille at 0600, crap coffee in the mess—and that big brain of yours couldn’t come up with the idea that maybe a regular college might be a better alternative.”

His mouth twisted, glaring at her with frustration and amusement. “I didn’t say that education was the only reason.”

“So what is it that kept you coming back every year? I know you’re a martyr, Adama, but there’s gotta be something you like about the place.” He looked at her, the hint of a smirk on his face, and damn if his intense stare didn’t make her insides liquefy a little. “Present activities excluded.”

Lee grinned fleetingly, then sobered as he turned towards her. “The summer I was ten, my father came home on leave for a few weeks and he took me and Zak to the airfield with him. It was the first time he’d ever let us go to the base with him.” He smiled, his eyes distant, fixed on a point behind her. Kara folded her arms on her knees and pillowed her head on them, just watching him and listening.

“When we got there, they were prepping for a training mission. A hundred Vipers, just big and bold as life, filling the tarmac. They weren’t even moving, but gods, they looked so…fierce. Indestructible. Powerful. ” He turned, and those blue eyes focused again on Kara. “I fell in love.”

Her lips quirked but she refused to blush at the words. They weren’t for her, she reminded herself; he was just talking about the birds. Lee smiled and went on with the story. “And I knew I just had to get inside one, no matter what. So I snuck away when my Dad was talking to one of the crew and I climbed up the ladder and into the cockpit of one of those old Mark IIs.”

He shook his head, lost in nostalgia. “It felt like the longest climb of my life, but finally I got up there and I sat down in the cockpit. My legs were way too short to reach the pedals, but I grabbed the throttle and pressed a whole mess of buttons I probably shouldn’t have touched.” He chuckled a little. “Luckily, I had no idea how to start the damn thing or I probably would have tried to take off. But Gods, I just felt like the coolest kid in the universe, you know? Just…for the first time, in my life…everything felt…” he trailed off.

“Right,” Kara breathed, finishing for him. She knew that feeling. She’d felt it herself first time she’d sat in a cockpit. Of course for her, it’d been in a simulator, but it was still enough to make her know that this— _this_ —was what she was meant to be doing with her life.

Lee looked at her and nodded. “Yeah.” His smile turned rueful and his brow creased with tension again. “I miss that. It’s not really the same now.”

Kara smirked. “Aw, c’mon, Apollo, practicing formation drills and musty patrol protocol doesn’t get you all hot and bothered?”

He rolled his eyes and bumped his side into her legs. “Yeah, it’s just thrilling.”

“Well, war college is all tactics and strategy. You barely get any flytime at all. So why are you going?”

“I –” He stopped, looking startled. “I have to go; I got accepted.”

Kara tilted her head. “No, you don’t. Not if you don’t want to.”

“We took an oath, Kara. To serve the Colonies.” He was emphatic, but she could see there was still surprise in his eyes, like it was something he’d never considered. “I can’t turn my back on that.”

“There are a lot of ways you can serve people, Lee. You don’t have to do this.” She reached forward, her hands wrapping around his arm. “War college means you’re a lifer. You’ll be stuck in some officer’s position, some desk job that you’ll hate.” He frowned and Kara felt a twinge of guilt at being so honest. “I just… you should think about it, before it’s too late. Forget about your dad, just figure out what  _you_  really want.”

Lee was silent for a moment, eyes drilling into the carpet like it had personally offended him. Kara bit her lip. She’d wanted to see him excited, happy about something, and she’d just made him miserable. She wavered for a second, unsure what to do. She didn’t have a lot of practice with fixing things she’d broken. Usually she just left the pieces behind for someone else to clean up. But this was Lee and he was hurting and she’d had a hand in causing it. She took a deep breath, then before she could lose her nerve, she scooted forward till her chest pressed into his bicep, sliding her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

Lee turned his head, faint surprise on his face as he gave her an absent-minded smile and a kiss. Kara pressed back, her mouth opening against his, her tongue sliding into him, trying to tease out the hurt and the anger by any means necessary. But when she pulled back, his brow was still furrowed. So much for her usual distraction methods. She’d have to try the other route to a man’s reason. Kara untangled herself from him and scrambled out of bed.

“Hey,” Lee said. “Kara, what—“

He let out an “oof” when his pants hit him in the chest. His eyebrows raised. “You’re kicking me out?”

Kara nodded, snagging a change of clothes and starting to pull them on. “It’s about time don’t you think? We’ve been holed up in here for—” she checked the clock, “gods, twelve hours now.”

His eyes dropped, face going hard, as he stood up, pulling on his underwear and pants. “Right. I didn’t realize the clock was running.”

She watched a muscle tense in his jaw and stepped forward, closing her fist around his hand, which was fumbling with the button on his jeans, and yanking him towards her. Lee staggered into her, off balance, his hands grasping her arms to steady himself, and she leaned in and kissed him hard. Just when he started to respond, Kara pulled back. She grinned at him, speaking slowly. “Need food, Apollo. ‘Cause I don’t know about you, but my stomach is planning a revolt if I don’t eat something ASAP.”

He blinked, his face changing to a sheepish expression. “Oh.”

Kara laughed and tapped his chest. “Besides, you seem to have forgotten about the part where you buy me dinner _first_ , flyboy. Just what kind of girl do you think I am, anyway?”

Lee tilted his head, shaking it slowly, but his eyes were laughing a little now. “You really want me to answer that?”

“Oh, shut up!” She slugged his arm and Lee caught her in a bear hug, walking her backwards till they hit the bed again.

They didn’t actually make it to dinner for another forty minutes. Kara’s stomach didn’t revolt, but it was a near thing.

****

“Shh!”

“OW!”

“Hey, keep it down.”

Another branch whacked Lee in the face.

“Kara!” he hissed. “Where the frak are we going?”

She was a few steps ahead, pushing through the bushes as though they were nothing but cloud vapors. Lee had scratches on his arms and face that proved otherwise. Her voice floated back to him. “I told you at dinner. It’s a shortcut.”

“Shortcut to where? You dragged me into the woods and you keep refusing to tell me where we’re headed! Why didn’t we stay on the path? I’m pretty sure that ‘keep off the grass’ means ‘stay out of the shrubbery too’.” She looked around at him and though her face was shadowed in the darkness, Lee was pretty sure Kara was rolling her eyes at him. He definitely heard her sigh.

“You ask an awful lot of questions, Lee.” She stepped closer to him, her eyes narrowing.

“Yeah, well, if you ever gave me a straight mmpfh—” His words were smothered by Kara’s hand clapping over his mouth.

“Zip it, okay? Now, come here.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him forward, shoving a heavy branch out of the way as they reached the edge of a clearing. She ducked down and yanked him behind a bush. Lee squinted out between the branches and saw they were at the perimeter of the South Air Field. Kara dropped her hand and Lee looked at her.

“What are we doing here?”

“You missed flying. So we’re gonna fly.” She shrugged.

“Please tell me the next part of this genius plan doesn’t involve us trying to hotwire a couple of Vipers.”

She snorted. “You’re hilarious when you’re pissy. No, smartass, sadly, even I don’t have the skills to get us airborne. We’re going there.” She pointed to the back of the building about fifty meters away where the flight simulators were kept.

“The sims? And that’s different from what we do every day, how?”

The moonlight glinted off Kara’s smile as she grinned wide. “You’ll see.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but Kara’s hand clapped over it again as she shushed him and pulled him down lower behind the foliage. Lee heard footsteps and a few seconds later an MP appeared, part of the regular patrol. Lee held his breath until the man passed and Kara finally pulled her hand away.

“Could you cut that out?” He licked his lips and grimaced. “Ugh, your hand’s all dirty.”

She smirked. “Funny. You weren’t complaining about that before. In fact you were pretty damn pleased with how dirty my hands were earlier.” She slid a palm up his thigh. “When we were at the restaurant, and I reached under the table--”

He flushed in spite of himself and was glad it was too dark for her to see it. “Kara—”

But her eyes had already flicked back to the MP, who had finally slipped out of sight around the building. “OK. Let’s go.” She took off running before he could blink and for a second he hesitated, unsure if he should follow. They could get busted for this. If they got caught, he could get banned from the graduation ceremonies, or thrown in hack, or they might revoke his admission to war college, which would have his dad raging even if Lee wasn’t sure he’d mind.

“Lee! Come on!” he heard Kara hiss in a loud stage whisper and his military training kicked in: never leave your leader. The next thing he knew he was running after her, coming up behind her as she shoved a low window open at the back of the building. She hooked a leg over the window sill and Lee grabbed her shoulder. “Kara, wait, there’s gotta be guards inside too.”

“Got it covered. Jimmy and I have an arrangement.” She shook his hand off and wriggled through the window, dropping down out of sight.

“Who the frak is Jimmy?” he called. There was no answer, so he groaned and followed her through. Kara was already halfway down the hall. He caught up quickly. “Kara, who’s Jimmy?”

“He’s head security man here. Gods don’t you know anyone on this campus that doesn’t have a fancy officer’s title in front of their name?”

Lee frowned. “Guess I don’t get around as much as you do, Starbuck.” He bit his cheek, knowing he shouldn’t push it, but unable to resist. “Exactly what kind of arrangement do you and this  _Jimmy_  have?”

Kara cut her eyes to him, her pace never slowing. “If that’s your way of asking if I’m frakking him Lee, just spit it out.”

His jaw tightened a little. “You frakking him?”

This time, she stopped, eyes boring into him. “None of your business.”

Lee bit his lip but didn’t break eye contact.

A slow tense minute passed and then suddenly Kara grinned. “Looks like you’ve got a bit of a jealous streak, Adama. I’ll have to remember that.” She turned and started off down the hall, not breaking stride as she tossed out over her shoulder, “Jimmy’s sixty-two and happily married. He’s got two adorable grandkids. And no, I ain’t frakking him.”

He kicked into gear, annoyed at the relief he felt at her words, and caught up with her as she pushed open the door to the massive room where they had flight training. It was dark and empty now. The room seemed even bigger than usual with just the electronic hum of the sims to break the quiet.

“So you do this a lot? Come here after hours and fly?” He wondered how many of the nights he’d assumed she was out racking up notches on her belt with some lucky marine she’d actually been here.

“Often enough.” She looked at him. “Takes the edge off sometimes.” She shrugged as they crossed the rooms to the sims. “Good practice too. How do you think I own all those records?” She gave him a little smug smile.

Being in a different class, Lee didn’t get many chances to fly against her, though he knew how good she was from things he’d heard from other cadets and instructors. He’d always assumed it was natural talent. Surely, that was part of it, but now he wondered how he’d misjudged Kara. He seldom saw her study, never saw her stress about classes or flying or any of it. He’d assumed she didn’t care. Apparently she worked as hard at flying as he did cracking the books. Lee shook his head. It was so  _her_  to hide it, pretend it didn’t matter.

“So if you’ve got full access, why’d we have to sneak into the building like that?”

“Jimmy can’t help us if the MPs catch us, and it’s not like he can let two students just waltz in the front after hours. But he leaves the sims room open for me a couple nights a week, and he got his staff to agree to basically look the other way if they see me.” He looked at her in surprise, and she tilted her head. “Hey, it’s the military, don’t ask, don’t tell, right?”

He grinned in spite of himself. “So what does he get in return?”

“I pay him a cut of my triad winnings and some good cigars every month.”

They walked to the nearest simulator and Kara pulled the curtain back, waving him in. He settled onto the seat. “So what are we flying? The Geminon Crawl? The Canceron Circuit?” Now that the endorphins rush of breaking into the building had passed by, Lee had to admit he was a tiny bit disappointed. Flying the sims was fine, even fun at times, but he did it every day. It hadn’t yet felt like it had that first time, and he doubted it would tonight either.

Kara looked at him, mischief twinkling in her eyes and tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Uh, not exactly. Strap in, Apollo, and enjoy the ride.”

She dropped the curtain and disappeared and Lee reached for the headset. They usually wore full flight suits and helmets in the trainers, since the approximated G-forces were nearly as intense as in a real cockpit. But apparently Kara didn’t bother with that. He settled the headset in place, and her voice crackled over the earpiece.

“Booting up in three.” He heard switches being flipped, and Lee powered up his surround-screen console as well. The console wrapped around in a 270-degree panorama, mimicking the view out of a Viper cockpit. The linkup to Kara’s simulator engaged. She was listed as the master controller, so he waited while she chose a program. The highlighted bar on his front screen scrolled past the usual options and stopped on a blank space at the very end of the list.

“This isn’t even a program,” he said.

“Just wait,” she said. The screen faded to black and the view cut in on an unfamiliar course, his Viper seemingly just outside Caprica’s orbit. Lee glanced around, trying to orient himself. He grasped the throttle, pushed the thruster pedal and eased forward, just as a big grey blur swooped across the screen from out of nowhere. “What the frak was that?!” he cried and heard Kara’s cackle, tinny in his ear.

“Wasn’t me.”

“No frakking kidding. What kind of program is this? I’ve never run this course before. And what was that thing? It wasn’t a Viper.”

“A little something I had a friend in the engineering corps work up for me. It’s an old program that the military retired a decade ago—with some modifications.”

His eyes watched as Kara’s Viper flew into his field of vision and took out another one of those big grey blobs. The angle was different this time and a distant memory of a book he had as a kid came to mind. “Is that a…”

“Cylon Raider? Bet your ass it is.” She let out a wild whoop as she took out another one. “I don’t know why the frak we’re not running these anymore. Way more useful than dogfights. You let your guard down and that’s when those frakkers are gonna waltz right back in.”

Lee pitched forward, the sim adjusting its angle as he roared out of the way of another Raider. These things were fast, much faster than the standard Mark III the sim programs used. He felt so slow in comparison as he pulled a barrel roll and lined up one in his sights. He fired and missed.

“C’mon, Apollo, kick in the burn! You need me to mop the floor for you or what?”

He gritted his teeth and the G-forces slammed through him as he turned into a defensive spiral, coming up perpendicular to one of the alien ships and getting a lock on it. Lee fired but the Raider somehow twisted away at the last second. He cried out in frustration.

“Their peripheral visual fields are strong, but their vertical acuity is compromised. Try an Aileron Roll into a Stall Turn then follow it with a Vertical Half-Loop and they probably won’t be able to catch you.” Kara’s voice crackled in his ear as she took out another one.

Lee’s eyes widened. “But you can’t stack three maneuvers like that, you’ll get a fuel warning before you’re halfway through that crowd.”

He heard the smugness in Kara’s tone when she replied. “Hey, it’s not a good run if you’re not landing on bingo fuel.” She paused to blast another one out of the sky then spoke again, weariness and a hint of condescension in her tone. “This is my sim, remember? Stop trying to fly by the seat of your textbook, Ace, and shut that big brain of yours off. Trust your instincts.”

Lee sucked in a breath and then throttled forward, his hand gripping the stick tightly as he pushed through the three maneuvers one after another. The red warning light didn’t flash and the alarm didn’t sound. The Raider came into his sights and the second he got a lock on it, he fired, blasting it into pieces. “Whoooooooooooooooo!” His breath rushed out and exhilaration flooded him as he repeated the trio of moves and blew away another one.

Kara was laughing over the headset but there was pride in her voice when she said, “Nice one, Apollo.” On the screen, his bird looped over and around hers in a little victory dance and when she glided forward slightly ahead of him and waggled her wings, he returned the gesture and pulled up next to her.

He couldn’t actually see Kara in the simulation, of course - unlike computer games, the flight training program didn’t even bother with avatars. But with the outline of her ship against the stars just beyond the reach of his wing and the sound of her voice in his head, something clicked into place. The doubts he’d had earlier drifted away; this was where he was meant to be.

As if on cue, Kara spoke again, but it was quieter this time, carrying a touch of solemnity he didn’t expect. Maybe even reverence. “How does it feel, Lee?”

“It feels….right.” He grinned, took another deep breath as the euphoria thrummed through him, then slammed down hard on the thrusters, roaring off ahead of Kara. “Catch me if you can, Starbuck.”

She gave chase and they were off, racking up Cylon kills in between taunts and bragging and bets. Lee soon lost count of the number of cigars he owed Kara or the number of shots she owed him. When the screen was clear of all enemy ships, the simulation powered down, and he leaned his head back against the seat, feeling boneless and content in a way he hadn’t felt—flying anyway—in ages.

A minute later, Kara slid the curtain open and leaned in. Her hair was slicked back, and he felt oddly triumphant that she seemed just as worn out as he was, but her eyes were bright and flashing. “So what do you think of my genius plan now, Lee?” She smirked. “Was it worth it?”

He stared at her. “Hell, yeah, it was.” Kara grinned one of those thousand-megawatt smiles that always made his breath catch and he reached for her. His hands closed on her hips and he tugged her all the way into the sim and down onto his lap. He slid a palm up her spine and over the sweat-damp fabric of her tanks to the nape of her neck and pulled her down to him, his mouth covering hers in a hungry, lingering kiss. Her hands pressed against his chest, her fingers curling slightly in his t-shirt. After a minute or two, he broke away, his eyes opening slowly to meet Kara’s heavy-lidded gaze.

“Thank you.”

She smiled again, softer this time, and slid her hands up to his shoulders, leaning into him and pressing a kiss to his forehead. His arms tightened around her and they sat there in silence for a few minutes, until Lee cocked an eyebrow at her. “How much time do we get in here, anyway?”

Kara shrugged. “Shift doesn’t change till 0200.” She must have caught the look on his face, because she smirked, lifting an eyebrow herself. “Got a genius plan of your own, Lee?”

He didn’t answer in words, but reached out and flipped on the sim program again, then pulled her closer, his hands sliding under her tanks and his mouth following suit. When the simulator started shaking again some time later, it had nothing to do with G-forces at all. 


	7. Opposite Corners

Lee was having a very bad day.

It had started at 0700 when he’d had to roll out from under warm sheets and even warmer Kara and haul on his dress uniform again (had the thing always been that… _constricting_?) to meet his Dad at the airfield. He’d been paraded around from one colonel’s office to another like a show pony, but all he’d heard about was the fabulous exploits of Husker and how he could never live up. That part had been unsaid of course, but it had been there underlying every other line the Old Man uttered.

By the time he’d sat through an awkward dinner and finally gotten back to the dorm, his palms ached from his fingernails cutting into his clenched fists and all he wanted was to crawl back into bed, wrap himself around Kara, and not move until he had to get up for graduation in 30 hours or so.

So naturally, when he got to her room, the door was locked and she didn’t answer. Frustrated, he started to head back to his room but nature called. He ducked into the head, took care of business and had just turned off the taps, when he heard his callsign drift out from the general cacophony over near the showers as the other cadets got ready to go out for the night.

“Apollo? No way.”

“Yeah. Crossbones saw them.”

“On the quad? Come on!” Lee, held his breath, straining to recognize the voices, yet grateful the wall next to him blocked him from sight. “I mean her? Definitely. Him? No frakking way!”

A deep baritone chuckle rolled out. “I’m telling you, man. John saw ’em going at it up against a tree. The MPs broke it up.”

The other guy grunted. “You know his old man’s here? You think she’s trying to frak her way up the ranks?” Lee’s eyebrows shot up and he nearly laughed out loud. As if Kara had any interest in cozying up to his dad for some sort of special treatment. Although…his dad  _had_  offered her a position on Galactica. But surely that had just been… his brow furrowed, thoughts trailing off as the baritone interrupted.

“Starbuck? Are you kidding? She’s racked up more time in hack for talking back to superior officers than any cadet in the past decade. I don’t think she’s worried about getting a hand up so much as getting a hand down her pants.” He snickered and Lee’s fingers curled into fists. “Must’ve worked through the rest of the Academy already if she’s down to that officious little prick.” He was sorely tempted to stomp around the corner and come out swinging, but a sick, twisted part of him was curious enough to stick around for the rest.

“Yeah, well, if it’s true, he’s a lucky guy. Buck’s hot stuff.”

“You hit that?”

“Bet your ass I did.” Lee heard the distinct slapping of palms and felt hatred and indignation ripple through him. “But she’ll chew Adama up and spit him out before breakfast.”

“If she lets him stay that long. Hey man, we better get moving. Party’s down on five tonight.” Lee heard a locker slam and edged quietly towards the door.

“Yeah. Hey, who knows? Maybe the very talented Starbuck’ll decide tonight’s  _your_ lucky night.”

A rush of anger made his face heat. On some level, Lee knew his fury was irrational, could tell himself those guys were just assholes. He had half a mind to wait for them, dole out a suckerpunch to the face as they each stepped through the door, but that wouldn’t solve anything, and with two-to-one odds, he’d probably just earn himself a trip to the infirmary. He slipped out the door having heard enough and stormed towards the stairs.

No, what he needed was to find Kara. Just find her and talk to her. Maybe kiss the frak out of her, too, and show them all that the only person getting anywhere near her pants tonight would be him. Kara might kick his ass for it, but it’d definitely be worth it. Lee wasn’t sure how, but he knew, some way, maybe instinctively, that if he could just see her, just touch her, he would feel so much better.

The cigar smoke was thick and the ambrosia was flowing freely when he stepped through the fifth floor’s common room door ten minutes later. His eyes scanned the room and he caught a flash of blonde through the crowd. Pushing forward, Lee headed for the corner and then pulled up short when a stocky raptor pilot moved out of his line of vision to reveal Kara in all her glory.

She was at the triad table, as usual. But what was certainly not usual—nor welcome—was the way she was perched on Karl Agathon’s lap, wearing just a tank and her briefs. He could only see her profile but Lee’s heart pounded a little bit harder just at the sight of her. She grinned suddenly, laughing as she slammed her cards down on the table. Kara leaned forward to rake in the pot as the guy sitting across from her, a junior Lee had seen in the sims a few times, pulled off his sweatshirt and dropped it on the floor.

Lee watched as Kara gave the guy a once over, then twisted to whisper something in Agathon’s ear. Her head was bent close to his and Lee’s vision darkened as he watched her bare leg swinging a little, brushing against Helo’s muscled calf. Her feet weren’t touching the ground and it’s not like he didn’t know—Lee knew,  _he knew_ —Agathon was a big guy, but there was something about the way his hand rested, fingers splayed wide, on the curve of Kara’s hip that made it hard for Lee to breathe suddenly. There was something familiar and possessive there, and he remembered bitterly Kara’s blithe mention of the times they’d hooked up in boot camp. Immediately, his skin felt too hot and his stomach lurched.

He was so caught up in watching her that he jumped when a hand closed on his arm and he looked up to see a familiar face smiling at him.

*****

“Read ‘em and weep, boys!” Kara crowed laying down her hand. “Full colors.” She swept an arm over the pile of cubits in the middle of the table, raking them towards her. “Your shirt too, Deadlock. Let’s see those pretty pecs!”

As the cadet shrugged out of his shirt and the cards were dealt, Kara’s gaze shot to Helo’s watch then flicked around the room. Though the party was hopping, she couldn’t help feeling a little bit restless. Even taking all the other cadets’ money at triad wasn’t holding its usual appeal tonight. Same old games, with the same old people. Minus one.

No,  _no_ , she told herself not for the first time in the last twelve hours. She wasn’t waiting, she thought, even as her gaze flicked to the door once more. Gods what was wrong with her? She didn’t need Lee Adama there to have a good time. That would be stupid. And pathetic. She wasn’t one of those dumb girls who couldn’t do anything without her boyfriend’s permission. Kara Thrace didn’t need anyone’s permission to have a good time.

And Lee wasn’t her boyfriend.

And she needed to stop thinking about this RFN.

Kara shifted and winced, almost losing her balance, and Helo reached out and grabbed her hip so she wouldn’t fall. Kara leaned back, close to his ear so he could hear her over the room’s buzz. “Gods, Karl, were your knees always this bony?”

He smirked. “Hey, don’t whine. You’re the one who planted your ass down because we were out of chairs. Besides, it’s not like you’re a feather, you know.”

She planted an elbow in his gut in retaliation. He protested and they bantered back and forth, but Kara’s gaze strayed over the crowd again. The room was packed, but no sign of Lee.  _Frak._  She  _was_  pathetic. And yet, she was still thinking about taking her pathetic self back to her own room. Maybe he’d stop by there, looking for her. Maybe…

Her thoughts were interrupted when Bingo’s loud cackle cut across the triad table. “Your pasty white chest is blinding me Deadlock. It’s a wonder you ever get laid.” The object of his taunts slugged him in the arm, but Bingo’s eye was caught by something across the room. He lifted his chin and said, “Maybe you need to take a lesson from Apollo.”

Kara’s head whipped around so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash. Sure enough, there he was, still in his dress blues. Apparently, he hadn’t even bothered to go change first. She felt her lips pulling up into a grin—maybe he’d been waiting all day too.

She was about to fold her less-than-stellar hand, slip off Helo’s lap and go to him, when the crowd shifted to reveal someone else beside him.

In one quick glance, she took it all in—the slim figure with the long sweep of dark hair whose hand was resting comfortably on Lee’s forearm. The way her head tilted as her braying laugh whinnied out above the din of the crowd.

Kara’s spine stiffened as she turned her attention back to her cards, and told herself that sinking feeling in her chest was nothing more than a reaction to her terrible hand. It had nothing at all to do with the smile that Lee was currently flashing at his ex.  _Pathetic._ So pathetic. Starbuck didn’t pine.

She reached for her beer and took a long swig, draining it before banging it back down on the table. “Alright, boys. The night is young. Let’s get serious, shall we? I wanna see some shorts on the floor.”

******

“So, how have you been Lee?”

Surprised, he paused, his brain still focused on what was happening across the room. It lasted a beat longer than was polite and Lee smiled at her to make up for it. It was good to see Mandy, good to focus on something other than the blood pounding in his veins as he watched Kara draped all over Helo. How had he never noticed how enormous Agathon was?

“Oh fine, fine. Uh and you? How did, uh,” Lee forced himself to turn his eyes away from the line of Kara’s throat as she tossed her head back and took a long pull from her beer bottle. He could never understand how she was able to make him so pissed off and so attracted to her in equal measure. He forced his attention back to Mandy. “…how did you do on finals?”

“Good I think.” Someone brushed by Mandy and she drifted closer, leaning in to Lee, automatically he slipped an arm around her waist to pull her out of the way. She raised an eyebrow but smiled at him, and he flushed and dropped his hand. “Ah, you know, they were tough. McAllister’s physics test was the worst I think. Did you…”

She went on, but it barely registered for Lee as his eyes flicked back to the triad table in the corner. He watched as Kara smirked at Agathon and Karl shook his head no, with a scowl on his face. His mouth tightened as she leaned back and placed a hand on Karl’s bare chest, leaning closer and closer—

He blinked as fingers snapped in front of his face. “Hey, where’d you go?” Mandy was frowning at him as he tried to focus. She turned to see what he’d been staring at and turned back to him, grimacing. “Ah. I should have known. Are you seeing her now?”

Now she had his full attention. “What? Who? I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Lee, please. Give me some credit.” She shook her head at him. “I should have known from the beginning. Everything was Starbuck this and Starbuck that.” She huffed a laugh that had no mirth. “I kept telling myself it was no big deal, she was just a friend. Then later it became Kara this and Kara that, and I kept telling myself there was no way you could be in love with her when you were with me.”

“Mandy, I…” he paused. The sharp instinct to deny it died on him, because what could he say? That he wasn’t in love with Kara? That they were just friends? One thing he’d always liked about Mandy was her ability to cut through the pretense in any situation. She deserved something better than a lie. “I’m sorry.”

Her face rippled for a moment and he felt like a heel, but Mandy just nodded. She stared at him for a few seconds, then leaned in suddenly and pressed her lips to his. It was short and chaste and familiar, the smell of her cherry lip-gloss stronger than the taste of it on his lips. It was unexpected though not entirely unwelcome. It was goodbye.

Mandy pulled away and smiled a bit sadly at him. “So am I.” She flicked a glance over her shoulder back towards Kara and Lee wondered if she was going to do or say something, cause a scene, though that wasn’t really her style. She was blocking his view so he couldn’t see Kara at all. But Mandy just turned back to him, a rueful expression on her face. “Good luck, Lee. I think you’re going to need it.”

He frowned, as she pushed by him and into the crowd, but didn’t follow her to question her parting comment. He didn’t need to. Mandy’s exit had left a clear line of sight to the triad table.

Kara was kissing Karl.

******

She focused her eyes on her cards, fighting the urge to turn her head and see what was happening. But across the table Bingo was still staring at Apollo. “Man, I don’t know why he ever broke it off with Bluebird. She’s so frakking hot. He’s must be out of his godsdamned mind.”

Kara felt her nerves prickle with irritation. Gods, what was wrong with her? Was this seriously jealousy? She had never,  _ever_ , in her life, been jealous over a guy before. Sure, she hadn’t liked Mandy much (that voice of hers alone could make you want to drive a knife through your ear, and she had always been nagging Lee about something or the other), but she hadn’t been jealous. Had she?

Kara grabbed two cards randomly and tossed them to the discard pile. “Well, looks like he’s coming to his senses now,” Deadlock chimed in, chuckling. She wasn’t looking, wasn’t looking, wasn’t look—

 _Frak it._  She turned and saw Lee slide his arm around Mandy’s waist to pull her closer. And… my Gods, was he blushing? She sucked in a breath and twisted, snapping her eyes forward again. Kara concentrated on breathing as she picked up the new cards she was dealt.

“All I see is two people talking,” Karl interjected and Kara felt his hand on her back. She blinked hard. Frakking Karl and his compassion. “Now, are we gossiping like fishwives or are we playing frakking cards?” Deadlock called the hand and everyone placed their cards face up on the table. Kara’s lack of attention on the discard had netted her a useless jumble of a hand. She didn’t even have two on a run.

As she reached for the hem of her outer tank, Bingo said, “Hey hold on a minute. We said this hand was Winner’s Choice.”

“When the frak was this?” Kara said, indignantly. “I didn’t hear anything about that.”

“You may have been, uh… distracted taking in the scenery,” Helo said in a lowered voice.

Great. Just what she needed. No doubt, he’d make her lose the briefs. And she’d have to sit around bare-assed—on Helo’s lap no less—while Lee chatted up that… No, no, she did not give a flying frak what Lee did. They hadn’t made any promises. Besides she was probably just jumping to conclusions. So he put his arm around the girl, so what? It’s not like they were…

Kissing. Lee was kissing her. Kara’s thoughts trailed off as she stared openly now, having been unable to resist sneaking another glance. He was kissing her. She closed her eyes, immediately twisting back to the table.

“Hey Starbuck, you falling asleep, already? What happened to the night is young?”

“Shut the frak up Bingo and just call your bet in.” Her tone was sharp and she could feel Karl eying her but she didn’t look at him. “What do you want?”

The cadet leaned back in his chair, puffing on a cigar, an insufferably smug look on his face. Kara had never really liked him that much. “I think this party could use a little excitement. I think you should lay a big wet smackaroo on our buddy Karl here.”

She stared at him, her mouth dropping open a little. Seriously, he wanted her to kiss Karl? What were they twelve? “No frakking way” was on the tip of her tongue, but the image of Lee kissing Mandy was still stuck in her head and what came out instead was “Fine.”

She turned toward Helo, who leaned back shaking his head emphatically. “No, no way. Diora will kill me.”

She raised an eyebrow and leaned into him, laying a hand on his chest. “C’mon Karl. You’ve dated her all of twice. She hasn’t snapped the leash on yet, has she?” She smirked. “You used to know how to have fun.” She wiggled an eyebrow at him.

He sighed, frustrated. “And what about you Kara?” Karl leaned forward, lowered his voice. “What about Apollo?”

Her jaw tightened. “Well considering he’s across the room sucking face with his ex, I don’t think that really matters anymore.” She felt her gut churn at the words even while she was saying them.

Helo’s eyes widened at her words and he turned his head towards Apollo’s direction. “Kara, he’s not—“

But she didn’t wait for his answer, just reached out and grabbed his jaw, turning his face and smacking her lips into his. It was all for show, no heat and definitely no tongue, but she put some effort into making it look good, tilting her head, hands stroking his face.

She hoped Lee was watching.

******

He was staring. Slackjawed and disbelieving, Lee watched Kara kissing Karl. Watched her body curling into him, pressing him back against his chair, the same way she’d kissed him in the sims last night. Watched her hands, the ones that had roamed just about every inch of  _his_  body the past few days, caressing Helo’s face. Watched her lips pressing into his and felt a lump the size of a pyramid ball form in his throat. Lee could barely breathe suddenly.

He pivoted, shoving his way through the crowd. He staggered out of the party, down the five flights to the ground floor and into the parking lot, fresh air filling his lungs and making him feel halfway human again. Doubled over, hands on his knees, Lee sagged and stayed that way.

He closed his eyes, but that was no good, because all he saw was Kara kissing Karl. Lee felt like such a fool. All day he’d been miserable, just waiting for her. But clearly, she hadn’t been waiting for him. Kara didn’t need him at all.

Lee had watched and waited for Kara for years—he’d only realized it recently, but it was true. He’d watched the parade of other guys she’d drag home from the bars and then dispatch without so much as a second thought. And still, he’d foolishly thought that it would be different with him. That what they had together was so much more than that. Clearly, he’d been wrong.

His jaw clenched, the anger pulsing in his veins. Yet again, he wasn’t enough.

He thought he should be used to it by now.

******

“Kara, what the frak are you doing?” Helo hissed as soon as her lips left his. Kara ignored him as she turned a defiant gaze in Lee’s direction, but no one was there.

“Hey, HEY!” Helo said, catching her chin in his hand and yanking her back to face him. “I don’t know what kind of game you two are playing but don’t you dare use me as your pawn.”

Kara froze. He was right. “Shit, I’m sorry, Karl.” Gods she wanted to hit something so bad. No, she wanted to hit _someone_. And why the frak did he get to walk away from this? Like it all meant nothing. Fury rolled through her.

Kara scrambled off Karl and picked up her clothes, pulling them on and ignoring the other cadets’ queries of where she was going. “Lunch on me tomorrow, Helo, OK?” She didn’t wait for his response, just slipped across the room and out the door. The hallway was deserted and she took the stairs two at a time, racing out the front door, adrenaline pumping through her. She didn’t have to go far. Lee was doubled over, hands on his knees, at the bottom of the front steps. She marched over, hands on her hips.

“Leaving so soon?” Kara’s voice was tight with fury. “What’s the problem? Not crazy about the entertainment?”

He straightened slowly, scowling. “I’m surprised you even noticed, Kara, with your lips glued to Agathon that way.”

She felt a flash of anger shoot through her and barked a harsh laugh. “Well, that’s pretty ironic,  _Lee_. Considering you were the one making out with your ex not five minutes ago.” She looked around the darkened lot. “Where is Miss Perfect, anyway?”

“Making out?! I was not—” she turned with interest, watching as his eyebrows threatened to climb into his hairline. “She kissed me! That was a goodbye.”

She paused. Had she read it wrong? She sure as hell had never kissed a friend goodbye like that. Kara stepped closer, arms crossed against her chest defensively. “Well,  _that_  was a bet.”

“You were half-naked on his lap.” He spit the words at her, thrusting a hand through his hair. The little section over his ear that she’d missed with the scissors stuck up, standing on end. And Kara knew she was crazy, because even in the midst of this argument, her fingers positively itched to reach out and smooth it down. Her body’s betrayal further irritated her.

“OK, for the frakking record? There weren’t any chairs left. And we were playing strip triad. So—” she stopped. “No, you know what? Frak this. I don’t have to explain myself to you.” She stared at him, eyes hard. “I don’t owe you anything.”  _You didn’t ask me for anything._

His nostrils flared. “Of course. ’Cause what we had was nothing.  _Just sex_.”

Kara rocked back slightly, a churning in the pit of her stomach. Right. She’d known that all along. Hell, that was what had made the whole thing seem possible. She’d practically thrown herself at him in that snooty restaurant, promising herself that it didn’t have to mean anything, that they could do this and she wouldn’t let herself  _expect_ anything. And she’d forgotten the rules. Again and again. She’d been so stupid, believing that maybe, he might even—

Her stomach twisted and her eyes stung but she was still Starbuck, so she tamped it down. Frak if she was gonna look like any more of an idiot. She set her jaw and met his eyes and shrugged. “Those  _were_  your words, Lee.”

His face hardened, the muscle in his jaw twitching and angry eyes flashing. “Just a little ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’? Those were  _your_ words, weren’t they, Kara?” he growled and she lifted her chin, refusing to feel ashamed. She was so busy pretending it didn’t hurt, she didn’t even see the suckerpunch coming.

“Guess I’m just another notch on Starbuck’s well-worn bedpost.”

******

His words hadn’t quite echoed but they’d been awfully loud in the deserted, darkened lot. Kara was staring at him, speechless for once, her face going pale even under the harsh fluorescent lights. A tiny flare of shame kindled in Lee but it was suffocated under the anger and bitterness and pride.

She wasn’t speechless for long. “So that’s what this is? Gods, I am such an idiot. You know I wondered why. Why me? Why now, finally? And now I get it.” Kara’s eyes were wide and wet and wounded, but her voice was pure gravel. “This was your last chance, right? To see what it was all about? Get a piece of Starbuck because everyone else has.”

Lee closed his eyes, exhaling hard. This was all wrong. Everything was going wrong. “Kara,” he said, reaching out a hand towards her arm. 

She shrugged off his touch, her lips tightening into a grim line as she moved closer. He could feel her breath on his face and her eyes were wide and luminous and he wondered for a second if she was going to kiss him or kill him. “Frak you, Lee.” So it was the latter. Kara’s voice was full of loathing and she laughed a harsh chuckle. “No, you know what? Frak me. Cause you already did, right?” 

Her voice broke a little on the last words and Lee tried to breathe. Everything they said was making it worse. The panic and the anger were coursing through him in equal measure and he didn’t know what to do. 

Kara decided it for him. She took a step backwards, then another. “Well don’t worry. I’m sure you can forget all about how you slummed it for a weekend. Go back to Mandy and War College and your perfect little world, okay? Have a great life, Lee Adama."

He watched her turn and stride across the lot and felt the anger bristle through him again. But the panic took hold again too and he wondered if this was it, if this was how they were really going to end it. “KARA!” he called. She didn’t turn, didn’t even slow her stride. Godsdamnit, she was so frakking stubborn. Well, if that was how she wanted it, then fine. His life was fine before he ever met Kara Thrace. Surely, it would be after her too. Lee turned around and headed in the opposite direction, the sound of his footsteps loud in the darkness. 


	8. Friendly Advice

_Boom, boom, boom!_

Lee’s eyes shot open and he groaned. He flicked a glance automatically at his alarm clock. It read 0730, yet it felt like he’d just managed to close his eyes minutes ago. He’d trudged back to the dorm at nearly 0300 after wandering aimlessly around the base for a few hours last night. But when he’d crawled into bed, Lee had spent hours tossing and turning and not sleeping, because every time he shut his eyes he saw the look on Kara’s face when he’d made that awful crack about her bedpost.

 _Boom, boom, boom!_

He was going to kill whoever was trying to knock down his door. Who the hell was that obnoxious at this hour? His eyes popped open in shock. Lee lunged out of bed and wrenched the door open. “Ka—”

The word died on his lips as his brother slugged him on the shoulder with a big grin. “Hey, it’s about time you opened up! Thought I was going to have to get the MPs to make sure you were still conscious in there.” He pushed past Lee and plopped down in his desk chair, kicking his legs up onto the desk and taking in the mass of tangled and twisted sheets on Lee’s rack. He raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his face. “Interesting night?”

Lee blew out a hard breath and rubbed a hand across his forehead, letting the door swing shut behind him. A dull ache was starting to pound in his temples. “Rough night.”

Zak’s eyebrow twitched higher and his grin widened. “Sounds like fun.”

“Not particularly,” Lee grumbled, his irritation ticking higher at his little brother’s toothy grin. “And what the frak do you know about rough nights anyway?”

“Hey, I’ve got game, thank you very much.”

“You’re sixteen!”

Zak rolled his eyes. “And you were how old when I caught you making out with Stacy D’Orrico on Mom’s bed?”

“That was totally different.” Lee blushed, narrowing his eyes. “I was seventeen.”

“Yeah, whatever. I still haven’t forgiven you for that, you know. I’d been working on her for months and you just swept in and stole her out from under me.”

“You didn’t have a shot in Hades with Stacy.” Lee snorted. “You were still in junior high.”

“Another two weeks of the Adama charm and I would’ve had her,” he grumbled.

Lee stared at his brother, managing to preen and pout at the same time, and just laughed as some of his bad mood leeched away. “So what are you doing here anyway?”

“Dad had to go over to Fleet headquarters for a meeting and Mom won’t be crawling out of bed ’til at least noon,” he frowned, then brightened visibly. “So I figured I’d hang out with my big brother. You can take me to breakfast, show me around. Tell me all your dirty secrets so I’m ready for next year.”

Lee shrugged. He’d missed his brother and it was better than brooding. “Fine.” He grabbed a change of clothes and stripped off his T-shirt and shorts, slipping into new ones, when Zak said, “Whoa” and whistled a long, low tone.

He paused, turning. “What?”

“Speaking of dirty secrets,” he said, nodding as he shot a pointed glance Lee’s groin. “Looks like you had some interesting nights after all.” Zak leaned over and nudged Lee’s knee with his elbow. “Someone’s been marking her territory, eh?”

Lee looked down and saw the string of hickeys Kara had left creeping up his left thigh the other night. He flushed. Had she really been…marking her territory as Zak so crudely put it? She did make an awful lot of digs at Mandy and she’d been so quick to assume last night that he was getting back together with her. Why hadn’t Kara just listened to him, though, instead of accusing him? He felt an immediate wave of anger and guilt sweep over him as he yanked on his pants. “Doesn’t matter. It’s over.” Saying the words out loud made his gut flip a little.

Zak was staring at him with a look of disapproval. “Alright, what’d ya do?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He buttoned his fly. “Besides, how do you know  _I_ did anything?”

“You must have pissed off the hot blonde somehow. You wouldn’t be so cranky if you were still getting laid,” he snickered.

Lee bit back a four-letter word. “She’s got a name, you know.”

“Oh excuse me. So what did you do to piss off the positively smoking  _Kara Thrace_ , you dumb frakker?”

Lee tugged on a sweatshirt and sighed, dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed. He might as well tell him. Zak would be relentless, bugging him all morning till he gave it up. “I ran into Mandy at a party last night and Kara saw her kiss me, which was totally innocent, and she jumped to the wrong conclusion. Thought I was getting back with her. So then she kissed her ex but it turned out to be a bet and…”

Zak was staring at him in confusion and Lee just shook his head, feeling tired and a bit like a junior high student himself. “You know what, it was just stupid. I was already in a bad mood because of Dad trotting me around to his buddies all day, and there were these guys I ran into talking about us, about how she gets around and what the hell would she be doing with me, and… Gods, I just couldn’t stop thinking about her and I thought, you know, maybe she felt the same way. But then I walked into that party, and saw her all over this other guy. I just…I lost it, all this stuff started coming out of my mouth that I didn’t even mean…” he trailed off as Zak shot him another look. “But she was wrong too!”

It was a lame protest, even to his own ears and now it was Zak’s turn to shake his head. “You are pitiful, you know that right? I mean, why in the world were you messing around with that prissy bitch ex of yours when you had a total fox—sorry, _Kara_ —in your bed?” Zak looked incredulous. “You know, sometimes I wonder if you’re adopted. You look good, but man, how does  _my brother_ manage to have positively no game?”

Indignation filtered through him as Lee yanked on his socks and boots. “I have game. Didn’t you just remind me that I stole Stacy out from under your nose?”

“Uh-huh. And let me also remind you that she dumped your ass three days later for that linebacker.”

Lee glared at him. “Maybe I’ll take you to the shooting range.”

Zak laughed, rocking back carelessly in the chair. “I know what your problem is, big brother.”

“You do? Great. Enlighten me, oh wise one.”

“I bet you did what you always do. You get a good thing going and then you start getting all paranoid and obsessive and you start overthinking it and you blow it.”

It hit a little close to home and Lee felt restless suddenly, standing up and pacing in the small space next to his rack. “Look it doesn’t matter anyway. What I had with Kara was…” he gulped, swallowing hard. “It was just sex.” He was beginning to think those were the ugliest words in the spoken language.

To his shock, Zak started laughing. “Yeah right.”

“What does that mean, ‘yeah, right’?”

Zak stopped laughing, and let the chair rock back down to the floor hard, a smug look on his face. “It’s not just sex.”

“And just how the hell would you know that?” Lee felt the annoyance mount again. “Look, you met Kara for all of an hour over lunch. You may think you’re an expert at relationships but you’re not an expert on her. Kara Thrace hooks up with guys and then she bounces. She doesn’t do relationships.”

“Fine, I don’t know Kara,” Zak said. “But I know you. You don’t have relationships that are ‘just sex.’ You take things so damn seriously all the time. You’re kind of incapable of letting loose that way.” He paused, his eyes scrutinizing Lee’s face. “Just look at you. You’re all wound up over this. I bet you didn’t sleep at all last night.”

Lee was silent, but he couldn’t deny that it was true. He stared miserably at the carpet. “It would be different if she was just some girl, you know. But Kara’s. . . She’s my best friend and I’m leaving and. . .” he closed his eyes, took a deep breath. “I don’t want to lose her. Not now, not like this.”

Zak stared at him with pity. “Look, if she means so much, why don’t you just swallow some of that pride you’re choking on and apologize to her? When in doubt, man, even if you’re not sure you did anything wrong—always apologize. It’s like the number one rule when it comes to chicks.” Lee shrugged sullenly and Zak rolled his eyes. “Hey and for what it’s worth, the way you were smiling at her when you guys came back into the restaurant Sunday? I never once saw you look at Miss Priss that way.”

Lee dropped his head into his hands and just focused on breathing for a few minutes. Slowly, he lifted his head. “I’m in love with her.” He felt a little bubble of relief at uttering the words, at telling someone finally, even if he couldn’t say it to Kara, and a harsh little chuckle escaped. “Completely and totally in love with her. And I have been for. . .Gods, I don’t even know how long.” He shook his head, shooting a pained glance at his brother. “And she doesn’t feel the same.”

Zak frowned. “You’re sure about that? Because the way she stuck up for you with Mom and Dad was pretty—”

“Wait! The way she what?”

“At lunch, after you stomped out—nice scene, by the way, I thought Mom was gonna choke on her—”

“ZAK!”

“Right, sorry. Anyway, yeah after you left, she got up and gave this little speech about how Mom and Dad should be proud of what a great man you already are instead of nagging you so much about your future.”

Lee stared in shock. “Kara said that?”

Zak nodded. “And man, you should have seen the looks on their faces! They were. . .” But Lee had stopped listening. Kara had stuck up for him? Maybe she was just being a good friend, but the idea of her facing down his parents like that. . .for some reason, it kindled a little flame of hope in him.

“Anyway, she was pissed, man. Really angry at them for riding you. Then she went after you and brought you back and sat through the rest of that gods-awful lunch. Kept watching you too.”

“She did?”

“Yup. You really weren’t sleeping with her?”

“No, not then.”

“Hmm.” Zak looked thoughtful for a minute, then grinned brightly. “Well, the way I figure it, if Kara was freely and willingly hanging with our dysfunctional family and she’s NOT your girlfriend? Yeah, she’s gotta be pretty crazy about you.”   

Lee just stared at his little brother for a minute, trying to process. Could Kara really want more? It seemed so impossible, but maybe. . . Although he’d probably ruined it now anyway. Frak. He had to apologize. Had to at least talk to her. Whatever this was, or could be, he didn’t want to end it like this.

Lee took a long look at Zak, smug and grinning, and shook his head. Getting schooled by his sixteen-year-old brother about relationships. He should be embarrassed, but he was actually kind of proud. He’d missed being a big brother.

Zak got up from the chair, stretching and stomping all over the moment. “This little heart-to-heart was great and all, but can we get breakfast now? I could eat a frakking cow.”

Lee stood and cuffed his brother’s head lightly, ruffling his hair and catching him in a quasi-headlock. “Yeah, yeah. So how’d you get to be so smart anyway?”

Zak grinned and threw an arm around his brother’s back. “Good genes, I guess.”

*****

“That’ll be 27 cubits,” the clerk said, with a snap of her gum.

Kara’s eyes widened behind her dark glasses as she dug the offending amount out of her pocket. Cripes, she’d never spent so much on lunch in her life. She grabbed the tray and strode over to the table where Karl was sitting, plunking it down in front of him and lifting off her sandwich from a corner of it. That just left the two burgers, double order of fries and extra-large milkshake for him. Just looking at all of it was making her stomach turn. Still, she figured all that would keep Karl’s mouth too busy to ask many questions about last night.

Her mind automatically skipped back to the stupid fight but Kara shut her brain down, picking at her own sandwich, even though she barely registered the taste. Blissful silence reigned as they chewed and swallowed, but soon Helo had polished off most of his enormous lunch and was sitting back in his chair, just staring at her.

“What?” Kara squirmed. “Don’t even tell me you want dessert after—”

“Nice shades.” He cackled.

She winced, as her head pounded. “Do you have to be so frakking loud?”

“Loud? I’m not—” Helo’s eyes narrowed into a scrutinizing glare. He picked up a couple fries and pried the cover off his cup, dunking them in the milkshake and holding the dripping mess out to her. Kara looked away, nearly gagging.

A smug grin stretched over his face as he popped them in his own mouth. “Feeling a little green around the gills this morning, are we? What time?”

She frowned in confusion, resisting the overwhelming urge to rest her head on the table. “What?”

“What time did Jake kick you out of the bar last night?

“Does it still count as night if the sun’s up?”

“Kara…” He sighed. “So what happened? What was all that?”

So much for hoping she’d be saved by a food coma. Maybe she could just apologize and change the subject. “I was a jerk. I should have listened to what you said about Diora. I know you really like her. Are you guys getting together later?”

 “Uh-huh. Apology accepted. Now what was it really about?”

She shrugged a shoulder, looked away. “I don’t know what you mean—”

“Oh Kara, come on, cut the crap. You were pissed about Apollo, right?” Helo picked up another fry, waggling it at her and smirking. “You muttered something about him and his ex and the next thing I knew you were pawing my face like an animal at the zoo.”

She rolled her eyes. “I was not  _pawing your face_ , Karl. And Lee was kissing Mandy! And you were just. . .there.” She shrugged, frowning a bit ruefully now. “Sorry.”

Helo’s eyes went wide. “Wait, are you telling me you were jealous? Kara Thrace, the queen of lovin’ and leavin’ ’em finally got bit by the green-eyed monster?”

 Kara glared at him. “I wasn’t jealous. I don’t get jealous. I was just…angry.”

“Angry?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding emphatically. “Because…” she thought quickly, “he can do better.”

Helo nodded too, sucking on the straw of his drink. “Mmm, like a certain blonde viper jock better?”

Kara tried to look nonchalant. “Whatever. He can do whatever—or  _whoever_ —he wants,” she said, hev voice dropping as something twisted in her gut. She forced the words out. “It’s none of my concern.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You seemed pretty concerned last night. I thought you were gonna give yourself a hernia trying to watch the action.”

She shrugged, tearing small strips off the sandwich wrapper in front of her, eyes fixed stubbornly on the table. Helo leaned in, his hands covering hers and stilling them, and she looked up reluctantly. “Hey, there’s no one here but me, alright? Whatever it was, it made you jeal—,” he broke off at her hard look, “ _angry_  enough to try to clear out Jake’s inventory singlehandedly. So why are you trying so hard to pretend this doesn’t matter to you?”

“Because you’re going to say it, aren’t you?  _I told you so, Kara. I knew you couldn’t handle it.”_ She shook his hands off and shoved the paper wrapper aside, annoyed. “I am such an idiot. I don’t know why I thought he could possibly— All he wanted was what every guy wants. Because he told me that right from the start. Said it was just sex.”

“And that’s a problem suddenly?” Helo raised an eyebrow. “Because I thought that was pretty much a requirement with you.”

“It is! It was. I—” she pinched the bridge of her nose. “ _Frak_. What the hell is wrong with me?” 

He grinned. “Out of courtesy for your altered state, I’m gonna be a bigger man and let that one fly.”

“Ha. Ha.” Kara rolled her eyes, leaning forward and lowering her voice. “But seriously, this? Is not me! I don’t get attached. I don’t get  _jealous_!” She hissed the word with as much disdain as possible. “And this is  _Lee_! He’s one of my best friends. I don’t even know why I ever thought this could work. I never should have started this, because now I’m…” she broke off, eyes wide, shaking her head, “unable to shut my frakking mouth apparently.” She kicked the leg of the table, then grabbed her forehead, slumping back in her chair and muttering, “Frak me, I don’t even know who I am anymore.

“Kara, did you even stop and consider that maybe you’re wrong? Maybe this  _is_  you?” Karl stared at her, his lips curving into a smirk. “You in  _loooove_.” 

She didn’t answer, just swallowed hard, unable to hold his gaze.

“Whoa, hold on,” she could hear the surprise in Karl’s voice. “Are you in love with him, Kara?”

She felt cold all over suddently. “I can’t be.” The words were breathed in horror, tumbling out before she could stop them. Oh Gods. “I mean, even if I was—and I’m not saying I am,” Kara said, face defiant, “he doesn’t want me anyway. Not like that. I mean, sex is one thing, but…” She shook her head, wondering how the hell she’d gotten herself into this mess. “Crap, maybe I am just as stupid as Mama always said.”

His lips tightened into a grim line. “You know, if I ever meet your mother in a dark alleyway…”

“Yeah, well, she was a marine sergeant, Helo,” she said, her tone sardonic and bitter. “No offense, but trust me, she could probably take you.”

“I’m not talking about hitting her. She did a lot more damage to you than just some broken bones, Kara.” Karl leaned closer, his face hard. “Planted some kind of crazy notion in that head of yours that you don’t deserve to be happy.” Kara frowned, her eyes flicking down to the table again.

He sighed. “Now, I don’t know what kind of frakked-up arrangement you two headcases have worked out, but I’ll tell you this: if you want a relationship with him, then go for it. That guy is head over heels for you, and he has been ever since first term.”

She raised an eyebrow at that. “Lee? Lee Adama?” she snorted. “Yeah, right. Have you seen the kind of girls he dates, Helo?”

“When you got that lung infection last year and couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks, not only did he go to every one of your classes to get your assignments, but he even read you those poli-sci chapters when you whined you were too weak to hold the textbook.”

Kara shrugged, flushing a little. “It’s Lee. He feels about homework the way other guys feel about orgasms.” She nearly winced over her bad choice of words, because that joke wasn’t all that funny anymore now that she knew exactly what his face looked like when he… She shook the idea away.

Helo sighed. “Uh-huh, and when Junker broke his leg, Lee took his spot on our pyramid team for two months even though he was terrible and he hated every second of it.

“He didn’t hate it. Who hates pyramid?”

“He hated it!” Helo howled with laughter. “And he was terrible. How many times did he score in our goal rather than the other team’s?”

 “Okay, he was pretty awful,” she laughed. “But that had nothing to do with me, he was just being competitive. He didn’t want Delta Barracks to win the tournament.”

“Ri-ight,” Helo said, smirking. “Nothing to do at all with the way you turned those big puppy dog eyes on him, all ‘C’mon Lee, you’ve got all those muscles, let’s put ’em to good use.’ ” His voice was high and breathy and he fluttered his eyes as he simpered.

“I DID NOT sound like that!” She kicked Karl’s shin under the table hard and he groaned, rubbing the injury even as his laughter quieted and he turned a more serious gaze at her.

“Kara, when you walked into the room the other night in that dress? He was looking at you like there wasn’t enough oxygen left in the universe.” She felt a flush of pleasure at the words, before it was quickly replaced by disappointment. If she hadn’t worn that stupid getup, hadn’t been so damn set on the idea of making Lee regret what he’d tossed aside… and gods, her ridiculous plan had worked only too well. And now she was the one with regrets.

 _Just sex._  It had sounded so simple. And she’d still managed to screw it up. She caught sight of the clock on the far wall and pushed her sunglasses up to see the time. Almost twenty hours to graduation. Almost forty hours till he left. For good.

“Whoa.” Her attention flicked to Helo, who was staring at her, his mouth open. “You look awful.”

“Thanks, Helo,” she said, jerking the glasses back down. “You’re a real comedian today.”

“And you’re pretty miserable. Why don’t you just go talk to him, Kara? Tell him you want a real relationship.” He balled up a napkin, eyes never leaving hers. “Before all the drama at the party last night, you couldn’t stop smiling. You were happier than I’ve ever seen you.”

She swallowed hard, her lunch feeling like lead in her stomach. “Because it doesn’t change anything, Karl.” The day she watched her father’s car pull away from their house she’d learned her lesson that  _your_ happiness didn’t mean much when someone wanted to leave. “It’s too late now. Besides, he’s leaving in another day. He probably can’t wait to get the hell out of here and away from my brand of crazy.”

He stared at her, a frown forming. “It’s really that impossible for you, isn’t it?” she shook her head, unsure of what he meant, but Helo went on. “To believe that someone could actually love you?”

She froze, then looked away. “Hey, hey,” Karl’s hand was under her chin, lifting it so she could see the dopey smile he wore. “I’ve known you a lot longer than Adama has, and I know pretty much all your dirty secrets, and I love you.”

Her eyes went wide behind the sunglasses. In the five years they’d known each other, they never said that kind of stuff. “Th-that’s different.”

“Not so much. You’re underestimating him, Kara.” He dropped his hand to her shoulder and squeezed. “And you’re underestimating yourself. You deserve to be happy.” He picked up the tray, piling all the garbage on it and stood up. “I gotta go finish packing up, but think about what I said, huh?”

Kara just nodded slowly, then before she knew what she was doing she was standing up and throwing her arms around his waist. She squeezed tight and felt Karl’s free hand rubbing her back, as he leaned down and whispered. “Easy now, we don’t want start any more rumors. Your boyfriend may have a lot of muscles, but  _him_  I’m pretty sure I can take in a fight.” 

“I don’t know ,” she laughed, sniffing a bit as she let go and smiled up at Karl. She poked a finger into his stomach. “Odds might be in his favor since  _he_ probably didn’t just eat half his weight in French fries.”

They bantered about his appetite all the way back to the dorms and Kara’s headache was nearly gone as she finished her own packing. She did think about the things Karl had said. Could Lee really be in love with her? It still seemed impossible. And even if he did, how would a relationship even work? They’d be on different planets in a few days. And she had no idea how to be anyone’s girlfriend. But gods, she missed him. Maybe she should at least talk to him, try to settle this so he didn’t leave with things still all frakked up between them. If nothing else they were friends, and that was something worth holding on to.


	9. Hearts on Fire

_“…As we welcome this new class of ensigns, who will safeguard our civilization and shepherd us to a brighter tomorrow, and place in their capable and eager hands the keys to the future...”  
_  
It was a beautiful day for a graduation.

The sun was shining, the sky was a clear blue, and the Colonial flags were swaying in the pleasant breezes sweeping across the Picon airfield. Nearly 160 graduates and their parents and friends were assembled to watch the dress procession and the speeches from local dignitaries and the flyby, which was soon to commence.

 _“Duty. Honor. Loyalty. These are the watchwords of the Colonial Fleet. For the special few, who choose to wear the uniform…”_

Lee shifted restlessly on his chair, his leg bouncing as he surreptitiously checked his watch. Despite the beauty of the day and the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony, he couldn’t focus on any of it. All he could think about, like always lately, was Kara. Namely, that he still hadn’t gotten a chance to make things right with her. And time was running out.

After he’d dropped Zak off at the hotel, he’d tried her phone, knocked on her door. No answer. And there’d been no trace of her at the off-campus bars last night either. He’d even swung by the sims building to no avail. Lee had considered hanging out in front of her door till she came home but his pride had insisted that would be too pathetic even for him.

He’d thought maybe he’d see her this morning before the ceremony but his parents had dragged him out to breakfast where they’d shockingly managed to get along without incident. His mom had ordered her orange juice straight, and his dad had awkwardly congratulated him, even told Lee he was proud of him. He wasn’t sure what had caused their epiphany, but he wondered if it might have had something to do with Kara’s little speech that Zak had mentioned. And that only made him miss her more.

 _“…the bonds you form here are not merely bonds of friendship, but the bonds of solidarity, of brotherhood, of family. These are the relationships you will carry with you for the rest of your life.”_

The rest of his life. _Without her._  Lee’s eyes skipped from the valedictorian to his watch again. Less than 20 hours left before he boarded that shuttle. All he could think about was how stupid this fight was and how endless this damned ceremony was and how even when it was over, he’d still have to sit through a torturous lunch with his family, and Kara wouldn’t even be there to kick his ankle under the table every time Zak did something stupid.

Lee was brooding so heavily that he missed the superintendent of the Academy announcing the flyby. It was only when the vipers roared overhead that he looked up, watching as the planes dipped and swirled over the crowd in tight formations, showing off the exercises they’d learned in their classes.

As they made their final pass, the lead plane, Starbuck’s plane, suddenly broke from the pack, diving down almost perpendicular to the ground in a death-defying drop spiral. The crowd around him burbled with surprise and alarm as the plane careened downward at an alarming speed, a crash seeming imminent, but Lee just grinned as, at the last possible moment, she spun into a barrel roll then soared high again to rejoin formation. He knew there was no way Colonel Davos had approved that maneuver and he laughed out loud, ignoring the strange looks from his fellow cadets. Only Starbuck would be insane enough to pull a move like that. Pride and longing flooded through him. Gods, she was one of a kind.

Suddenly, Lee knew there was nothing more important to him than fixing this rift immediately. Right after the ceremony. His family could wait, but he had to talk to her, even if he had to chase her all over campus. He had to tell her how sorry he was about the fight, but also, how much she meant to him. That he didn’t just want to be frak buddies. That he wanted everything, all of her, her whole heart.

And he wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

***

By the time Kara was done in the showers, all the other pilots had cleared out of the changing room. She tightened her towel and swung her locker open, reaching down for her clothes when footsteps sounded behind her. Kara straightened, the mirror on the door catching the intruder’s reflection, and she froze. Earnest blue eyes leveled her, knocking the breath out of her.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she said, keeping her voice even to match his. Dread and anticipation churned in her stomach, as Kara’s gaze lingered on the Lee in the mirror. His uniform was sharp with creases, every button and epaulet in its place. He looked like that perfect Colonial poster boy again, and she had a sudden urge to mess with him, to grab and tear and rip until she found a trace of the guy who’d tackled her into the grass on the way back to the barracks just a few nights ago.

But that was then. Things had gone completely FUBAR since. Now she studied his face, which was completely inscrutable. All the determination she’d felt yesterday after lunch to talk to him, to even entertain the possibility that they could actually have something here, had leeched away in the hours since. Kara had even gone and knocked on his door, but he hadn’t answered, and she’d even walked around campus, but he hadn’t been at the library or anywhere else she’d looked. She’d finally given up and gone back to her dorm and crawled into bed, feeling more foolish than before. Obviously, he’d had better things to do. And better people to do them with.

Kara rolled her eyes at herself and broke the stare, grabbing her clothes, as irritation and discomfort prickled through her. She shoved her locker shut, the bang of the door loud, and turned, dropping the clothes on the narrow bench that bisected the room. Lee cleared his throat and she tracked his gaze as it flicked down to the clothing and then climbed slowly up her body. She fisted her hands on her hips, refusing to fasten the towel more securely, even as she wished she’d gotten a chance to dress before they went for round two.

Frak, she was acting like an idiot. Not like he hadn’t already seen it all before. Her hands went to the knot at her chest and she tugged, dropping the towel to the floor. Lee’s eyes shot wide open and she could see a flush creep up his neck immediately. She bit back a smirk and grabbed her underwear. Kara 1, Lee 0.

“Uh, that was some nice flying you did.” She tugged the briefs on and lifted her head. He wasn’t looking at her, just studying a crease in the floor, hands in the pockets of his dress blues, shifting back and forth, his feet rocking to the sides of his spit-shined shoes. She bet his mother yelled at him for that when he was a kid.

“Thanks.” Davos had yelled himself hoarse, her docket was 30 demerits heavier, but Kara didn’t care. She hadn’t been able to resist throwing in the last dip and spin. She didn’t know when she’d get airborne again and all that blue had been too tempting. It was like that every time, she just… lost herself in it a little. Lee looked back at her suddenly, eyes wide, and Kara thought with grim irony that she had a penchant for making the same mistake again and again.

“You just in a complimentary mood today or did you want something?” Her voice came out harsher than she’d intended, but maybe that was good. She was tired and irritable, and if he was just here to fire a few more rounds into her, well, they might as well get it over with.

“Yeah, I want something.” Lee’s voice was just as harsh. She pulled her sports bra out from the pile of clothes and yanked it over her head and straightened, squaring her shoulders and arching her spine. If they were gonna battle, she was ready for it. Lee stepped around the end of the bench and walked closer, till he was face to face with her. His jaw tightened a little and then he frowned. Kara waited, sucking in a breath and holding it.

“You.” His voice was softer on the short syllable, and his face changed, taking on a pained, anxious look. Kara felt the breath hiss out of her. “I was a jerk and I’m sorry. I don’t care what happened at the party. I don’t care if you kissed Helo for some bet.” Lee leaned a little closer, his eyes fluttering shut for a minute before he re-opened them. She swallowed hard, determined not to get lost again. “I miss you, Kara.”

Too late. Kara’s heart immediately swelled with hope at the words, but that little voice in her head that sounded an awful lot like her mother’s sneered that it was a lie. Her response was chilled, wary. “Really? Aren’t you a little busy now that you’re back with the ex?”

“I’m not with Mandy,” he shook his head, raising his palms up. “Whatever you think you saw, that was goodbye.” Those blue eyes were focused intently on her, and Kara could feel her resolve weaken. “She knew about us.”

“She did?” Her brow crinkled in confusion. How could she know? It had only been a few days, and Helo wouldn’t have said anything, she was sure.

Lee nodded, looking slightly sheepish. “Said you were all I’d ever talked about anyway and she knew it would happen sooner or later.”

She stared in surprise, but couldn’t help the warm little rush that flooded her. “You were with her for nine months.”

“Yeah. I was stupid. But I know what I want now.” He leaned closer still, his face just inches away now, and she should be angry, she should. But he was close enough to kiss and she missed kissing him. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his lips as he talked. “I want  _you_ , Kara.” Her eyes widened, but Lee continued, words rushing out.

 “I want you back.” He stared back, intent and focused on her and it made her shiver. “I have 18 hours left before I get on that shuttle. And I want to spend them with you.” Her stomach flipped, but he rushed on, talking some more. “You’re still my best friend, you know. We can just talk or get something to eat or…you can teach me how to break and enter some other building on campus.” Lee grinned crookedly. “I don’t know. I don’t care. I just…” he stopped, hands stretched out like she was some kind of dangerous animal he was trying to trap but was afraid to touch, then they settled tentatively on her shoulders. “Gods, I  _miss_  you, Kara.”

She felt the knot she’d been carrying in her chest the past day and a half break free and an embarrassing little noise trickled out. “I miss you too. I’m sorry too.” The words spilled out effortlessly and suddenly she just needed to be touching him, so Kara reached up and slid her arms around his neck, leaning her body into his, letting herself melt into him.

Lee looked down at her, a funny expression of surprise and pleasure on his face, like he’d expected a different reaction, but then his arms circled her waist and he was crushing her tight, his palms warm on her back and his face buried in the crook of her neck. He lifted her right off the floor and Kara clutched his shoulders and laughed, feeling the exhilaration and relief bubbling through her. When he set her down, it was that giddiness that made her reach for him, hands on his jaw pulling him down to seal her mouth hard over his.

Arousal and satisfaction slammed through her at the familiar taste of his lips, at the soft slide of his tongue, until Lee suddenly broke away. “Wait, Kara, wait,” he said, panting a little as he struggled to catch his breath. “We don’t have to do this. We can talk. We _should_  talk. I’m leaving in—”

“Seventeen hours and fifty minutes,” she finished for him, eyes darting to the clock on the wall. “I know, Lee, I know. And we just wasted more than a day being stupid, when we could’ve been doing  _this_ ,” she fisted a hand in his jacket and tugged him back to her, lips ghosting along his jaw.

“But—,” the protest was weak, but Kara pulled back to meet his conflicted stare.

“ _Lee_ ,” her voice was strained and a little frustrated and hopefully not as pleading as it sounded. “At 0600 tomorrow morning, you’re gonna get on that shuttle, and you’ll be gone.” He stared back, brow furrowed, and she closed her eyes for a second before she continued. “I don’t want to spend the time we have left trying to figure out how to say goodbye to you.” Her voice cracked a little on the last words, and Kara sucked in a ragged breath. “I just… I can’t… I don’t know how to do that.” She stared at him, willing him to understand. “But I know how to do  _this_.” Kara arched up again, lips pressing firmly to his.  

Lee was stiff, unmoving for a moment, but then his arms came up, wrapping around her waist and pulling her flush against his chest. Relief shuddered through her, followed swiftly by desire, and she kissed him harder.  Her pulse raced, her body strumming with electricity. She was dizzy with want suddenly and Kara licked into his mouth, fists unclenching and sliding against his chest. Lee groaned and stumbled forward, pushing her up against the locker door, and Kara yelped as the latch gouged her hip.

 Lee pulled back, and Kara just reached for him, barely slowing down, but he ducked away, scooping up her clothes and pushing them into her arms. There was a hint of a smirk on his face and a definite promise in his voice, when he said low and sultry, “Let’s get out of here.”

Kara grinned and tugged her clothes on hastily, Lee’s hand hovering on her waist or over the small of her back the whole time, like he didn’t want to let go. She arched up for more kisses, his mouth hot and wet against hers, even as she tried to slam her feet into her boots without looking. The heel rolled under her foot and she nearly twisted an ankle, falling into Lee who caught her, then muttered something about her being too slow. He dropped down in front of her, grasping her foot and fitting it into the boot, his fingers flying over the laces. Then he grabbed her duffle with one hand and reached for her with the other, grinning, as he thread his fingers between her own. “C’mon, we’ve got some time to make up for.”

****

The trip back to her room was a blur of frantic kisses and roaming hands. They stumbled up the stairs to the dorm, Kara laughing loudly as he slid his mouth down her neck, simultaneously trying to fumble the key card into the reader. They nearly fell through the doorway, and Kara laughed louder when Lee swore as he jarred his elbow against the frame, a sharp pain shooting up from his funny bone. Didn’t slow him down though, and he grabbed Kara’s waist, walking her backwards down the hall, his mouth still fused to hers, even as he tried to keep an eye out for obstacles as they made their way to her door. His hands crept under her tanks as she stopped, unlocking the door and he bumped it open with his hip and pushed her in ahead of him, his hands already pulling off the clothes she’d just put on.

Two pairs of boots soon laid jumbled inside the door. Their pants landed in opposite corners of the room, his jacket hanging haphazardly from her desk chair, and a trail of socks led to the bed. They were down to just tanks and underwear by the time they collapsed together, limbs tangling. Kara let out a grunt when he dropped down heavily over her, but then she was laughing again, as she wrapped her arms around his back, hands pressing between his shoulder blades and pulling him down tighter, knees digging into his hips.   

Lee’s mind was racing, body flushing with heat and lust. All he could think was how he needed this, needed  _her_ , how he couldn’t imagine tomorrow, or next week, or next month without Kara. He lifted his head and looked at her, her face so alive and he remembered the first time he’d seen her climbing out of that sim, dazzling as any real star in the sky. He felt such a sharp rush of affection suddenly his eyes stung. And Lee knew that this may have started as sex, but it was everything else surrounding it that had made him fall in love with her: her laughter, when his fingers would brush a certain ticklish spot over her left hip; her private smile, right after she came down, all sated and sweet; her voice, breathing his name, like she was the only one who knew how to say it; her eyes, burning bright every time he slid home. It suddenly seemed vitally important that she know that, that this was so much more than just a physical thing for him. “Kara.”

“What?” her eyes fluttered open, her breath heavy, pupils dilated. “What is it?” Kara asked, brow crinkling.

“I can’t do this.” The words spilled out abruptly, and Kara’s face paled, her lips tightening in a thin line. Immediately her arms slid away, almost shrinking away from him, and he grabbed her arms. “No! No, I mean I…” he struggled, fumbling with the words. “I lied, Kara.”

She opened her mouth, then shut it soundlessly, a look of confusion creeping over her face. “What are you talking about?”

“That first night in the restaurant.” His eyes scanned hers intently. “I was afraid to tell you how much I wanted…” he paused, flushing a little, as Kara’s eyes widened in surprise, “how much I…” Lee stopped again, taking in a heavy breath, his courage falling just a bit short as he continued on, choosing his words slowly, deliberately, “cared about you.”

She was watching him carefully, and then her lips curved just the slightest bit. It was enough to ignite a spark of hope and he rushed on, emboldened. “It was never about the sex. Not really. But… I couldn’t tell you how I really felt because I thought that was the only way you’d accept it. That just sex was all  _you_  wanted.”

She was watching him with wary eyes, and her voice was low and hesitant when she spoke. “And what do you want now, Lee?”

He took a deep breath then laid it all on the line. “Everything.” Lee said and felt her chest heave under his. His eyes locked on hers. “And I need to know you want more too. That it’s not ‘just sex’ for you either.” He swallowed hard, his throat going dry. “Kara, what do  _you_  want?”

She stared back at him, eyes wide, exhaling a shaky breath. “You” she said, nodding slowly at first, then faster. “This. More.” A smile slowly formed on her lips and she took a deep breath. “ _Everything_.”

He stopped, stopped moving, stopped thinking, stopped breathing for a minute, afraid to believe it was real. Then joy and relief rushed through him and he swooped down and kissed her again. They were hungry kisses, hard and intense, lips melding together, tongues sliding, stealing each other’s breath until they had to break for air. Lee brushed her hair back from her face, staring at Kara, and all he could think was  _mine_. She smiled at him again and the slow, almost shy curving of her lips broke some final barrier, erasing some last shred of fear, deep inside him.

 “I love you.” The words tumbled out suddenly, urgent and impasssioned. Kara froze, her smile falling away as her eyes went wide. She stared at him, mouth slightly agape as if she was about to speak, and Lee wanted to kick himself. This wasn’t the way he’d wanted to say it. He’d wanted to ease into it, wait for the perfect moment, but he realized that even though he hadn’t planned to do it this way, he was determined to tell her this, finally. “I’m sorry,” he blurted. “I know it’s only been a few days, but I wanted this, wanted you, for so much longer. And I just, I don’t know, I guess I was in denial…”

Kara’s face closed up, mouth snapping shut, eyes closed, brow pinched, and he knew he should stop, because even though she’d said she wanted this, he couldn’t help feel like he was ruining it, ruining everything. But Lee couldn’t stop talking, convinced that if he could only find the words, the right ones that would make her…make her what? “I know this is too soon... And that I’m leaving… And this probably isn’t fair to do this, to tell you this now. But Kara, I—”

Her eyes were still closed and her teeth were clenched, and she gritted out, “Shut up.”

Lee stopped, the words like a kick to his chest, and considered it, but he couldn’t. He had to tell her. The clock was ticking. He’d stick to what was true. “I love you, Kara. I do, so godsdamn much. And I don’t know how I’m going to—”

Her eyes flew open then, panicked and shining. “ _Shut up!”_ It was sharper, but softer too, pleading almost. “Ok? Just, just shut up.” There was a tremor in her voice and her eyes squeezed shut again, as if just looking at him was painful, and Lee went cold all over and then hot again with embarrassment. He didn’t regret it exactly, but he felt like a fool, wondering how it had all gone wrong so quickly. He was just about to shift, roll off her and out of her bed and maybe out of this room and off this base, when he felt dampness against the thumb resting at her temple.

It took a few seconds longer than it should have to connect, but Lee could count on no fingers the number of times he’d seen her cry. Kara’s eyes were still shut, but when he leaned down and pressed his lips to the skin under his thumb, his mouth came away wet. He did it again and again, pressing kisses against her temples, her cheekbones, her eyelids, the bridge of her nose. He murmured her name in between, over and over, like a mantra. Lee felt something heavy unfurling in his chest and suddenly he wasn’t sure if the salt water on his lips was coming from her or from him, but he couldn’t stop kissing her. Kara’s breathing was ragged, her chest heaving under his, when she brought her hands up and trapped his face. She opened her eyes and stared at him, and Lee held his breath.

“You mean it,” she whispered, and it wasn’t a question, but a revelation. The wonder in it made his chest ache a little, because it meant she hadn’t heard those words enough before now. So he looked straight into her eyes and said it again for good measure, slowly and carefully. “I am hopelessly and completely in love with you, Kara Thrace.”

He didn’t expect her to say it back, but after a few seconds, her lips curved just the slightest bit, trembling a little, and her mouth opened. “Show me.” Her hands tightened on his face and she tugged him down till their foreheads brushed, her warm breath ghosting over his lips. “Make love to me.”

Her words were urgent but tender, reverent almost, and it was such an unexpected change from the laughing, teasing, frak-me-now Kara of the past four days that, for a second, Lee’s heart skipped. So slowly, he stroked her face again, thumbs sliding down the strong lines of her cheekbones and over softer skin to cup her jaw in his hands. He lowered his mouth to Kara’s, their breaths mingling, as he brushed his lips to hers. Over and over, Lee kissed her mouth, nose nuzzling her cheek. He was determined to take this slow, show her how much he cared with every kiss, every caress.

Kara’s hands were caressing his face, sliding down to cup his neck, her fingers rubbing soft circles against the skin at his nape and the motions fueled his desire. He deepened the kisses slightly, his tongue sliding through her parted lips, dipping into the warmth of her mouth until the sensations dizzied him, and Lee had to tear his mouth away, sliding his lips over her cheek to kiss the soft skin under her ear.

The ends of her short hair tickled his face and he reached up to brush it back, while he tilted her jaw to trail down the line of her neck. Kara turned her face, lips pressing his hand, the soft, wet glide of her tongue tracing the lines on his palm. He found the sensitive spot at the crook of her neck and pressed his mouth against it, sucking the soft skin and breathing in the scent of her. Lee felt the rush of her breath as she gasped against his palm, but he kept his mouth pressed to her, his teeth barely grazing her skin, a moment longer. Finally he pulled away, and the sight of the reddened mark pleased him because he knew that after he left, she’d see it and remember this night.

He lowered his mouth to her again, trailing down, down, following his hands, skimming over skin and clothes to finally stop at the hem of her tanks. Lee edged them up slowly, revealing the toned muscles of her torso and covering each newly exposed inch of skin with soft open-mouthed kisses. He hooked his thumbs under the bottom of her bra, lifting it up as his tongue danced over the swells of her chest. Kara raised her shoulders and Lee pushed the garments over her head and off her arms. He paused for a moment, drinking her in, thinking that for as long as he lived, he’d never see another sight as gorgeous as this. Then he slid his hands back down, brushing over the underside of her biceps and down over her breasts, thumbs flicking over her nipples. She murmured and shifted but Lee continued down her body, fingers dipping beneath the waistband of her briefs and slowly peeling them down, his mouth sliding over the taut skin under her naval.

Kara shifted her hips up and he tugged the underwear down, his lips sliding over the strong lines of her thighs and calves down to her ankles. Lee pushed the clothes aside and pressed his mouth to her skin, kissing his way up her leg to the tender skin at the crook of her knee, then higher, his lips dragging against the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh. He suckled the soft skin hard, wanting it to bruise, wanting suddenly to leave his mark all over her. Kara moaned, her voice low but sharp in the quiet, and her short fingernails sank into his shoulders, when he slid over, brushing his lips over the damp cleft between her legs. Lee was tempted to linger, to push his tongue inside the soft folds and taste her, but he resisted, impatient now to feel the length of their bodies fitting together.

He stripped off his own shorts with quick movements and stretched over her, aching and ready. Kara was watching him, her eyes roaming down his body, and he could see hunger and need and want reflected there when she met his gaze.  _“Lee.”_ She murmured his name, nothing else, just the short syllable, and though he’d never been a religious man, he thought it sounded like a prayer when she said it. She reached for him and he sank down, covering her body, his knees sliding her thighs apart as he settled into the cradle of her hips. Lee kissed her again, his mouth molding firmly to hers, urgency and desire flushing through him.

Unable to wait any longer, he lifted his mouth away and shifted, his sex nudging her entrance. Kara’s eyes fluttered shut and she made a soft noise at the contact, but Lee stilled. He reached for her hand and linked it with his own, needing to be connected to her in every way possible in this moment. “Kara,” he breathed her name and her eyes opened, focusing on him with an intensity that took his breath away.

They didn’t move for a minute, just staring, lost in each other’s eyes. Then Kara lifted their linked hands—her left and his right—pressing their mingled grip to her chest and twisting her palm so his hand lay flat over her heart, her fingers creeping up to cover his. Lee could feel it beating under his hand as he locked his gaze on Kara’s and slid into her. The connection of their bodies fitting together was familiar now, yet in some ways, it felt like their first time. He rocked into her slow and sure, their gazes never straying. The desire and emotion swirled, building and swelling, higher and higher with each shift of their tangled, clutching limbs, until they exploded, coming apart together in a burst of sharp pleasure and soft cries.

Lee sagged against her, his face buried in Kara’s hair, arms locked tight around her body, as he tried to catch his breath. Kara was shaking, her body trembling around him, as she squeezed him back. “My Gods,” she breathed into his ear, soft laughter skirting the words, and pressed a kiss to his head. “That was…”

“Incredible.” He finished, and the thoughts immediately began tumbling around in his brain. How in the hell was he going to get on that shuttle tomorrow? How could he leave her behind? War College would be at least two years spent three planets away, and after the Academy, Kara would get a good commission. The top pilots always did. God knows where he’d end up, probably back here at headquarters.

He turned his head to look at Kara. Her face was solemn, sorrow and trepidation in her eyes, and he knew she was thinking about it too. How they’d waited so long for this and wasted so much time. That they only had a few hours left.

“What are we going to do?” She was studying him, regret and misery written all over her face. Panic coursed through him. He couldn’t spend the rest of his life without her. A crazy idea shot through his brain and Lee latched onto it, feeling a glimmer of hope.

He arched up suddenly, levering onto his elbows, his hands cupping her face again, and Kara watched him with surprise.

This was it. This was the answer.

He looked directly into her eyes. Kara Thrace. The woman he loved. The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Lee opened his mouth and spoke the words.

“Marry me.” 


	10. Gravity Beckons

_ “Marry me.”  _

Kara’s eyes shot wide open as she studied Lee’s face, nervous laughter bubbling out of her mouth.  “Marry you?” she repeated. “Okay, I know I’m good, but even I didn’t think I was  _that_  good, Lee,” she smirked up at him. “Very funny.”

Lee frowned down at her. “It’s not a joke, Kara. I’m serious. We could do it!”  His thumbs stroked her cheeks, his eyes blazing above her. “We could go right now! Find a priestess… and we can get Helo, he can be our witness. Or maybe Zak…No, no, he’s too young—”

Her mouth dropped. He was serious; he wanted to marry her. Her heart swelled with a flood of emotion, even as her brain told her this was completely crazy. “Lee,” Kara started, but he barely heard her, just kept going on about licenses and rings. “LEE!” She reached up, closing her hands around his wrists until he finally refocused, excited eyes locking on hers again. “We can’t get  _married_.”

He paused finally, brow creasing. “Why not?”

“Why n—”  Kara tried to take a breath and her chest constricted, like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. She gasped, “Have you lost your frakking mind?”

“Maybe I have,” Lee grinned. “You do manage to drive me crazy.” He arched a brow and nipped her lips in a quick kiss. 

Dread coiled in Kara’s stomach. “Yeah, well, marrying me would mean a lifetime of crazy.”

“I think I could handle that.” He smiled and leaned in for another kiss but Kara turned away, her mind racing.

“But this is frakking insane. It’s  _beyond_  insane!”

She felt his lips rasping against her neck, nuzzling the sensitive spot under her earlobe. “Isn’t that just the way you like it?”

Her blood rushed at the sultry whisper. His mouth was hot on her skin and Kara felt dizzy suddenly. Everything was moving so fast. “Lee…” she pleaded weakly. 

His breath rushed out in a sigh against her neck. Then he raised his head, concern finally tampering the excitement on his face. “Look Kara, I know this is…sudden, but—”

She let out an incredulous laugh. “Uh, yeah,  _sudden_  is one way to put it considering you’re asking me to marry you when we haven’t even been on a date!”

He shot her a chagrinned look. “Well, we did kind of skip basic training and go right for the advanced maneuvers. Though I didn’t hear any complaints…”

“Lee!”

“Kara,” he mimicked her aggrieved tone. “Okay, yes, maybe it is a crazy idea, but this week has been amazing, and I—“ his face took on the same stubborn cast as when he was working on his advanced physics homework. “It’ll be tough, at first, yeah, but…  we could make this work. I know we could.”

“You know this?” she scoffed, shaking her head. “After what? A whole week? Three days?”

“How about three years?” His voice was soft, his eyes shining above her. “I’ve been halfway in love with you since the first day we met, Kara. Maybe it took me longer than it should have to realize it, but I know it now, and I know _you_.” 

She stared at him in shock, unable to speak.

“I know that you’ll only eat chocolate ice cream because you think all the other flavors are too boring. I know that you were milking it when you got that lung infection last year, because you didn’t want to do your poli-sci reading. I know that even though you told everyone you blew it off, you stayed up all night cramming for your Advanced Avionics exam because you were worried you’d flunk the class. I know that you took the blame for that prank Helo played on Colonel Masters last term, because his mom was sick and you didn’t want him to lose his off-campus privileges.”

She frowned and opened her mouth, but Lee barreled on. “And I know that you’re not half as tough as you pretend to be. That under that Starbuck swagger, you get hurt and scared, and that most of the time, you’re afraid to let anyone in, to let anyone see the real you.” He thumb traced the line of her cheek, his voice softening. “But you did let me in and I fell in love with you, Kara Thrace, and now I am asking you to be mine.”

Kara swallowed hard, the lump in her throat making it impossible to talk. Lee was so damn sure that they could do this. That he wanted  _her_. Gods! She was a screw-up— _no,_  a cancer.  She couldn’t be anyone’s wife. She definitely couldn’t be  _his_  wife. The idea was frakking ridiculous.

And she couldn’t understand why, even knowing all of this, a tiny part of her still wanted to say yes. A wave of dizziness rolled through her head and Kara had to close her eyes for a second.  _No_ , what was she thinking?! This was crazy! 

She swallowed hard. How could she get through to him? Lee was usually so logical, she had to be logical about this. “And if we did this, what would it change? I have another year at the Academy.  And you’re leaving tomorrow and you’ll be planets away for two years!” 

“But don’t you see?” he said. “This way, even if we were apart, we’d be together. We’d be bound to each other.”

She gritted her teeth. “Great, so I can be an obligation.”

“No, that’s not—” Lee paused suddenly, his frustrated tone changing abruptly to one of surprised wonder. “I could quit.”

“What?”

He was nodding slowly now, and she could practically see the wheels turning in his head. “War College. I could quit. Not even go. Do something else entirely.” His eyes were wide, a look of pleased amazement dawning on his face.  

“What are you talking about, Lee?! You’re gonna be a civvie? What about flying?” The panic was coursing through her now. How could he be serious? He was talking about changing his whole life for  _her_ , for this one crazy desperate notion.

“Kara, you said it yourself,” he stared at her, his eyes shining with excitement. “I don’t  _have_  to go to War College if I don’t want to. As for flying, well, I would miss it, yeah, but…I’d miss you more. I could stay here, get a job. We could build a life together.”

He  _was_ serious. Lee—steady, methodical, dutybound Lee—would change his entire future just to be with her. Throw away everything he’d worked for, all his plans, in a heartbeat. And it was all her fault. She’d planted the idea in the first place, with all her  _“Forget about your Dad, Lee.”_  and  _“Figure out what you really want, Lee.”_

 __She’d never imagined it’d be _this_. 

Gods, it was all too much. Her stomach flipped and she couldn’t breathe. Lee was hovering over her, pressing into her, trapping her, bright blue eyes waiting for an answer. Her breath hitched as she tried to get more air. “I can’t- I can’t do this.”

Gasping and frantic now, she shoved at his shoulder, pushing him off as she scrambled out of bed and grabbed for the nearest item of clothing. It was one of his tanks but she yanked it on anyway. 

Slowly, Lee sat up in the bed, staring at her, his brow creasing.  “Kara—” 

“I’m not getting married, Lee!” she blurted. “I mean, I never…my parents…” She clenched her fists in frustration. “I _never_   _wanted that_.” 

His brow creased. "We're not your parents. That’s not the point—"

“So what is the point? We can be your parents then? Married too young and spending all our time apart and resenting each other so much we need to be half in the bottle to spend an entire meal together?”

Her voice was almost shrill by the last words, and Lee’s face tightened. Kara felt awful, her gut churning sickly. This was frakked beyond belief and getting worse by the minute. 

“And what about kids?”

“What about them?” He frowned, confused.

“You’ll want them, someday. And I am  _never_  having kids.” She shook her head adamantly.

He paused, and she could see the surprise ripple over his face before determination reasserted itself. “Kara, that’s years away. I don’t even know if I want children.”

Gods, he was so frakking stubborn!  She took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Marriage is a sacrament, Lee.” She stared at him desperately, trying to make him understand. “It’s a promise before the gods. It’s… forever.”

His eyes flashed as he climbed out of the bed and walked towards her. "I know that, Kara. And I am standing here, telling you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Kara wanted to believe him, she really did. She wanted to believe that they could just run off and get hitched and everything would be frakking rainbows and daisies and happy ever afters. But she knew better. Getting married wasn’t some kind of magical solution. People still left. Or hurt you.

Or both. 

The expectation in his eyes was unmistakable and it settled on her shoulders like a fifty-kilo weight.  Frowning, she shook her head adamantly. She  folded her arms, hugging them close to her body. Didn’t he understand that there was no way this wouldn’t end badly? 

“Lee, can’t you see?  If we do this, you will regret it! Maybe not at first, but in a year or six months or hell, six weeks, you will,” she took a deep breath, shaking her head. “I will frak things up because that is what I  _always_  do and then you’ll—” Kara broke off with a choked noise, her breathing ragged and her voice shaky.

She stared at him, desperate. “I have never cared about anyone as much as I care about you, Lee Adama. “ Her face twisted, voice breaking. “And I can’t marry you because you’ll end up  _hating me_.”

Lee just stared at her, hurt and confusion all over his face. A sharp ache settled in her chest, a sob escaping, and Kara had to turn away. Her eyes were stinging and the walls felt like they were pressing in on her; she reached for more clothes. She had to get out. Her hands shook as she pulled on her briefs.

“What…what are you doing?” Lee’s words were slow, confused.

Kara grabbed her pants, trying frantically to get them up and buttoned, but her fingers wouldn’t cooperate. Strong hands closed around her own.

“STOP! Kara, stop! Just... just wait, okay? We  won't talk about it anymore. Just… stay.” He frowned, beseeching eyes locking on hers. “Please. We only have one more night, so let's just... let it go, alright?”

She stilled finally, and he moved closer and slid his hands up to her shoulders, pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her.  Kara tensed, unable to relax, but Lee just squeezed her tighter, one hand tangling in her hair, his mouth whispering warm breath against her temple.

“Forget it, okay? Maybe you’re right. Maybe it was a crazy idea, but I just…” he paused and pulled back, his hands sweeping her hair back off her face. His eyes shined as he looked at her, his voice low and heavy with emotion. “I don’t want to lose you.”

She felt the tension lessen slightly as relief washed over her finally. But Lee looked miserable. Gods, is that what he really thought? That if they didn’t run right off and get married today, that this would be it ? She stared at him in shock.  “You’re not going to,” Kara reached up, her hands cupping his face now too.  She may not want to get married, but she had no doubts about this.  “I meant what I said before, Lee. I want this. I want  _you_.”

She leaned in and kissed him softly, just pressing her lips to Lee’s for a long time. When she finally pulled back to look at him, his face was still rueful and she wondered if he believed her. Unsure of what else to do, Kara reached for his hand and tugged him back to the bed with her. Shedding her clothes, she climbed in and wrapped herself around him tightly, determined to spend the rest of the night showing him all the ways she wanted him and needed him. It felt like a half measure, but it was all she had.

Kara just wondered if it would be enough. 

***

The sky was still blue-gray when consciousness filtered slowly into Kara’s head the next morning. Lee was already gone, the bed empty beside her, but his pillow was still warm and she clutched it, burying her face in it. It smelled like him.

_ Lee was gone. _

The thought broke through the fog of her newly awakened brain. The weight of it crushed her chest and Kara felt numb suddenly. She reminded herself that this was the way she’d wanted it. Kara had insisted they not make a big deal of saying goodbye, knowing that she’d probably just make an ass of herself if she tried. She shifted restlessly, her aching limbs sinking into the mattress.  The half-empty mattress. He was really gone. 

Her mind cycled through everything that had happened the previous day and night and stuttered on the one point. Gods, he’d wanted to  _marry_  her. Now that she wasn’t panicking at the very idea of it,  Kara was left mostly with disbelief. He’d stood there and stared at her and said he wanted her—the girl whose own mother couldn’t stand the sight of her—for the rest of their lives.

Gods, he had seemed so damn sure. Lee Adama was willing to throw away everything he’d worked so hard for, just chuck his whole frakking future—for  _her_. It was crazy. It was amazing. To give up everything like that… 

And what had she given him in return? Nothing. Kara frowned. She didn’t regret saying no exactly, because if they’d done this now she knew it would have been a mistake. It would have been selfish of her to say yes—tempting as it had been at first. But she’d meant it when she’d told Lee he would regret it. She loved him too much to frak up his life like that.    

Her breath caught. She  _loved_  him… and she hadn’t even told him. Not once. Her head snapped up suddenly, her eyes fixing on the digital alarm clock on her nightstand and Kara shot out of bed. There was still time. Haphazardly she wriggled into the first clothing she could lay hands on, jammed on her boots and ran out the door, sprinting to Lee’s dorm across campus. 

He was closing the door, duffle bag in hand and turning to follow Zak towards the exit when Kara raced down the corridor to his room five minutes later. “Lee!”

Turning, his eyes widened as Kara barreled towards him and flung her arms around his neck. He rocked back with the force of the impact and the bag fell from his hands as he grasped her waist. “Hey! What are you doing here? I thought you said ‘No goodbyes.’” 

Kara ignored the questions and just arched up and kissed him hard, fusing her mouth to his, until a loud clearing of the throat interrupted them. Kara pulled back; she could see the kid wearing an incredibly smug grin over Lee’s shoulder.  

Irritation flickered on Lee’s face as he growled without turning. “Go tell Dad I’ll be out in a few minutes, Zak.”

“I don’t know. I was kinda enjoying the floor show.” Lee’s eyes narrowed and then he did turn. Zak just held up his hands and backed away, slipping out the exit doors.

When Lee turned back to Kara, his eyes softened and he pulled her closer, his head already tilting to kiss her, but she laid a hand on his chest, pushing back slightly. His brow wrinkled. “Kara?” 

Her gaze swept the planes of his face, memorizing the shape of his lips, the strong line of his jaw, the startling blue of his eyes. She didn’t hesitate and her voice came out strong and clear. “I love you, Lee.” Kara slid her hand up to cup his cheek. “So much.” 

The answering smile that spread on his face was dazzling. “Yeah?”

Kara nodded slowly, her thumb lightly tracing down the hollow of his cheek. “Yeah. I wanted you to know that…before you go.” She bit her lip, feeling her face crack a little and he reached up and caught her hand, twisting to press a kiss against her palm. A bubble of emotion welled in her throat and Kara pulled him closer, wrapping herself around him, her head tucking into the space under Lee’s chin.   

They clung together for a long time, before Lee spoke. “Gods, I’m going to miss you, Kara.” The words were muffled, his face buried in her hair, but it didn’t lessen the impact. She felt the tears starting already and blinked furiously. He turned slightly, his lips tickling the shell of her ear. “I already miss you and I haven’t even left yet.” 

As if on cue, a loud horn blasted from outside the building, noisy and obnoxious and shifting the mood slightly. Kara lifted her head, swiping at her eyes. Mentally she rolled them at herself. Damn, she was turning into a frakking faucet.  

It took some effort, but she pulled back and tapped Lee’s chest. “You better go. Shuttle leaves in twenty.” 

His face rippled with apprehension. “So… what happens now?” Lee frowned. “I won’t get leave for months. And you’ll be working, saving money for next term…” 

Kara cocked an eyebrow. “Well, they’ve got these new things now called telephones. Maybe you’ve heard of ‘em?”

“Oh.” He lowered his head, looking embarrassed, and Kara couldn’t help teasing him a bit.

“Yeah, they even have these handy little versions that you can keep in your pocket,” she nodded. “You know, just in case, you want to get in touch with someone.” 

“Hmm, interesting.” His tone was casual, but when he looked up, his gaze was measuring and uncertain. “Guess I didn’t think Starbuck was the kind of girl to wait by the phone.”

Kara looked at him in surprise, and his wary eyes made her realize suddenly that Lee was actually worried about this. As if he thought she would just move on, forget him the second he left. Gods, for someone so smart, he could be incredibly dumb sometimes. Kara smirked a little wider and shrugged at Lee, but her eyes were serious as they locked on his. “Guess she never had anyone worth waiting for till now.” 

He smiled at that, the slow grin that reached all the way up to crinkle the corners of his eyes, the one she’d come to think of as  _her_  grin, and Kara sighed as he pulled her close for one last hug. This love thing was turning her into an utter sap. So she lifted her lips to his ear and said in a low drawl, “Better brush up on your phone sex skills, Apollo.” 

He laughed then and squeezed her tighter and Kara melted into him a little, and thought maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay. She kissed him and when the horn blasted again, longer and louder and more obnoxious than the last time, they slowly untangled themselves. Lee picked up his bag and grabbed her hand, and she walked outside with him. The sun had come up and it looked like a perfect day. Lee squeezed her fingers once and leaned in to drop a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll call you. Tonight, okay?”

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and he let go, walked over to the truck and climbed in next to his Dad. Zak was in the backseat, his head hanging comically out the window. “See ya, bikini girl!” As the truck rolled away, she saw Lee twist in his seat and slug Zak in the arm and then he called out again “Sorry, Kara Thrace!” She laughed at that and sank down on the scrubby grass, just watching the road till the vehicle was out of sight. 

Kara closed her eyes then, laying back, propping herself up on her elbows under the bright sun. She wasn’t sure how long she laid there, just trying not to think, before a dark shadow fell over her.

“Want some company?”

She opened her eyes, squinting, and looked up at Helo, who was standing there holding out a styrofoam coffee cup. Her usual witty banter was failing her, so she just reached out for the drink. Karl dropped down next to her, his long legs sprawling on the grass and Kara sipped the coffee. It was French Vanilla, and her memory instantly skipped back to that first night in Lee’s room, the first aborted kiss that had started everything. Even thought it was only a week ago, it still felt like a lifetime.

“So he’s gone, huh?”

Kara just nodded, a knot in her throat suddenly. Karl must have seen something in her face, because he leaned closer, nudging his arm right up against hers. Kara let herself lean back for a minute, her head tilting to rest against his shoulder. 

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, until Helo spoke quietly, tentatively. “Kara?”

“Yeah.”

“Will it cheer you up if I let you  _paw my face_  again?”

Her eyes went wide and she elbowed a laughing Karl and he went down, clutching his side and groaning between chuckles. “Jackass,” Kara muttered, even though she couldn’t help smiling a little.

“Aw c’mon, I thought that was pretty big of me, offering to take one for the team that way!”

“What frakking team?”

“You know, the team! The brotherhood of men!” He eyed her suspiciously. “‘Cause the lords know you’re going to be a bitch for the next few months now that your boyfriend’s gone.” 

She rolled her eyes, even as a grin tugged at her lips.  _Boyfriend._  It was weird, but she liked the sound of it. “Good thing  _you_  only have to put up with me for a few more days.” She felt a sharp pang of glumness again at the thought. First Lee, now Helo. Soon she’d be all alone. “When you headed home?”

There was no answer and she twisted to look at him, but Helo was shaking his head now. “Change of plans. Gonna be sticking around this summer,” she raised her eyebrows. “Jake needed help at the bar.”

Kara stared at him in surprise. Helo had never stayed on Picon for the summer before. He was watching her and he held up his hands. “Hey, Diora’s here and I figured I could use the money.” Helo grinned wolfishly. “Getting to kick your ass at triad all summer’s just an added benefit, Starbuck.”

Her mouth dropped open at the slight. “Kick  _my_ ass? You’re dreaming, Raptor Boy.”

He winked and crowed something about teaching her everything she knew, so Kara started yanking clumps of grass out of the ground with both hands and pelting him with them. Helo dived for her, tackling her back onto the grass and tickling her mercilessly. As she tried to hold out from crying uncle, Kara thought maybe this summer wouldn’t be so bad after all.


	11. Crossing the Line

“You’re late.”

“I was _winning_.” Kara’s eyes flicked to the clock on the nightstand, which read  _22:02_. “And I’ll have you know I folded with four on a run for you.”

“Well, now I  _do_  feel special.” She could hear the amusement in Lee’s voice through the phone.

“You should; that puts Helo up by three games. I’m losing my rep.” But she grinned as she said it. Kara’d long grown used to getting flack from Jinx and Stormy about running home to call her boyfriend. “Besides, it was only two minutes.”

His sigh was soft in her ear. “You do realize that’s an eternity when I’m waiting for the best part of my day to start?”

The grin shifted into a softer smile as Kara rolled her head on the pillow. “I miss you too.” 

This was definitely the best part of her day as well. Her life had fallen into a routine. Days were spent working full-time at the body shop. Jimmy’s son Mike needed the extra help since he’d been getting a lot of the military vehicles to service. It was hard work, physical and gritty, but Kara liked it.  

Nights, she snuck into the sims and went flying, or she took up a stool at Jake’s, sneaking drinks and teasing Helo about the pretty red-haired waitress who kept flirting with him. Diora had dumped him for a marine sergeant a month or so after Lee left—Kara tended to measure most of her time that way nowadays—and Karl had taken it hard. She usually dragged him out to card games on his free nights. Moping headcases or not, their triad skills were sharp as ever and their wins were pretty much equal, which only increased their friendly rivalry about who was kicking whose ass. 

But no matter how the cards fell, at 2130 sharp Kara would always fold and beat a hasty retreat to the apartment she and Karl had rented. She had a ritual. She’d get undressed and turn off the lights and crawl into bed, cell phone in hand. In the dark with her eyes closed and his voice in her ear, she could almost imagine Lee was there with her, instead of half a solar system away.

“Hey, guess who came into the garage today?”

“Uh, someone who needed their car fixed?”

 “Your genius astounds me, Lee.”

“Oh, it was my  _genius_ , was it?”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll give you a hint. Think superior asshole.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really help, considering you’ve referred to just about every instructor at the Academy that way at least once,” he pointed out. “Narrow it down. Is it one who threw you in the brig?”

“Yes.”

There was a long pause. “You know what? That doesn’t help either. There’s still at least—”

“Ok, fine, ya killjoy. So Deakins brought his sports car in for work.” She smirked, drawling out the next bit. “His  _brand-new_ sportscar.” Major Deakins was the motherfrakker who’d implied she could salvage her shitty Avionics grades by sleeping with him. He’d gotten a right hook to the jaw and she’d been lucky not to get expelled. She did get three weeks in the brig for that stunt, though, and she’d been itching for payback ever since.

“Oh Gods,” Lee groaned. “What’d you do to it?”

“Nothing too crazy. Cup of sugar down the gas tank and I rewired his horn to beep every time he turns on his windshield wipers.”

A deep chuckle rumbled in her ear. “Well, the horn’s funny, but doesn’t sugar mess with the fuel lines? You could get in trouble, Kara.”

“Oh, relax,” she said. “Mike handled the intake and pickup. Dickhead doesn’t even know I worked on it.”

“Yeah, well, just remember, when your ass lands in hack again, I’m not gonna be around to bail you out this time.”

Suddenly it was hard to swallow. “I know that.” An awkward silence stretched out for a long minute. “Your turn,” she said, quickly shifting the conversation before things got too maudlin. “Tell me about your day.”

They talked about everything now—more than they ever had at the Academy when there was always a bar fight or a pyramid game or countless other things to do together. Lee knew all about the latest saga in Helo’s love life and all the gossip she’d heard about professors and classmates and other base action. They’d talk about the new models of vipers being designed or argue about colonial politics (it was probably the one area where Lee was the more liberal one).  

Sometimes they’d talk about more serious things too: the way he’d taken care of Zak his whole life because his mom was half in the bottle most nights, the night Kara had watched her dad’s car pull away never to return, the summer Lee’d spent—best of his life so far—with his Grandpa Joe on Tauron helping in his law office, the sound of 20,000 people screaming their heads off at the championship pyramid game after she’d hit that winning three-pointer.

There was no topic off-limits—except one: War College. Lee hated to talk about it. At first she’d asked a ton of questions about classes and instructors and the other students, but his answers had been brief and strained and he’d always turn the conversation to other topics. She’d thought maybe it was just homesickness—he just needed to adjust to his new surroundings. Lee had never been good with change. But it’d been nearly three months now and still he avoided her questions.

Sure enough, she mouthed along with his response as it came through the phone line. “There’s nothing to tell. Nothing interesting ever happens here.”

“So tell me something dull then, I don’t care! I just want to know what you do all day,” she barked, frustrated. “Tell me about the hot brunette teaching your Strategy & Policies class.”

“Well, I’m sure Colonel Telios would be thrilled to hear your assessment of him,” Lee said dryly, “but I think he went grey about a decade ago, so—”

“Just tell me _something_!” she cut him off. “You never talk about it!”

“What do you want me to say, Kara?!” he blurted the words, loudly and sudden. “It’s just like my Dad all over again, except it’s everyone, all the professors …. It’s their way or the highway.” His voice was shaking with anger.

“Lee…” she said, surprised, but he was already barreling on.

“The Colonial Fleet is always right, no matter what, and gods forbid you should question anything.” She heard him take a ragged breath. “I just… I hate it and these phone calls are the only time I can actually frakking forget about it for a while!”

Kara sat for a moment in stunned silence. She bit her lip hard, almost to bleeding to stop herself from saying the only words ricocheting around her brain— _Come home_. It drove her crazy to know he was hurting and unable to do anything about it. If he’d been there, she at least could have done  _something_ — distracted him with a private game of strip triad or snuck him into the sims and made him fly with her. The ironic thing is that she wouldn’t have hesitated to say it before when they were just friends. But now, it felt too close to his offer to chuck it all and play house with her. And she couldn’t—she wouldn’t—be responsible for spurring him to that kind of decision. As it was, the only thing she could do was stay on the line.

“Hey,” she said, voice softer now. “Hey, Lee, c’mon, maybe you just… need a break?” Silence. She took a deep breath. “It’s only another week till you get leave.” Nothing. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

Finally that got a small, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Time for a distraction. “And you better rest up  _now_ , flyboy. ‘Cause I have big plans.”

“Oh, you do, huh?” She could hear a smile lurking behind the words, Kara noted with relief. “Mmm-hmm.”

“Should I be afraid?” His tone dropped low, silky in her ear, and a little spiral of heat shot through her. 

“Very.” She grinned. This was much better. “I’ve still got those handcuffs, you know.”

Kara launched into a detailed description of all the very creative ways she planned to use them. She shifted on the bed, her eyes closing, hands sliding over her own skin as she talked. It’d been awkward the first few times, but she figured phone sex was better than nothing, especially on the nights when her body ached from missing him so much. She was just getting to the good part, when Lee interjected.

“Kara, I should go.” He paused, his voice sounding strange.

“Oh… uh, ok,” Kara’s gaze skipped to the clock and she frowned. It was barely midnight; usually they would talk for hours. More than a few times they’d even stayed up long enough to see the sky lighten, neither one willing to break the connection. “So,” she said reaching for humor to diffuse the situation, “did I just get a ‘Not tonight honey, I have a headache?’”

She heard an awkward chuckle. “I just… tempting as all that sounded, I, uh, have an early seminar tomorrow.”

“Right.” She’d never heard him mention that seminar before. Kara cleared her throat, feeling awkward. “Lee, are you sure you don’t want to—”

“I love you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” The line clicked off before Kara even finished saying, “Love you, too.”

She dropped the phone on her nightstand and rolled over, closing her eyes and waiting for sleep to come. Instead, her mind kept replaying Lee’s angry outburst, the frustration and defeat in his voice. Kara sighed.

She was still waiting for fatigue to set in when the sun came up.

****

It had been raining for the better part of two weeks. Lee liked the storms because they matched his mood, but even he was a little sick of it 10 straight days of downpours. So when the clouds parted and the sun actually peeked out the next day around lunchtime, he felt the intense need to partake of this possibly fleeting reprieve and found himself heading for the quad, stretching out in the still damp grass and basking in the rays of sunlight.

Naturally, his thoughts turned to Kara. Gods, he missed her. Right now, their nightly phone calls were the only things keeping him sane, but even so they were no comparison to being with her in person. Lee missed seeing her eyes light up when she smiled, missed the smell of her skin and the way she felt in his arms. One more week and he’d actually see her in person. He didn’t know how he was going to be able to leave her, again, and come back to this place.

He  _had_  been a little dramatic last night. War College wasn’t all bad. The classes were okay. Lee enjoyed strategy and theory. It was ironic really, because the longer he was here, the more he thought Kara would excel here. She’d probably hate all the papers and exams, but she was a good strategist, she’d love shooting holes in all their plans.

If she managed to stay out of the brig, that is. Kara chafed at any kind of restriction. No doubt if he was having trouble with the professors’ supercilious attitudes, she’d be tempted to take them down a peg or twelve.  He sighed and shifted, pulling a small handbound book from his bag.

Now this guy, Tom Zarek, was someone who could see beyond the black-and-white—probably why the volume topped the list of banned books. He was a radical thinker, a human rights activist from Sagitarron—years of exploitation had made it the poorest of the Twelve Colonies, so it was no surprise he wouldn’t exactly truck with the Colonial government. His methods were extreme and aggressive, but the theory behind them was interesting and smart, his arguments not entirely without merit. It made him think about a lot of his assumptions and privileges in a new light.

Lee lost himself in the text before long and only looked up when a dark shadow fell overhead. He figured it was the rainclouds finally returning, but when he looked up the Dean of Academics was glaring down at him and he reached out and plucked the manifesto out of Lee’s hands.

“Ensign Adama, indulging in some light reading, are we?”

“Yes, Sir.” Lee stood quickly, coming to attention, but his lips tightened in a grim line. He didn’t like a lot of the professors, but Stavros was quite possibly the worst. Small-minded and petty to boot, and Lee was sure he was going to catch hell for this.

“You do realize Adama that this… _book_ ,” he sniffed the word as if it wasn’t even worthy of being called one, “iscontraband.”

“Yes, Sir, but,” he swallowed hard, “I don’t believe in censorship of free speech, Sir.”

“Oh really? Well isn’t that just nice. Let’s see if you’re still such a fan of freedom of speech, when this scumsucker and his terrorist friends blow up another building and good men, law-abiding men, get hurt.”

Lee’s jaw clenched. “I don’t condone his tactics, Sir. But perhaps if those good men weren’t trying to suppress human rights, Zarek wouldn’t have anything to say.”

The Colonel’s nostrils flared with anger. “Are you telling me, Ensign Adama, that you side with a  _gangster_ over the Colonial government?”

“No, Sir, I’m merely suggesting that other points of view can be useful, that knowing your enemies is far more useful than condemning them as small-minded simpletons.”

He held his breath. Surely he’d be kicked out for this, talking back so sarcastically to the head of the college. The Colonel sneered at him. “You know, when I first saw you Adama, I thought to myself ‘Huh, he doesn’t look like Husker’s son.’ And now I guess you have even less in common with your Old Man than I thought. Out of respect for him, all I’m going to do is confiscate this, but if I catch you again with banned radical manifestos, I won’t be so kind.” He turned away.

Lee’s anger boiled over and he charged forward, grabbing the dean’s arm and spinning him around. “You’re right, I’m nothing like my Old Man. I grew up with a narrow-minded blowhard, I don’t need to spend the next two years surrounded by them here. I’m done.”

He stormed past, heading to his dorm, ignoring the man’s shouted commands for him to about-face and come to attention. With every step, his heart felt lighter.

Twenty minutes later, his phone rang with a shipside call from Galactica. Lee’s heart sunk a little but his spine stiffened. He pressed a button and his father’s voice barked over the line.

“Explain yourself.”

“Hello to you too, Dad. Why yes, I’m fine, thank you so much for asking.”

”Is that so?” his father’s tone was foreboding, and Lee felt a pang of guilt immediately, like he was a child being taken to task for getting in trouble at recess. “Then why did I just get a call from Emil Stavros about you reading contraband terrorist materials? And calling the dean of the college—  _your superior officer, may I remind you_ — a blowhard?”

“Okay, wait a second, first of all, Zarek’s manifesto isn’t about terrorism. It’s a purely theoretical treatise on civil rights.”

“Maybe this time! But just look at what this man is capable of, Lee. My gods, son he’s been imprisoned for twenty years. I’ve seen where this kind of thinking leads, Lee. Senseless violence! Innocents dying for some madman’s cause! My mother and sister died because some zealot decided he didn’t have to operate by the same rules as everyone else!”

“Look Dad, Zarek… Zarek isn’t even the point really. Stavros saw me reading something he didn’t like and he took the damn thing right out of my hands, like I’m a godsdamned child who can’t be trusted enough to make my own conclusions.” He was seething now.

“Because Tom Zarek is a dangerous—”

“Tom Zarek is not the frakking point!” Lee burst out. “His actions might be extreme and wrong, but that doesn’t mean his cause—the right to basic civil liberties—isn’t worth fighting for! Gods, Grandpa Joe was a civil rights lawyer! Just because someone doesn’t think the way you do, the way the Fleet does, that doesn’t necessarily make him foolish or dangerous. It just makes him his own man!”

Silence on the line, then the commander’s voice, weary and low, rumbled out. “And that’s what you want, isn’t it son? To be your own man?”

He sighed, dropped down on the bed, and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, that’s what I want.” He paused, then figured he might as well go for broke. “I’m… I’m dropping out.”

“You’re doing what?!” his outraged voice boomed in Lee’s ear. “This is unacceptable, Lee. You have leave in a week. I’m booking you a shuttle to Galactica. You will come here, and we will talk about this, calmly and rationally, before you make a frakking foolish decision that you will regret!”

“NO. Dad, no! There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve made up my mind. And I’m going to Picon to see Kara.”

“Is that what this is about? This girl? Is this her idea?”

“No! This is my decision, my life!” He took a breath, trying to calm down. “I wouldn’t have gone at all if it wasn’t for Kara.”

“What are you talking about?” his father growled. “Of course, you would have gone!”

“I asked her to marry me,” Lee shouted. “I’m in love with her and I was going to quit the fleet, stay on Picon with Kara, Dad. But she said no, said she wouldn’t let me throw my future away for her.”

“Well, thank the Gods one of you has some frakking sense.” 

“You’re not listening to me! You never listen!” Frustration washed over him as Lee struggled to find the right words to make his father understand. “This life, it isn’t what I want. I don’t know if I ever really wanted it, or if I was just doing this because  _you_  wanted it. And because I wanted you to…I don’t know, be proud of me, I guess. For once.”

His father’s voice was harsh and wounded. “I  _am_  proud of you, son.”

His heart swelled at the words he’d waited so long to hear, but Lee couldn’t extinguish the feeling of disbelief. “But what? There  _is_  a ‘but’, isn’t there? Because if you said it once, you said it a million times: ‘You’re not a man unless you wear the wings,’ right Dad?”

There was silence again. “Maybe I am guilty of pushing too hard, but I just want you boys to have what I had. The military gave me a sense of purpose, a sense of honor, a sense of pride in serving the Colonies. I just thought it could give you that too.” He cleared his throat, his voice quieter as he continued. “Maybe I was wrong.”

Lee sighed. “You’re not, not entirely anyway. It did give me those things, Dad, but it also made me realize that this isn’t the way I want to serve.” He took a deep breath. “In fact, I… I’m thinking of applying to law school.”

“A lawyer?” Bill asked, surprised. “I remember how you used to sneak into your grandfather’s office. You were always fascinated by his books and papers. That summer you spent on Tauron with him, you came back, and he was all you could talk about.”

Lee frowned, wondering at the wistful tone of his father’s words. “I know you didn’t see eye-to-eye with him.”

To his surprise, the Old Man chuckled. “Like father, like son, eh?” He paused. “You were always your mother’s son. I guess I just wanted to see that there was a part of me in you too.”

 “Dad…” Lee trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“So, a lawyer, huh? It suits you. You always were so concerned—even as a child, playing with your brother—you always were so insistent that things be fair.”

He flushed, feeling unexpectedly pleased that his father had noticed. “I don’t even know if I’d be any good at it, but…it interests me. I’d like to give it a try.”

“Of course, you’ll be good at it.” Lee actually thought he heard a smile behind the gruff words. “You’re smart and you work hard.”

Lee smiled and felt his heart grow lighter. He voiced the unspoken rest of his father’s sentence, saying the words without bitterness for maybe the first time in his life. “And I’m your son.”

This time, he knew without a doubt the commander was smiling. “And you’re my son.”    

****  
Kara twisted the wrench savagely, imagining it was Lee’s face. The frakker had not only hung up on her three nights ago, but she hadn’t heard from him since. When she called, it went straight to voice mail. No texts, no emails. She reached up and gave the stubborn bolt a last savage wrench but the thing still wouldn’t budge. 

She sighed, savoring the anger. Frak, it was better than crying about it. Kara just didn’t understand what had happened. Things had been going really well…or so she thought. Sure the long-distance thing sucked but, they’d been making it work. Maybe she shouldn’t have pushed so much on the frakking talking thing. Gods, she should have known better. It’s not like talking ever did her much good before.

Damn it, she missed him though. She’d even seen a guy coming out of Jake’s the other day that she thought was him. Kara had almost shouted his name and run after him, before she came to her senses and realized Lee was still on Libran and it was clearly just her pathetic mind playing tricks on her. Well frak him. Who needed Lee Adama? Love was overrated. She’d been just fine on her own and—

“Hey.”

Kara froze. Great. Now she was frakking hearing his voice too! Maybe she needed some air. She shifted on the concrete floor of the garage and suddenly her eyes fell on a pair of familiar running shoes. Her breath caught. It couldn’t be him, he didn’t get leave for four more days. But she was already lifting her eyes, up, up, and there he was—grinning down at her like he didn’t have a care in the world.

Kara’s heart flipped, her pulse already racing at just seeing him again, but she just held his eyes, sliding out on the creeper from under the chassis of the bulky sedan. Lee held out a hand and she grasped it with her own and let him pull her to her feet. His hand was warm around hers and he didn’t let go, even when she was standing on solid ground.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” she said, voice even, wearing her best triad face, so as not to give anything away. Kara raised an eyebrow. “You don’t write, you don’t call…”

He had the grace to look sheepish, even as his thumb stroked softly over her grease-smudged knuckles. “Would it help if I told you I thought about you every moment though?” Her resistance crumbled a bit at the obvious affection in his eyes. “And that I have a really good reason?”

“Yeah? Lay it on me,” Kara pulled her hand out of his grasp with a jerk and crossed her arms over her chest, glowering at him as her anger returned in a flash. “What was so all-fired important that you went radio silent for three frakking days, Lee?”

“I dropped out.”

She blinked. “You…you what?”

“I dropped out of War College, Kara.” 

“Are you frakking joking?” But her eyes were already raking down his body, taking in his civilian clothes. “You’re not joking,” she breathed. “Lee, what happened?”

He shifted a little closer, hands reaching out and grasping her hips. “I just realized that it wasn’t what I wanted. It wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t happy, Kara.”

Her brow creased as she studied his face, feeling guilt war with her excitement at having him back. “Is this because of me?” Gods help her, but she’d said no to him for a reason, she didn’t want him to throw his future away like this in some crazy sort of romantic gesture. “Did you come back because of me?”

“No. I mean, yes, in a way, but no. I came back for me.” He tilted his head. “But it was your words that started me thinking, you know? You were so sure about it, that I didn’t have to go, didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do. That I could just live my own life.” He shrugged. “I thought it was time I gave that a shot.”

Kara’s mouth gaped. “But…what are you going to do now? You dropped out of school and now what?”

“Well, that’s why you didn’t hear from me for the past couple days. I needed to sort this out for myself, get everything settled before I could come see you.”

“Get what settled?” She shook her head.

“A place to live for one thing, and a job. I’m renting a studio a few blocks from here and I’m gonna pick up some of Helo’s shifts at Jake’s.”

Her eyes widened. “That motherfrakker. He knew and didn’t tell me!”

“Hey,” Lee squeezed her hip. “I made him promise not to, okay? I just needed to do this on my own. Stand on my own two feet for once.”

She nodded, admiringly, then shook her head, smirking. “My gods, your dad must have shit a brick!”

“Surprisingly… he was pretty cool about it. I mean, after the initial brick shitting and all.” Lee grinned. “He even sent over some of my grandfather’s books.”

“His law books?” she queried, piecing two and two together immediately. “You’re going to go to law school?”

“I’m gonna try. I talked to admissions at Picon University and they think they might be able to squeeze me in for the fall semester.”

Kara swallowed hard, still feeling stunned and she shook her head. “You’re going to be a lawyer,” she said the words slowly, as if trying them on for size. “You know, I think it suits you.”

Lee chuckled. “Funny. That’s what my father said.”

She tried to process it all. Lee was really here and he was staying. She couldn’t contain the smile that erupted on her face, curving nearly from ear to ear. “So you’re a civvie now?”

“Not entirely,” he shrugged. “I joined the reserves. Figured I’d miss flying too much. And I don’t know… Maybe there’s a part of me that still wants those wings, wants my dad to be proud of me.”

Watching his eyes sparkle and his grin, wide and easy, Kara felt her heart swell. She leaned into him, sliding her arms up and around his neck and locked eyes with Lee. “Well,  _I_ am  _so_  proud of you.”

His grin stretched wider and he cocked an eyebrow. “Does that mean I get to kiss you now? Because I’ve been kinda dying to do that since I walked through the door.”

She answered by pressing her lips to his and her stomach flipped like it was their first time all over again. The kiss grew in intensity, lips and tongues melding together, until they were breathless and drew apart, foreheads brushing as they clung together still.

Finally Kara took a deep breath, and pulled back enough so that she could look Lee in the eye and smiled. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Lee Adama. What are you going to do?”

He grinned and pulled Kara closer, his arms wrapping around her in a tight hug, his lips at her ear. There was only one answer.

“Spend it with you."


	12. Epilogue

_Seven Years Later_

“Adama! You call that a landing?” Starbuck threw the hatch wide open and stalked into the bunkroom, crossing over to her locker. “You left more skidmarks on the deck than Flattop does in his frakking underwear!”

The object of her taunts just tightened the towel around his waist and grinned. “What can I say? I like to come in hot.”

She propped her hands on her hips and stepped closer to him. “Mouthing off to a senior officer could get you time in the brig.” Despite the stern tone, her eyes sparkled. “You should respect your superiors.”

“Hmm,” he said, his brow arching. “Even the ones I’ve seen in their underwear?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s a battlestar. You’ve seen everyone in their underwear.”

“Good point, Captain.” He nodded slowly, then a smirk spread on his face. “Okay then, even the ones I’ve seen  _out of_  their underwear?”

Kara’s eyes narrowed and she smacked his shoulder. “Pervert.”

He laughed. “Hey! Can I help it if you and my brother are all about the PDAs? All these years and you’re worse than horny teenagers when you get in the same orbit.” 

Kara made a face at Zak and threw in a rude gesture for good measure before she ducked behind the open door of her locker to change. She snuck a look at her watch. Fifteen minutes till Lee would be arriving.

Seven years they’d been together and for the last three of those, she’d only seen him once a month at best, whenever they could steal a few days to take leave from work. She actually missed the rattrap apartment they’d shared those first few years, while she’d finished at the academy and then after her post on the Triton, when she’d come back to teach flight school.  They’d both been broke and their schedules had been crazy, Lee finishing school and studying for the bar, while she’d worked at the garage to supplement her instructor’s salary—but they’d been together whenever they weren’t working. She missed those days more and more lately.

Anticipation thrummed in her veins now even as she forced herself to sit down and pull on her socks and boots and turn her attention back to Zak.

“Yeah well,  _you’re_  worse than the frakking wireless, Mouth.” She smirked, shaking her head at him. “Gods know I picked the right callsign for you.“

“Well, everyone has a skill, right, Sir?” Zak wiggled his eyebrows in a leer. “My girl’s got no complaints. In fact, last night, she—”

“Whoa!“ She grimaced and stood, holding up a hand. “Spare me the details, alright? Or do I have to toss your ass in hack till you cool down?”

She grinned in spite of herself. Zak Adama still had more confidence than anyone she’d ever met. Even washing him out of vipers hadn’t dented his self-esteem. When it became clear a few weeks into her classes with him, that he lacked the natural talent his father or brother had for the stick, she and Lee had worried it would crush him. Zak had taken it hard, even disappeared on a little hiking trip for a week, but came back more determined than ever to get up in the air.

He grinned now as he pulled tanks over his head. “And just where would you be without your best raptor pilot then, huh?”

“Why? What happened to Racetrack?”

Zak’s mouth dropped in mock outrage and he clutched his chest dramatically. “Oof, way to wound a guy, Starbuck. First you insult my masculine appeal, and now my flying!”

She snorted. “Masculine appeal? Really?”

“C’mon, Kara,” he puffed out his admittedly well-defined chest, “all these years, I know you must’ve wondered what you’ve been missing.” He winked exaggeratedly and she started laughing so hard she hiccupped.

“You have got to be joking,” Kara croaked out.

“Not once?” His face was so offended she had to choke back another round of laugher. She somehow resisted the urge to point out that even if she hadn’t been completely gone on Lee already, Zak had been a cocky little teenaged brat when she met him. And although his ego had been battened down at least enough to fit through the hatch in the years since, Kara would still—probably always—see him as that overeager 16-year-old.

She shrugged, a sympathetic smile curving her lips. “Not once.”

Zak paused then shook his head, a grin—a real one—spreading on his face. “I hope my brother knows what a lucky bastard he is.” He nudged her shoulder. “Always wanted a sister anyway. Tried to get Lee to wear one of mom’s old dresses when I was a kid, but he just wouldn’t do it.”

She laughed and reached out to give his head a playful little shove. Zak’s constant stream of obnoxious bravado had become just another fact of her life, like bad food in the mess hall and the constant hum of the engines. Kara had been surprised at how glad she’d been to have him around these past few months. She still didn’t know how the Old Man had done it, but Husker was a name that still commanded a fair amount of respect in the fleet. She guessed more than a few eyes had been purposely averted when he’d pulled strings to get his youngest stationed on his ship for the last twelve months of his command. 

Zak grinned at her again. “You sure you don’t want to hear what I can do with my—“

“Hey! “ Kara cringed even as she chuckled. “Watch it or I’ll make you go back to calling me God again.”

“Look at all that D-CAG power going to your head already,” he whistled. “You don’t start that fancy new job for another month, you know. And then you’ll be wishing you had me around to keep things interesting.”

Kara felt a pang suddenly. She would miss him. She’d miss all of them. It was still hard to believe the Galactica was being decommissioned in just a few hours. She was glad to have some time with Lee before she’d have to report for her new posting, as the Columbia’s deputy CAG for the next twelve months, but it was still hard to imagine she’d soon be serving on someone else’s ship. The Old Man was retiring, Zak was shipping off to the Triton, Karl to the Pegasus, and Kara would be on her own again. It was gonna be strange not to hear Zak telling outlandish, half-true stories in the rec room, not to catch Helo’s eye across the triad table, or pop into the Commander’s office for a drink. She took a breath, and banged her locker shut. She could cry about it later, right now, Lee should be pulling in, and that’s all she cared about. Kara turned and whipped her wet towel at Zak’s backside.   
   
“Just get your ass in gear, Adama. We’ve got a viper to greet.”

*********

Gripping the throttle, Lee concentrated hard as he got the order to touch down from the LSO. His father’s insistence on eschewing modern technology meant a manual landing and Lee was out of practice. The Atlantia, where his most recent posting was, relied on state-of-the-art equipment. Hell, all the battlestars did. Except his father’s, of course.

Finally he touched down and when he popped the cockpit and climbed out to greet the Chief, two familiar faces were standing there waiting for him. Never shy, Zak bounded forward first, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a tight hug.

“Bro! Good to see you!”  

Lee squeezed him back, clapping a hand against his shoulder blades. It’d been nearly six months since he’d last seen his brother and a swell of emotion rose in his chest. Gods, it was great to see him.

But his eyes were already open over Zak’s shoulder, seeking out the face of his other visitor, unable to wait another second. Zak released him and stepped away, then flicked a grinning glance over his shoulder back to the object of Lee’s scrutiny.

Kara was smirking, arms folded across her gray hoodie, eyes raking up and down his body, then locking on his gaze. “Hands-on approach giving you some grief, lieutenant?”

Lee stepped forward, a grin already tugging at his lips, hand raising in a crisp salute. “Guess I was a little distracted, sir.”

“Oh really?” She raised a brow, stepping closer, her arms uncrossing, hands drifting down to perch on her hips. “And why is that, LT?”

“I’d heard,” he reached out slowly, one hand spreading on her ribs, “there’d be this gorgeous blonde,” the other hand followed suit and he pulled her forward, till they were nose to nose, “waiting for me on the deck.” Lee nodded solemnly. “Frakked with my concentration.”

Kara’s eyes were sparkling with amusement, and she lifted her arms, sliding them around his neck, as she pressed her body into his. She raised her lips to his ear and whispered, “That’s not all I plan to frak with.” And then she kissed him.

Whistles and catcalls sounded from the specialists and pilots gathered in the bay. His relationship with Kara was fairly common knowledge amongst the crew, but Lee imagined it was still a surprising sight to see Starbuck turn into a girl before their very eyes. He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer. Gods, he’d just seen her a month ago, but it felt like years. It was getting harder every time.

He slid his nose into the blonde strands at her temple, voice low as he murmured how much he’d missed her. Kara let out a sigh, relaxing into him, and pressed a kiss to his neck just above his flight suit collar. Suddenly an obnoxious braying interrupted them.

“Get a room for frak’s sake!” Zak was smirking at them, an arm slung around his own girlfriend’s shoulders.

The short brunette elbowed him and he groaned. “Don’t be such a jerk, Zak.” She flashed Kara and Lee an innocent smile. “They don’t need a room, just a tool shed. Hey Chief, which one are you and Boomer always inspecting those gymbals in?”

Kara snorted with laughter and Lee shook his head. “Cally, I think my brother’s a bad influence on you.”

She opened her mouth to respond but the Chief strode over just then, bellowing. “Alright, people, this isn’t a zoo! Stop feeding the animals and get back to frakking work!” He glared at the specialist. “Cally, I need you on that viper with the busted maintenance panel RFN.”

She rolled her eyes and shrugged out from under Zak’s arm. The Chief shot him a black look and he raised his hands. “Hey, I’m off duty.”

“Yeah, well not anymore. I’ve got a maintenance shift with your name on it.” He clapped a hand on Zak’s shoulder and steered him off towards a tool cart. “Let’s leave the lovebirds alone, eh?. And stop distracting my specialist, Ensign.” He cuffed Zak lightly on the back of the head and winked at Kara as they passed by, whispering, “Second tool shed on the left.”

Lee heard and started laughing, but his eyebrows raised as Kara curled a hand around his wrist and tugged him after her. She was leading him in the direction the Chief had nodded, an impish smile flickering back at him over her shoulder.

A minute later, they ducked through a hatch and Kara slammed it shut, and turned back to Lee, launching herself at him. Her lips were traveling up his neck as her fingers popped the latches and slid the zipper on his flight suit down. Between kisses, she murmured, “We’ve got about twenty minutes before your dad starts expecting you in his quarters to say hello. Let’s see if we can’t work some of those  _kinks_  out of your  _hands-on_  approach, LT.”

Lee grinned and said, “Good to see you too, Captain,” and when Kara’s hands slid inside his flight suit and closed around him, he saluted her enthusiastically.  In no time at all, they stripped each others’ clothes off and Kara hopped up on a nearby worktable, pulling him to her and wrapping her legs around his waist. Slick curves pressed against his groin, and Lee groaned, reaching down to slide his fingers into the wet heat of her. His thumb stroked over her clit in firm circles, just the way he knew she liked it, and Kara’s nails dug into his shoulders as she cried out, “ _Frak, now, now Lee!_ ” and he shifted, one hand sliding down to grip her ass as he drove into her. A soft grunt of satisfaction escaped his lips as her body welcomed him.  

Gods, he’d missed this. Not just the sex, but this feeling of total connection—of not knowing where she stopped and he started. Lee let out a shuddering breath as arousal spooled in his gut and he rocked into her, ducking his head and nipping at that spot at the base of her neck that drove her crazy. Another few minutes and Kara was clenching around him, hands scrabbling across his back, her sharp whimpers echoing in his ear as she came. He followed, knees buckling a little as he thrust deep, blissful release rushing through him as he climaxed, panting her name.

They stayed tangled in each other for a few minutes, his forehead resting on her shoulder, Kara’s head tilted against his as she stroked her hands gently down his back. Slowly he lifted his head, looking into Kara’s eyes. “I love you.”

She smiled. “I know.” Lee leaned in and pressed his lips to hers softly, and suddenly he realized they’d been so… _focused…_  that he hadn’t even kissed her properly. So he reached up and took her face in his hands, covering her lips with his own.  It was a deep, lingering kiss, not frantic this time, and he savored the familiar taste of her, sweet and spicy all at once—like cinnamon. Suddenly a wave of nostalgia swept over him, taking him back, and he broke the kiss, laughing softly.

Kara pulled back, eyes heavy-lidded and dark, looking suspiciously at him. “What?”  

Lee just shook his head, smiling at her, as he slid his hands up, smoothing her unruly hair back from her face. “I was just thinking about the first time we did this.”

“Had sex in a storage locker?” She smirked. “That’s funny, because we’ve frakked a lot of places, Lee, but I don’t recall—“

“Not that,” he flashed her  _the look_. “The first time we kissed. That night in my dorm room.”

“Oh, that,” Kara grinned. “You mean when you kissed me then called it the biggest mistake of your life?”

“I didn’t say that!”

She rolled her eyes. “Semantics. You backed off so fast you practically left scorch marks on the rug.”

He chuckled. “Okay, maybe. But that’s only because I was scared I’d frak it all up.” He leaned forward and kissed her nose. “Scared I’d lose you.”

“I was so pissed at you,” Kara said, shaking her head, as she remembered. “Gods, I didn’t sleep at all that night.”

“Neither did I! My pillow smelled like you.” She laughed at that. “Besides, it wasn’t all my fault. You blamed it on the coffee and then you ran out of there like you had cylons at your heels!”

She giggled and shrugged. “OK, so we were both young and stupid.” Kara slid her arms around Lee’s waist, squeezing him as she grinned into his face, her nose almost touching his. “Guess it worked out though, huh? Cause now you’re stuck with me, Lee Adama.”

“Hmm.” He tilted his head, brow furrowing as if he wasn’t sure, and Kara slugged his bicep.

“Hey!”

Lee just laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tighter to him, his lips hovering at her ear. “Best mistake I ever made.”

****

The lights were dim in the Commander’s quarters and Kara bit back a yawn. It had been a very long day. After the festivities following the decommissioning ceremony, the Commander had insisted they come back to his quarters to celebrate, breaking out the really good booze. Secretly, Kara thought the Old Man just hadn’t wanted to be alone. It had to be killing him to see his ship get retired.

She shifted on the leather couch, muscles twinging in protest from the day’s exertions, as she settled back into the curve of Lee’s arm, her head pillowed on his bicep. He and his father were talking, their serious tones punctuated by Zak’s more animated interjections, but all three Adama men were smiling.

It was a welcome sight. It had been a slow process, but years of resentment and resistance had slowly given way to an easier relationship between Lee and his dad. Tension still flared every so often, mainly because they were far too much alike with their stubborn pride and their vivid tempers (though neither would admit it). But if the Old Man held any grudges against his eldest son for not following in his footsteps, he hid them well enough. In fact, he seemed undeniably proud of Lee’s success in forging his own path.

Kara focused in on the conversation once more as Lee finished describing his recent victory. “…and the verdict means that ,” he smiled, the motion lighting up his serious face, “the effects of PTSD on veterans must be weighed and taken into account in the face of legal charges for any crimes. The Picon Supreme Court decision will be considered a landmark ruling.” 

She grinned. Lee probably wouldn’t appreciate it if she told him how adorable he looked when he got riled up about justice. Not that she wasn’t enormously proud of him, too. He loved his job and she loved seeing him so happy. Kara wondered suddenly what their lives would have been like if he’d stayed at War College. She didn’t have a crystal ball of course, but she wondered if they would have made it—if they’d still be together, here on the Old Man’s couch, if he hadn’t made that decision. Would Lee and his dad even still be talking? Would Zak be a viper pilot now—or worse, a casualty? Would she be alone on some unfamiliar battlestar? A lump rose in her throat suddenly, and Kara blinked furiously. It was just the decommissioning –or maybe the booze—that was making all these emotions run high, she insisted to herself.

It wasn’t just affecting her though. “Your grandfather would be so proud of you,” the Old Man’s voice trembled, heavy with emotion as he looked at Lee, and Kara’s eyes widened and she lifted her head, twisting towards him unconsciously. The commander was so stoic usually.

“Well,” Lee said, flushing a little and waving a hand, “I was only second chair. I really just wrote the brief for—” 

“You made a difference, Son. You’re making a difference.” Lee didn’t speak, but the smile on his lips was indication enough that he was pleased.

The commander slid an arm around Zak and reached down to clasp Lee’s shoulder, his face growing solemn. “I’ve spent a lot of time on this ship—too much time, maybe—and tomorrow,” he paused, reaching for the words, “It’s all over. That era of my life is done.” He sighed heavily. “I used to wonder what I would do when this day came, but now that it’s here, I look around and I can see that I’m a very lucky man.”

He looked to Zak. “I have two sons who have grown into fine men.” Then his eyes fell to Kara. “And now I have a daughter.” His calloused hand dropped from Zak’s shoulder and caressed her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. He smiled and Kara beamed back, her eyes growing damp again suddenly. Then the Commander’s smile turned sly and he cut his eyes toward Lee. “That is, if my son ever wises up and decides to make it official.”

“Hey!” Lee protested. “That’s not my fault.”

It was true. The topic had come up from time to time, but Kara had always shied away, evaded the issue until Lee let it drop. He was gazing at her now with apology in his eyes.  “Uh, what I meant to say is, we’ve had this discussion, Dad.” His brow furrowed and he aimed a wan smile at her. “Kara’s not ready to get married.”

All three Adama men were looking at her now and Kara gazed back at this semblance of a family she’d somehow been lucky enough to find. Her own family had turned their back on her, each parent in their own way, but these men loved her and she loved them. Her gaze narrowed and fixed on Lee, and she realized suddenly that he wanted this. Still. And like that, it suddenly seemed so silly, this resistance. Kara had been afraid, after a while, that getting married would ruin it. Things were fine between them, better than fine, and she didn’t need a piece of paper to tell her that. But Lee wanted this and she wanted him. And that would never change.

She lifted an eyebrow, a smile spreading on her face. “Why don’t we?”

Lee’s face went slack for a second, one eyebrow raising to mimic hers. “Why don’t we…what?”

Kara grinned. “Marry me, Lee."

His jaw dropped. “ _ What?” _

 “Let’s do it.” She laid a hand against his chest, tapping it for emphasis. “Let’s get married. Right now.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from the Old Man and Zak hooted, slapping him on the back, even as Lee stared at her in confusion, his mouth open, jaw working before he managed to grind out words. “Wait—wait a minute! Just—Kara—are you—” He broke off, muttering to the others, “Excuse us for a moment.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her a few steps away.

“What’s this about, Kara?”

“You. Me. Getting hitched.” She could feel the excitement pulsing through her now, every word making her more certain. “What part of it don’t you get?”

Lee frowned. “But every time I bring it up, you change the subject. Why now?” He was watching her intently. “Is it what my Dad said? Because I don’t want you to feel pressured. I love us the way we are, we don’t have to—”

“When do I ever do anything I don’t have to do, Lee?” She cut him off, shrugging cheerfully. He looked wary still, and she reached up to cup his cheek. “It’s time.”

He just stared at her, his brow furrowed, his words slow. “And you want to do this right here? Right now? Just get married out of the blue in the middle of the night on a battlestar?”

She nodded, laughing. “Kinda perfect, don’t you think?”

“But don’t you want a real ceremony? You know, food, flowers, guests—”

“I’m not exactly the white dress type, Apollo.” Kara rolled her eyes, but smirked at him affectionately, her voice softening.  “Besides, everyone I need is already here.”

He smiled a little at that, but then turned serious again, his eyes locked on her face, studying her. “You’re sure, Kara? This is what you want?”

“Yeah,” she nodded and leaned in close to him, sliding her hand behind his neck and letting her forehead lightly brush his. “ _You’re_ what I want.”

Lee’s face split into a huge grin at the words, and his arms locked around her waist as he swept her up into a massive hug. Laughter bubbled up in Kara’s throat and she let it roll out, long and loud, as Lee set her down again. He reached for her hand, linking it with his own, and she thought to herself  _forever_.

Kara liked the sound of it.

****

The ceremony was simple and surprisingly traditional. With Zak and a sleepy Helo standing by as witnesses, the Commander officiated at Kara’s request. She would ask the gods to bless this union later, but it just seemed fitting somehow. They looked into each others’ eyes and repeated the time-honored Caprican words about loving and supporting each other throughout all eternity, in both this cycle and all future ones. Kara was so transfixed by the way Lee was looking at her, that she didn’t even raise a mocking eyebrow over the “honor and serve you” part.

After they’d both repeated their vows, his father paused. “Normally, this would be the part where you would exchange rings.”

 Lee looked at Kara and shrugged apologetically. “Yours looks great in the box in my dresser drawer.”

 “You bought me a ring?”

He nodded, looking a little embarrassed. “Six years ago. Just in case.”

 She grinned, unable to help herself.

 “Oh, wait!” Zak said, and they looked at him. He was busy tugging a plain silver band over the knuckle of one finger. Finally he eased it off and handed it to Lee. “Here.”

“We can’t take this.”

“Just temporary. Till you can get the real thing.” He shrugged, “Seems like it’d be bad luck to mess with the ‘symbol of your unbroken and eternal love’ and all that, right? Think of it as my wedding gift.”

“Thanks, Zak. That’s really generous of you,” Lee said, at the same time that Helo nudged Zak with his elbow and grinningly called him a cheapskate. Kara just smiled, touched by the gesture.

Lee turned the band over in his hands, looking at it closely. “Huh. You know, I used to have a band just like this…”

His brother cleared his throat. “Uh, I might have swiped it from your room when you left for the Academy.”  

Lee just shook his head and slid the ring onto Kara’s hand. It was way too big, spinning loosely on her ring finger. He frowned as she quickly slid it off and onto her thumb. “There! Perfect.”

He grimaced, troubled. “But that’s not the right finger.”

“It’s okay, I like it here.” Lee looked like he wanted to protest, so she winked at him and said, “I promise I’ll put the real one on the right finger.” Kara turned to the Commander. “So…are we at the good part now?”

The Old Man smiled and looked to Lee. “You may kiss the bride.” But Kara didn’t wait for him, her hands flew to Lee’s face and she sealed her mouth to his hard. Behind them, she heard Zak and Helo hooting and hollering and the Commander’s heavy clapping, but Kara tuned it all out, oblivious to everything but this.  She was kissing  _her husband_. The whole idea of it was almost impossible.  Panic tightened her chest suddenly in a flash, and Kara turned her face, burying it in the crook of Lee’s neck. She  closed her eyes as the scents filled her nostrils of the citrus shampoo he liked and the hint of sandalwood in his cologne and, underneath all that, just _Lee_ , familiar and comforting, and she could breathe again.

Kara lifted her head and ran a thumb down his cheek. Lee’s eyes were locked on hers, his gaze filled with affection and pride. “I love you.” 

He just grinned. “I know.”  


***  


“So, Apollo,” Kara said, easing back down to the mattress next to him, her breath still coming heavy, “is married sex better?”

 

He smiled and rolled over, his body half blanketing her, as he nuzzled her neck with his nose. “Mmm, too soon to tell.” Lee lifted his head, nipping at her lips and grinning. “I think we need more evidence before we can draw any conclusions.”

She laughed and slipped her arms around his back, tilting her chin to meet his kiss. Their mouths met lazily, again and again—slow, soft presses against cheeks and eyelids and brows and temples. Kara sighed contentedly and pulled Lee closer, a hand sliding up to cradle the back of his head. “Promise me we’ll always do this,” she murmured against his skin. 

He pulled back a little and raised an eyebrow. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t exactly plan to take a vow of chastity anytime soon.”

She rolled her eyes and smacked a bicep. “Ha, ha. No, I mean…” she paused, feeling nervous suddenly, “Promise me that it’ll always feel like this.” Kara knew things would probably change now that they were married, even though she didn’t feel any different. At least not yet, anyway. She lifted her chin, looking at Lee challengingly. “Just because we made it official, we better not get all boring.”

Hesmirked. “When is anything ever boring with you around, Starbuck?”

She smiled back and shrugged, feeling silly suddenly. “Yeah, well, next thing you know, you’ll be wanting the whole 2.5 kids, picket fence, Caprican Dream.” 

Kara was watching his eyes, so she didn’t miss the small flicker as his face changed, his ears reddening slightly. 

“My gods, you are already planning where to hang the frakking porch swing, aren’t ya?”

Lee tilted his head a little, eyes fluttering closed for a second. “I refuse to answer on the grounds I might incriminate myself.”

She rolled her eyes, chuckling a little. “Such a lawyer.”

He brushed a thumb down her cheekbone. “Hey. I know, you’re not ready now, but maybe. Someday, right? That’s what we talked about?”

They had. Of course, it had all felt very hypothetical then, talking about their imaginary lives in their imaginary house…maybe even an imaginary family. Kara still had mixed emotions about the kids thing. She used to swear she’d never have children, but… well, she used to think she’d never have a family, either, and now she did. Thanks to Lee. Kara figured if there was anyone who might make it worth pushing out a stinky little rugrat, it just might be him. 

“Maybe,” she smiled, “but why don’t we try being married for more than an hour before we start making blueprints for that bright shiny future, huh?”

“We can do that,” he smiled back. “Besides,” Lee tapped the tip of her nose with a finger, “you’ll be reporting to the Columbia in a few weeks anyway. ” He dipped his head down, laying his cheek along hers, his lips brushing her earlobe. “Gods, another year without you. And somehow I don’t think the Columbia commander will be quite so understanding about letting me shuttle over so often.” He sighed, warm breath bathing her skin. 

She tightened her arms around Lee and stroked a hand up through his hair, fingers rubbing his scalp lightly. “You know I always come back to you.” 

“Yeah,” he said, but then Lee groaned, the sound muffled against her neck. “You’d think I’d be used to you leaving by now, but I swear it’s worse every time.” 

It’d been over a year now since Bill had recruited her to serve on Galactica. There was nothing like the thrill of launching a viper in deep space but water rations and bad food and the endless routines took their toll. Even flying had lost its luster a bit without even simulated cylons to fight. Her D-CAG post on Columbia was for a year, then Kara would have to decide if she wanted to extend. 

She licked her lips, feeling her gut flip as she suddenly felt the need to put the crazy thought she’d been considering the past few months into words. “I was thinking… maybe this will be the last time.” She sucked in a hard breath, as if just saying the words had been an exertion.

“The last time . " he repeated."You mean… ?” Lee’s head shot up, big blue eyes scanning her face in surprise.

Her teeth edged out, twisting her lower lip a bit. “After Columbia, I was thinking I might take a job at the base. Maybe teach again or fly cargo runs.” She’d even considered on a few occasions mustering out. Kara had never really been one to contemplate the future much, and it was hard to fathom one that didn’t include the military, but she’d joined as an escape. It’d been a way out—the only way out after she’d frakked up her knee.But things were different now.

His mouth hung open. “Are— Are you serious, Kara?”

She was. She’d loved serving on Galactica for the Old Man, but Columbia would just be a job. Kara felt ready for something new, and more than that, she wanted to actually see Lee on a daily basis. To go to bed with him each night and wake up with him each morning and not have to make do with all-too-short phone calls and weekend leaves.

“Everything’s changing, you know? And it just…” she broke off, nodding again. “It’s time.” 

Lee stared at her, his lips turning up slightly, even as he shook his head. “That seems to be the phrase of the day.” He grinned for a second, but then his brow creased again. “But Kara, you love flying vipers. This makes you happy. Won’t you miss it?”

Kara smiled at her husband and just shrugged a shoulder. “Not as much as you.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment and Lee smiled finally, a full one that made his eyes crinkle. She reached up, hands cupping his jaw and tugged his face closer. “Now, what do you say we collect a little more of that evidence?”

****

It was hours later when the call came. They were sleeping half on top of each other, despite the spaciousness of the bed in the married quarters his father had granted them use of, naked limbs twined together. Lee stirred, feeling boneless and content with Kara’s warm weight pressed to him. His wife. He grinned and didn’t open his eyes, just slipped an arm around her waist. He could get used to this. 

He was drifting again when suddenly a loud siren began bleating and his eyes shot open as a tense voice crackled to life over the intercom. __

 _ Action stations! Action stations!Set condition one throughout the ship. This is not a drill. _

Kara jolted next to him, rolling over, her eyes wide. “What the—?” she muttered, her voice still sounding sleepy.

The noise was loud as the message repeated twice, and he strained to be heard over the alarm. “You need to report?” 

She shook her head, and suddenly the cacophony stopped, blissful silence filling the room again. “Thank the gods,” she yawned wide, shifting. “Probably just a shipping accident or something.” Kara’s lids fluttered shut and she burrowed closer to him, face pressing against his chest. “ ‘sgo back to sleep.” He curled down to brush a kiss against the top of her head, and his own eyes drifted closed. 

But two minutes later, the loudspeaker crackled again, this time emitting his father’s booming voice.

 _ This is the Commander. Moments ago this ship received word that a Cylon attack against our homeworlds is underway.  _

He and Kara both opened their eyes at once, bolting upright. “What the frak—” she began, but the loudspeaker interrupted her.

 _ We do not know the size or the disposition or the strength of the enemy forces, but all indications point to a massive assault against Colonial defenses. Admiral Nagala has taken personal command of the fleet aboard the Battlestar Atlantia following the complete destruction of Picon Fleet Headquarters in the first wave of the attacks. _

Kara gasped and was already scrambling out of bed, yanking on tanks and underwear and her clothes from earlier. Lee was hot on her heels, pulling on his flightsuit. He realized suddenly that she didn’t have hers here; it was still in the senior officer’s quarters with the rest of her belongings.His brain reeled as he tried to process everything that was happening. Why now? And how could the Cylons have mounted such a large-scale offense with no one getting wind of it? As if on cue, his father’s voice filtered through.

 _ How, why, doesn't really matter now. What does matter is that as of this moment, we are at war. You’ve trained for this. You’re ready for this. Stand to your duties. Trust your fellow shipmates and we’ll all get through this. Further updates as we get them. Thank you. _

He had no sooner clicked off, than the phone rang and Kara grabbed the receiver. She listened for a moment then said, “Tell him we’ll be there in five, Dee.”They were running out the door before the connection even cut out.In the senior officers’ quarters, Kara hurriedly pulled on her flightsuit while the other pilots crowded around with questions. She made them all report to the ready room, promising she’d return with answers as soon as she could. Then they were off again, running to the CIC. 

As they entered the buzzing command center, he could hear the sounds of battle over the comm. Boomer was trying to hail the CAG but he wasn’t responding. Then suddenly Helo’s voice boomed out loud, yelling _NO!_ then the comms cut out. For a second everyone froze in their places. Then Boomer’s voice came back on, hailing Galactica and reporting that the entire red squadron led by the CAG had been destroyed. Silence reigned in the wake of her words. 

Lee swallowed hard and cut a glance to Kara, whose face was pale. These were her friends, her shipmates and they were all gone. He stepped closer to her and laid a hand on her lower back in silent support. Her face rippled but then she squared her shoulders, her spine stiffening, lips narrowing into a tight line, and she stepped forward to the main console. Lee followed and they both snapped off a quick salute, in unison.

“Ready for duty, Sir.”

His father nodded and Kara spoke, her words tight and sharp. “Where the hell did the Cylons come from?” Lee expected his father to bristle at her tone, but the Old Man didn’t blink an eye.

Instead he filled them in on the little he knew, noting that 30 battlestars had been taken in the opening attacks. Kara grimaced. “That’s nearly a quarter of the fleet,” Lee said, horrified.

His father’s countenance remained stoic. “I need pilots and I need fighters.”

“Pilots you got,” Kara piped up. “There’s at least twenty of ‘em climbing the walls in the ready room, but fighters…” 

His father didn’t miss a beat. “I seem to remember an entire squadron of fighters down on the starboard hangar deck yesterday.”

Kara’s eyes lit up and she shifted restlessly, as if she was ready to take off running that very second. “Yes, sir,” she said, anticipation in her voice as she snapped off a quick salute. She turned and Lee started to follow. This wasn’t his ship but he sure as hell couldn’t stay out of this fight. 

“Starbuck,” his father called, “One more thing.”

She twisted back, her face expectant, but her body rocking slightly like she was having trouble staying still.

“I’m going to need a new CAG.”

Lee was standing close enough that he could hear her sharply indrawn breath. Her mouth gaped for just a second, then she snapped it shut and lifted her chin. “Yes, sir.” Someone who didn’t know Kara as well as he did might have missed the slight tremor in the words. 

But, his father must have known her pretty well by now too, because his eyes were fixed on Kara, serious and scrutinizing. “I need someone who can lead my pilots. Someone they respect. Can I count on you, Starbuck?” 

“Yes, Sir.”

He nodded. “Get my birds in the air then, Captain.”

She saluted again, then pivoted and they ran to the ready room, collecting pilots and then the Chief and his deckhands before hitting the starboard hangar deck. As they worked to bring the planes over to the portside bay, the Commander came over the comms again reporting the nuclear strike against the twelve colonies. He mentioned Caprica last and Cally wondered aloud how many people lived in Caprica City.

Quietly, Kara said “Seven milllion,” but Lee could only think of one. Incongruously, he thought, she was supposed to be getting married in a week. He paused, thoughts of his mother rapidly filling his head, until he felt a tight squeeze on his hand. Kara was next to him with sympathy in her eyes and she squeezed his hand again quickly, whispering, “Stay with me, Apollo, alright? Just stay with me.”

She stepped away and cupped her hands around her mouth, calling loudly, “Pilots report, front and center.” The viper jocks assembled in a loose circle, looking expectantly at Kara. “Listen up! Here’s the sitrep: the Cylons have some kind of tech that fraks with comm and nav systems. They took down the Red Squadron.” She paused and took a breath. “Ripper too.” 

It was news to some of the pilots. Lee heard whispers, shocked inhalations all around him, but his eyes stayed locked on Kara. He watchedas she swallowed hard and lifted her chin, her shoulders squaring. “I’m the CAG now,” Kara paused, eyes darting around the circle. Lee thought it was as if she was waiting for some sort of blowback or challenge, but there was none, just a bunch of rattled pilots looking at her for guidance. 

“Right. These older jets don’t have the same electrical systems, so they should be immune. But if you run into trouble, you hightail it back here RFN. Don’t be a hero. Dead pilots are no use to this Fleet. Got it?” She eyed the group, until they all nodded or said “Yes, Sir.”

“Okay. Hyper, you take Two Times, Sniper, Bingo, and Frosty.Karma, you’ve got Thumper, Hotshot, Snitch, and Hex. Buster’s got Jolly, Duck, Gonzo and Feline. Joker, Greenback, Flattop, you’re with me. And Lee, you’re on my wing.”

A low murmur followed, and Lee could feel a lot of unfamiliar eyes staring at him. He knew some of the pilots, but others were unfamiliar, new to the Galactica since the last time he’d been aboard. He watched as one of them, a tall, lanky blond kid, the one Kara’d called Greenback, flicked a glance his way then muttered to a friend just loudly enough for him to hear, “Who’s this frakking rook all up Starbuck’s jock, anyway?” 

He gritted his teeth, but before he could answer, Kara swung around in front of the guy. She’d clearly heard the exchange, too.She spoke loud enough that her voice echoed, like a bullet ricocheting off the walls, though her eyes bore into Greenback’s and never left him. "For those of you who don't know, that is Lieutenant Lee Adama, Callsign Apollo." 

This Greenback must have been an idiot, or maybe he just had a death wish, Lee thought, because the kid actually smirked at Kara and said, "Adama, eh? That explains a lot." 

Lee bristled. He was well used to the insinuations of nepotism he encountered in the fleet, but he didn’t like what this guy was insinuating about Kara. He opened his mouth but Starbuck beat him to it. "That's right. _Adama._ He's the old man's son, Ensign Zak Adama's older brother,” she paused, narrowing her eyes and moving a step closer to the lieutenant, “and as of six hours ago, my husband." 

A collective gasp rose up from the group but Kara kept her focus on Greenback, who was finally starting to look a little ashamed. "He is also the best godsdamn pilot I've got on this ship and Galactica is lucky to have him.” She stepped back, her eyes sweeping to the other pilots now. “So if any of you have got a problem with him, you've got a problem with me. And I promise you, you do not want to get on my bad side right now. Understood?"

Again she waited until the group expressed assent. “Good, because we have work to do. Apollo, you're on my wing. The rest of you, get your heads in the game. We don’t know what we’re up against here, so be ready for anything.Shoot first, shoot fast.” She paused, fisted her hands on her hips and finally grinned at her fellow pilots “Now,” she said, a wicked glint in her eyes suddenly, “let's get out there and make these metal motherfrakkers sorry they ever messed with us.” Hollers of agreement and excitement rose from the crowd. “Good hunting,” Kara shouted over the din, as they dispersed.

She pivoted without another word and headed towards her viper and Lee followed, catching her arm. “Hey, Kara. Wait a second.” 

She whirled quickly, the adrenaline coming off her in waves, and Lee pulled her around the side of the plane, mostly out of sight of the bustling crowd. His heart was beating rapidly at the thought of real combat, but she showed no sign of nerves, just determination to get out there and start tearing things up. It scared him a little, because Starbuck was fearless and right now he just wanted to see a glimpse of Kara. Lee leaned in and kissed her quickly, then pulled back to stare into her eyes, “You be careful out there, alright?”

She must have seen the concern in his gaze, because she said, “Don’t worry, Lee.” Her lips curved into a private smile and she reached out to squeeze his shoulders, letting her head tilt against his for a second. “I always come back to you, remember?” 

Lee swallowed hard and nodded. “You better.”

Kara pulled back, cocked her head, her face shifting into a smirk. “Is that you giving me an order? Cause I don’t think that’s how this CAG thing works…”

He rolled his eyes and she straightened, squaring her shoulders, all Starbuck again, waggling an eyebrow at him. “C’mon Apollo. Let’s go kick some ass. Bastards interrupted our honeymoon.”

*****

As it turned out, the bastards were harder to defeat than anyone could have expected. For nearly six days, their enemies played a vicious game of hide and seek with the Fleet. Life was lived in cycles with only 33-minute reprieves. By the time they got the chance to resume their honeymoon—after the death-defying gun-mag lock, after the 238 jumps wired so high on stims their skin was crawling, after the Olympic Carrier—they were too tired to do anything but strip off their flightsuits and sag on to the mattress next to each other. 

Lee felt stretched thin around the edges, almost as though he’d gotten stuck, frozen in that last second of an FTL jump.His body felt like it was hurtling forward, even though he knew he was laying flat and still. He reached out, wrapped an arm around Kara, needing to hold on to something solid, and when she nestled her head on his shoulder, he turned and inhaled the recycled air and sweat and beneath it all, the faint trace of cinnamon.Slowly the rushing in his head cleared a little, making him feel less like he might go floating off into the ether at any second. 

“You tired?” her voice was creaky, hoarse from repetitive briefings, hours of commands called out over the ship-to-ship lines.

“Exhausted. In fact, I think I’m too tired to sleep.”

“Me too.”

Lee scratched at the itchy rash of stubble on his jaw. He hadn’t showered in 2, no three, days. Hell he couldn’t even remember the last time he brushed his teeth. “Some honeymoon, eh, Mrs. Adama?”

Kara shifted her head to look at him, her face screwed up. “That makes me sound like your mom.” And then her eyes popped open wide, the blood draining from her face. “Oh. Lee. Oh Gods, I’m so—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” he said, still too numb to process the loss. Vaguely he remembered hearing his father mention Caprica, remembered thoughts of his mother filling his head as they stood on the hangar deck.“I guess I’ve just…been trying not to think about it you know?”

He looked at her wide-eyed, serious face. “I mean, Zak’s fine and my dad, and….” he smiled faintly, even a nuclear holocaust unable to dilute his pleasure at saying the words, “my wife. I’m luckier than a lot of people.” 

She eyed him solemnly. “Yeah, we are.” Kara reached down, twining her fingers with his and brushing a kiss along the bruised knuckles of his left hand where he’d jammed it against the throttle in a vicious barrel roll avoiding a cylon missile. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to miss her.”

He tensed his jaw, even as his face twisted a little, and Kara turned fully in his arms, slipping a hand around him and stroking up his back softly. “Hey, hey,” she slid her fingers forward to cup his cheek. “you don’t ever have to hold back with me. You remember that, okay? Not ever.” 

Lee could feel the tears pricking behind his eyelids now at the tenderness in her touch and he closed his eyes to ward them off. But all he could see in his mind was a picture he remembered from one of his grade school history books of a nuclear mushroom cloud. He imagined them on Picon over Fleet Headquarters, on Libran over the quad at the War College, on Caprica over his childhood home. He pictured his mom’s face a few weeks ago, as she’d chattered about her wedding dress, and suddenly it all came crashing down on him. She was gone. They were all gone, his colleagues at the law firm, the crew on the Atlantia, the regulars at Jake’s. 

He tightened the arm around Kara’s waist and clutched her closer to him, burying his face in her hair. She shifted, pressing her lips to his temple and then lower, landing soft kisses against the side of his face.They laid there quietly for a while, until Lee shuddered finally, loosening his tight hold a little. He felt wrung out, mellower now, the artificial tension from the stims finally fading away.

Kara turned, sliding out from under his arm and the bed, padding over to the duffel she’d hurriedly shoved her clothes in during one of the breaks. She unzipped the bag and pawed through it, reaching deep and coming out with two figures clutched in her hands. 

Artemis and Aphrodite. The godess of war and the godess of love. Though he did not practice religion, Lee suddenly remembered that it was once believed the Gods walked the earth in human form. His eyes lingered on Kara’s profile as he thought of all he’d seen over the last few days and for a moment he wondered if perhaps it was true. 

Then she swiped her wrist against her nose and Lee shook his head. Maybe the drugs weren’t quite done with him yet after all. Oblivious to it all, Kara knelt, her hands resting at the edge of the bed, her head bowing. “Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer. Take the souls of your sons and daughters lost this day, especially that of Carolanne Adama, into your hands.” Kara paused. “And please bless my union this day with your son, Lee Adama.” 

She halted again and Lee watched her rub her thumbs up and down the well-worn statuettes in her hands. Her voice trembled slightly, as she said, “And thank you for bringing him to me.” Kara cleared her throat, and Lee felt his own grow thick with emotion as she went on. “May you shepherd us with your guidance and protection for all the days to come.”

Her head stayed bowed for a moment and Lee reached out suddenly, laying a hand over the one she had curled around Artemis. “So say we all.” Kara lifted her head, surprise and gratitude in her eyes, and she repeated it softly after him. She laid the statues aside and climbed back into their bed, curling up next to Lee again, her head on his shoulder. They laid in silence for a few moments, and Lee could feel the fatigue mounting again. 

Suddenly, she lifted up on an elbow, her eyes scanning his face. “Do you think I made the right decision?” 

He blinked, Kara’s question startling him slightly. “You mean getting married?”

“No,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile. “I mean the Olympic Carrier.” 

The smile disappeared. “It was a hard call, Kara.” Lee paused, feeling slightly guilty for the way he’d reacted. Not because he’d protested his father and the President’s decision, but for hesitating to follow Kara’s lead. “I should have fired as soon as you ordered it.” 

“I don’t blame you. I would have protested too… but,” she paused, her eyebrows raising, “I’m the CAG now.” Kara huffed a mirthless chuckle. “Gods, can you believe it? I almost threw up right in CIC when your dad asked me.”

“Those pilots worship you. It was the right choice,” Lee insisted. “My dad’s _and yours_. It stopped the cylons.”

“Maybe.” She said, though she didn’t sound convinced. “For now.” Kara stared at him sadly. “Guess we better get used to rolling the hard six, huh?”

Lee sighed, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of countless days, weeks, months like this stretching in front of them. “Well, I think bright shiny futures are overrated.” 

They were quiet for a second. “Thanks,” Kara said. “For doing it anyway, following my mark.”

He lifted a hand to her face, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I will always follow you, Kara. Don’t ever doubt that. We’re in this together, alright?” Lee locked his eyes on hers, wanting to be sure she understood. “Whatever it takes.”

Kara smiled, nodding slightly, then she sunk down again, laying her head on his chest. Lee curled an arm around her and a comfortable silence blanketed their quarters.

“So does that mean you’ll do half of my paperwork, Apollo?” Kara said suddenly, her voice holding a teasing note for the first time in hours. 

“Not a chance, Starbuck.”

Another minute passed.

“Lee?”

“Yes, Kara?”

“You think we’ll find Earth?”

He paused for a long moment.He wasn’t sure if he believed his father’s proclamation or not, but he knew that Kara wanted to believe it. She needed to hear that they'd find it. Hell, they all needed to hear it. Maybe if he said it enough times, he'd believe it too. “Yeah. Yeah Kara, I do.”

Silence fell again and he could feel sleep pulling at him, dragging him into blessed oblivion.

But Kara’s voice, soft and weary, cut through the darkness. “Good. When we get there, I’ll build you that porch swing."

 

  
\--The End--

 


End file.
